Shock and Awe

“Oh, look how grown up she is!”  “What a cute little outfit!”  “Aww, look at her with her little baby/dollie.”

Yeah yeah yeah.  But did any of you stop and wonder “WTF?” I mean seriously, Why the face? (Oh the things I learn watching Modern Family!)

Well, I’ll tell you ‘Why The Face’!  If you can imagine, I got all pretty for New Years Eve .. because who doesn’t love wearing a pretty dress to sit on the floor and eat Caesar salad with their hands .. and in the midst of happily playing with my babies I overhear my parents talking about stopping the whole giving me boobs thing.   And I’m all like “WHAT?! Are you freaking kidding me!?!”.   I mean, I know I act like a bit like those ladies on COPS who are all “I don’t do crack. I mean it was only a couple of times.   Oh I forgot I got busted for possession last year.. and the year before and .. well, okay maybe I did it more than a couple of times, but I can stop. Really I can” when it comes to the whole boob thing, but is that so bad?  Hasn’t this really been a relationship of convenience all along?

I get my fix, my parents get me to be quiet/stop crying/go to sleep.  It hasn’t been all me.  They are enablers I tell you!!! I totally know how Lindsay Lohan feels now.  Except she got rehab and I got cold turkey on a silver platter.  And to make things worse, my mama is all “No more, all done. They’re finished” and I can totally see that they are still there.  First they think I am deaf and can’t hear their sinister plan and now they think I’m blind.   I may have had eye issues all through the year, but I can see!  And better than my four eyed mama, too!

So, I go to bed on New Year’s Eve hoping they’d see sense.  They even let me sleep on the couch which I totally took as a sign that they were going soft on me.  In exchange, I made sure not to wake up for a ‘hit’ until after 2am!  It’s all about working together.  But instead of being greeted by cuddles from my mama, my daddy comes along and whisks me upstairs.  What?! This isn’t right!! And then he tricked me even more because instead of taking me to my mama, he walked around with me until I fell asleep.  Only I refused to sleep in the crib, so he had to take me to the bed where my mama was.

I gave her about 30 minutes sleep before I tapped her gently (sort of) and cried a bit saying ‘bahbah?bahbah!’ in case she couldn’t understand what I wanted.  And she told me to be quiet.  No “Happy New Year My Sweet Baby Girl Who I Love Oh So Much And Wouldn’t Ever Want To See Cry”, not even a cuddle.  But I am nothing if not persistent, so I tried over and over from about 2.45am until 7.20am.  I thought if she didn’t get more than 4 minutes sleep at a time she’d just give in to make shut up.  Well, I found out where I get my stubbornness from that morning. She didn’t give in.  Not once.  And not once since then.

To make matters worse, she keeps moaning about how sore she is and asking when this will stop hurting.  If she’s looking for sympathy, she can keep looking because I’ve got none here (something else I inherited from her).

All I know is 2011 is not looking to be a good year for me.  And if I’m not happy, well……

Every single day my Mommy talks on the phone with my Kadie and my aunt(s).  On Monday I overheard my Mommy tell Kadie that I am starting to pull up, but that I have no interest in crawling and even cry when  I get myself into the crawling position.

What was that even about?  How very rude, if you ask me.

So you know what I did?  Yesterday I decided to give my Mommy a Good Will Hunting style “How do you like THEM apples” moment and busted out a crawl.  A proper, non-commado, straight up on my knees, crawl!

Trying to say that I can’t or won’t do something.  Silly, silly, Mommy.

I’m no performing monkey, so although she keeps trying to catch me, I keep playing tricks on her and only givingher snippets of my talents before I stop to clap or dance or squeal with delight.

I may have taken longer to get here than my brother, but sisters are doing it for themselves ’round here and sometimes slower and steadier does win the race.

Watch out, World! I’m coming for you.. one knee at a time!

Creepy Crawlers from Kirsty B on Vimeo.

Please excuse the End Of The Day Toy Explosion surrounding me.

