Apparently this baby is really comfortable.  Like super duper extra cosy up in here.  11 days overdue.  What’s up with that, little person?  Everyone is wondering when you are coming out and I, I do really want to meet you and I’d also like to be able to get up to pee without worrying that I am going release the mother of all floods on the bedroom carpet.

You have until Tuesday.  I do admire your determination to leave Aries and become a Taurus.  It is the same thing I did almost exactly 36 years ago.  Only times have changed and you are not allowed to take your sweet time.  The midwife and the doctor have decided that the 24th is it.  If you don’t decide to grace us with your presence before then, you are getting a forced eviction.  I cannot tell you how this terrifies the life out of me.  And apparently that is the only way you will come out and join this crazy family.

I promise, we’ll be kind.  At least we will try our hardest.  I will let you down from time to time. That might be month to month or minute to minute, but I promise to try.  You have a bossy boots older sister who believes that she is going to be bathing you, changing your diaper and feeding you.  She has also been practicing lifting you into the moses basket by using her plastic toy mushroom in your place.  Your older brother is also kind of excited, though he is more aware of what comes with babies in his house.  But he is the one who is going to be gentle with you and want you to do everything he is doing.  For now.

So don’t be scared.  Or at least not too scared.

Plus, I had a dream that you got stuck on the way out because your lips were too big, so we need to stop growing those. Okay?

 

 
19 april - 9 days overdue

Today is Friday.  For another 8 whole minutes.  After which, it will be Saturday.  And?  And this means that I will have another day of people asking where this baby is, when is this baby coming, have I forgotten to spread the news, when am I being induced…..

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

I like to think that I am a pretty affable pregnant person.  At least to strangers.  I don’t mind people touching my belly or giving me their thoughts on what I am having because of the way I waddle or whether my bump is neat or wide or my nose is 7 times larger than when I started this journey.  I get it. People like babies that are not theirs.  Trust me, I totally understand.  Not that I am a foreign belly toucher, but I am alright with those that enjoy such weirdness.

What pushes my hormone filled, baby growing body over the edge (if you ask Lee, he’ll tell you the answer is everything) is when you hit the Due Date and the questions start flying at you.  You can’t call anyone, you can’t alter your online habits, you can’t not notice a BBM for fear of setting off a mini panic.  People want to know WHEN and they want answers NOW.

Trust me; it would be pretty convenient for us to have answers too.  But we don’t.  When we do, it will be all over Twitter and Facebook, your phones and email.  I’ll even throw the news up on G+ for the 3 1/2 of you that ever use it.  And until then, I am over answering the questions.

I need to use that energy to pay attention to the two toddlers that don’t understand just how exhausted I am and still want Mommy to be playing trains on the basement floor or pretending to be a baby forcing a smile as a not quite 3 year old slams a hard plastic bottle full of what looks like Glucose Test Orange Drink into your teeth repeatedly.  Even if these are the same tiny humans who fall over themselves laughing when I try and lift myself off of the deck after a bubble blowing session.

It is Crazy Time around here right now and it is only going to get crazier.  This baby cannot stay inside forever, so there is no need to panic or worry.  S/he will be out soon.  And let’s be honest, they aren’t going to be cute for at least a few days, so if i did somehow forget to update the world, by the time I remembered the baby can only be that much better looking.

 

(And no, this post has no photos like I had promised. And yes, I know I missed Noah’s birthday update.  and of course I have way more to write about and haven’t.  I will – to all of it.  Maybe tomorrow)

don’t waste another minute on your cryin’

Sorry, part of my baby brain leads to random moments where I feel like my body is just a vessel for hosting Alan Thicke’s spirit.

That and what a difference a day makes!!

After the Confessions of a Panic Stricken Pregnant Lady yesterday, we grabbed my home birth list (that’s right… home birth.. we’ll get into it later) and went to go get as much crossed off as possible.   When we came home, the list was nearly complete, with bonus Gift From The Baby for Amy and even a mystery bag of cinnamon hearts to enjoy.

Well, as much as you can enjoy something when you are super dizzy and feeling faint.  But my Super Duper husband ran me a bath and we decided on a paint colour for the bathroom (because if I am going to labour in there, I really need to like the colour I am looking at).

And then I got out of the tub and changed my mind about the colour.

But I didn’t stress. Because the baby has 3 onesies now and some receiving blankets and I feel like I am totally ready.  Other than the whole getting up for feedings during the night, because right now when Amy wakes up 32084 time AT 2.5!!! it is all I can do not to run in her room, cover the walls with egg cartons and hope to soundproof that shit out of that thing so we can all GET SOME SLEEP!  Only the eggs we buy come in plastic containers (woo hoo environment – we do recycle them), so I know I can’t do it.  Plus.  There is NOTHING that can silence the beast within Ames when she decides that she doesn’t want anyone to sleep if she can’t.

Other than Noah’s brain.  That boy sleeps through it.  Every night.  And bounces out of bed in the morning saying “I had a BIG sleep!”, so impressed with himself and completely oblivious to the salt he is grinding into our wounds.

But HEY! I’ve Got Plastic Tablecloths! to sleep on whilst we await this bundle of awesome that is sure to pull the rug out from under us, just as we start to feel steady on our feet.  But I’m doing what I can to stay one step ahead… until he or she arrives.  At least I keep telling myself that.  We’ll see how it really goes come April.

Please let this baby wait until April.

 

This is like the longest football (not the soccer kind) game of my life. Although we have gradually crept along gaining yardage, there have been many sacs and incomplete passes along the way. At some points it felt like all we were going to score was a field goal, and never actually make it into the endzone for a touchdown. But here we are at 39 weeks today which means that the endzone is in sight and this quarterback, who now looks like a nose tackle, is going …to…go…all…the…way!

I’m about to do something the Buffalo Bills appear to have forgotten how to do: I’m getting a Superbowl ring. Mine is going to come in a package that screams and poos and sleeps and poos and cries and poos and eats and will most likely have me wrapped around their finger rather than me wearing the prize around mine, but that’s alright!

Over the past week I’ve felt like I’ve been losing yardage. My head hurts insanely every morning which forces me back to bed for a few hours. My stomach is constantly in a state of total tightness or upset. My early (week -1 through 27) nausea seems to be returning for most of the morning hours. And worst of all the tears are back. They are nowhere near what they were, but they are coming whether it be from sadness, happiness, fear or excitement. Ain’t no stopping them now.

At least now though, I can see the goal line. I know where I need to be and it is not out of my reach any longer. I’ve still got a lot of passes to complete before getting there, but I shall endeavour to do them so that when the time comes, all I need to focus on is those last few yards. Hopefully my special teams will be fully assembled by then (Mom and Lee) and all will go like clockwork.

Yeah, I know this is me we’re talking about, but I can dream right?

So with one last week to go (hopefully), I shall be giving one last ticker update as to where BoB is at right now:

“This is it! I’m done squirming around in here! Unless I’m feeling ultra snuggly… I’m 39 weeks old, only 7 days to go! “

So this morning I woke up just before the alarm went off for Lee because of course I had to pee.  When I got back into bed my stomach started to hurt.  I left it a minute and then got back up to go to the bathroom like I have done almost every morning for the past month and a half.   Only this time when I returned and tried to go to sleep I started to get some serious cramps.  As my glider was due to be delivered today I tried my best to ignore them.  Yes, I cannot wait to meet this baby (actually I can hold out another 2 weeks), but I’m really excited about this glider!!!

Anyway, my stomach was not in