That’s right, we’ve entered the second decade of my life and I haven’t even turned one yet. I went to bed on Thursday night and I kept having these dreams about parties and people cheering and I couldn’t figure out what was going on.

So naturally I had to wake up and find my Mommy and Daddy to see if they could help me figure out what my dream meant. And do you know what I found?! They were drinking champagne and wearing silly paper hats and watching tv with lots of clapping. Apparently the whole world was celebrating something called New Year’s Eve. Well I HAD to get in on that action and woke right up and started to laugh and wanted to play. After a while my Parents got really old and boring and wanted to go to bed. I couldn’t believe it. They totally just didn’t want to let me party.

Back to bed I went and I started to think about how I could show them that I was ready to party like them. That I am an independent girl who doesn’t need these “routines” or sleep.

In the morning I just let everyone carry on as normal. I did my whole Get Frustrated Because As I Try To Crawl I Get Stuck On My Leg thing and I played with all of our new toys, practiced standing and walking with the walker and generally did my baby thing.

Since no one was expecting anything different from me, later in the afternoon I was sitting with with everyone on the sofa when I just decided to start clapping. No music, no If You’re Happy and You Know It, no older brother trying to force me to clap. All me.

Now, they know I can get my drink on and I can stay up way past my bedtime and can clap: I’m so ready to party!

Amy Catches The Clap from Kirsty B on Vimeo.

So, I’m nearly 4 months old and it would seem that my Mommy is not half as into making sure this is updated for me as she was with my brother.

Typical second child or what?! You’d think being the second child herself she’d know what to do to make me feel as important as the number one.. but nope!

Okay, so she gives me LOTS of cuddles and lets me help myself to the milk bar all through the early hours of the morning when she would like to be sleeping and when I should be.

But I don’t. Nope. Sleeping through the night is for.. for.. well, I don’t know, but it’s not for me. Not yet. I’m tired a lot and I love short naps and if I can take a long nap right before bedtime it is GREAT. But sleep all the way until the sun comes up.. pft… you must be kidding!

Seriously, Noah is the sleeper. He takes these 2 hour (and sometimes longer) naps every afternoon and some days I am all “wow, that’s awesome”, but most days I am like “when is this dude going to wake up and play with me?”. Then he wakes up with this crazy amount of energy and starts trying to make me stand up alone or dance or flings me around in the Jumperoo and then I’m all “Aaaaahh go back to bed! Go back to bed!”

But really, I love him. When he comes into my Mommy and Daddy’s room in the morning (I told you, I don’t do this all night sleeping thing, so they let me sleep with them when I get up in the wee hours), he comes straight to me to give me hugs and smiles and stuff. And although I smile a lot to my Mommy and Daddy, the true excited smiles sit and wait for his arrival!

I can’t WAIT until I can move around like him. I’m trying. I’m sitting up and strengthening my tummy and back muscles so that I can walk. I’ve given this crawling malarkey a try too. I’m not so good at that, but we’ll give it another go in case I figure out what I am supposed to be doing.

In the meantime I am going to wait until my Mommy finally realises that I am sitting here waiting for her to give you all proper updates.

Don’t mind if I take a nap while we wait.

Another Day Another Nap

Another Day Another Nap

Oh.. and don’t be sitting there judging me on my ‘fluffy’ thighs. It’s where I store my reserves of Cute in case my face ever runs out.

When I was in my Mommy’s tummy, I found a really comfy position and stayed in it for a long time. Apparently it was the “wrong” position to be in. Well, excuse me for not wanting to hang upside down for forty weeks! In the end I figured out that if they were going to force me to move, I may as well do it myself so that I could do it on my terms and take my time doing it.

Everyone was relieved when they found out that I had turned around. But not everyone can be happy about everything all of the time and when I was getting checked over by the paediatrician before I was heading home from the hospital, he found out about my rebellious position and said that because I was chilling out like that in the last trimester, that I had to get my hips checked. Couldn’t he tell that I was fine the way I was pushing him with my legs?!

Well yesterday the appointment to check me out came around. We all piled into my Mommy’s car and drove to Oxford. I didn’t get to see the posh old school buildings or eat at Jamie Oliver’s ‘Jamie’s Italian’, but I got to take my first bus ride.

First Bus Ride

I know I look serious, but it was more that my Mommy kept wanting me to pose for photos when I was trying to look at the world fly by through the window. My big brother on the other hand has done the Oxford bus thing before and just chilled out eating his Fruit Flakes.

Noah the Flake

We got to the hospital and it wasn’t like what I remembered from the couple of times I had to see the midwives in Milton Keynes or like the place where I was born. It was new and shiny and didn’t smell of old people or old things. My Daddy and I got a seat and I had a bottle while I checked out what was going on around me.

Chilling with her milk

My big brother Noah LOVED it. There were toys and dress up clothes and a see saw and giant Connect Four outside where he kept making my Mommy go. I think he thought we were at a mini Toys R Us or something. He just didn’t know what to play with first, or second or last. In fact, my Mommy had to drag him into the room when they finally called my name.

Play Thing

When we got in the room, a lady came in and started talking about “what ifs” and a bunch of stuff my Daddy understood, but that my Mommy didn’t and didn’t want to. Then they made me take my clothes off. I was quickly starting to dislike this place.

Dude where are my clothes?

Noah on the other hand loved it because he found something with wheels. That and he didn’t have to take his clothes off!!

Attendant

Then we had to go into another room where the lights were dim and these ladies wanted me to lie down on my back. Obviously they are crazy. And trust me, I let them know what I thought. I screamed that place down while they tried to ultrasound my hips. Once again I was kicking, curling my legs up and uncurling them, and trying to stand when they wanted me to relax. Obviously all being well with me, but no… they had to keep holding me down.

Well it is a shame that my Mommy didn’t get photos of the next bit because when they tried to move me from the one “bed” to the other where the next lady wanted to test my joints and strength, I peed all over the one who had been holding me down. Ha! Ha!

I kept crying until my Mommy and my Daddy finally got me dressed and took me out of there back into the light and away from the machines. I fell asleep as soon as my Daddy put me in the Baby Bjorn! After what I’d been through and being told that my hips were perfect – duh – I needed the sleep. And sleep I did.. for the next 2.5 hours!

Sleepy Time

… After these messages

I know that I have promised updates and there has been so much stuff to tell everyone, but all the stuff to tell means that things around here have been hectic! I turned one month since I last posted, turned 6 weeks and had two check ups, turned 8 weeks and had needles (that seriously sucked) and tomorrow I’ll be a whopping 2 months old.

There will be back dated posts so that everyone will be able to see what went on and what I thought about it and hopefully when things get into a bit of a routine around here, my Mommy will have time to make sure that all of our blogs are up to date.

Until then I am going to continue to get to know my wild and crazy older brother…

Siblings

and work on this attitude that my Mommy thinks I have. I’ve got no idea what she’s talking about though!

Smiley Smiles

It took me three weeks, but I did it! I finally managed to get back up to my birth weight. It was a long and often painful (for my Mommy anyway) process, but that tiny bit of weight I lost in the beginning didn’t seem to want to come back.

Then came the heatwave and although my Daddy says that he can’t eat much in heat, I was just the opposite. Feed me now! That’s all my Mommy was hearing from me from the moment I woke up until the moment they finally got me to surrender to sleep for the night. Actually, that is what she hears most days regardless of the weather.

But we worked as a team (she was the worker and I was the forewoman) and we got me to a weight that the midwives were happy with (a whole 9lb 10oz)… only they were scared of my skin issues.

Baby Acne. What ugly words. Not baby, but acne and on a baby, so not cute. But what can I do? Last I checked, there wasn’t Clearasil Baby out there. Not that I’ve checked, nor do I even really know what Clearasil is, but I’ve heard my Mommy make similar comments when wondering what to do with my new “accessories”.

spotty spots

So after all of that hard work, we still didn’t get discharged from the midwives because they were concerned. SO concerned in fact, that they sent me and my Mommy, my Daddy and Noah to the doctor to have me checked out. My Mommy got scared, I got annoyed and Noah got bored. My Daddy was just my Daddy which means he just went with the flow. I’ve got to look into whether I someday want to be that way, or if it is more fun to cry a lot the way I already do.

Anyway, we were told that babies get this and it is normal as we were sent on our way. I left a bit more self conscious than when we started the day, but I had a chat with my brother later and he let me know that it didn’t matter what anyone else thought (even my Mommy) because he loved me no matter what.

chit chat

You know what, even though he likes to poke me and on occasion slap my head, I’ve got the best older brother.

People have been wondering why on earth my url is “box of squawks”. I’d like to say that I have been wondering the same thing, but it is no secret in my house: apparently I squawk a lot. In fact, my parents have been calling me “Squawk Box”, “Squawkers” and “Tiny Pterodactyl” since I arrived on the scene. How rude, right? But they don’t think so… they just laugh. To make it worse, Zed and Kadie think it is just as funny.

Newsflash people!! What you think is funny and cute now, might come back to haunt you. My “squawks” are only going to get louder as my lungs get stronger and then who do you think will be laughing, huh? Oh that’s right, good old Tiny Pterodactyl over here.

We’ll just see who gets the last squawk err laugh!

Pbbbbttttt

Amy B

Hi, I’m Amy Sophia Elise.  I’m the newest member of my little family.  There’s my Mommy, my Daddy and my big brother Noah.  I haven’t been around long and I’m just getting my head around things, but I thought I’d share a little background on my life so far….

So there I was having the time of my short life on the inside and enjoying the dark, the warmth and the ability to do whatever I wanted when I wanted .. and then, from out of nowhere it seemed that there was light at the end of a tunnel.  Part of me said “Don’t go, stay in a little longer”, but the nosey part of me won out and the next thing you know I’m squinting from the bright lights and wondering who all of these strange people are who are looking down at me.

Apparently, that was me being born.  Whatever.  All I know, is that I don’t want to go through that again.  Not that I don’t like the people I’ve met since joining the world on the outside, but WOAH what an experience that was.  A once in a lifetime kind of thing.  Plus, I’m only just getting used to the older brother that I got the first time around and I’m not sure that I could handle any more of those.  The one I’ve got will do for now.  Let’s just hope in time he realises that he may need to be a bit more gentle with me .. or else when I can do things like crawl.. or even hold my head up for a while, I’ll be able to get him back.

To be honest, since then it has mostly been Eat, Poo, Sleep.  Sure, there is the odd trip out to Costco or the supermarket or restaurants where I can’t order from the menu .. but there isn’t much going on other than working on growing and getting back up to my birth weight.  Oh, and there was that business about getting a god belly button which my Mommy was convinced I was not doing right when the dangling bit started to smell and I got a hernia, but I proved her wrong today.  No no, it didn’t take this long for the bit to fall off, just for the Health Visitor to say “that’s a great tummy button”.

I’m so glad that Noah didn’t hear her say that.  He already thinks that my nose is a horn, he doesn’t need anything else to push.

Oh look, time for another nap.  Type to you all soon!

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A Bit About Me

Name: Amy B           D.O.B: 4th June 2009 at 10.00am          Weight&Length: 9lb 4oz & In dispute

So you want to know a little about me.  Well, I’m little.  Like really little.  Not just in size, but in days I’ve been around.  I’m still getting used to life on the outside and wondering where I fit in to the giant ball of crazy that is my family.

What I do know, is that I’m Amy B.  I’m the little girly of this family.  I’ve got an older brother, Noah B, who loves to cuddle, poke, prod and “tickle” (one baby’s tickle is another baby’s slap) me and we share a Mommy and Daddy who seem to be as clueless to this whole thing as I am.  Though you’d think that having my brother before me, they’d be pros.

I’ve not decided yet whether I am going to be the one who quietly sits in the corner taking it all in or if I’d rather stir things up whilst looking all innocent in my girly girl outfits.  So keep checking back for updates and follow me on this adventure that is my life and we’ll find out together who I am and which piece of the puzzle I am!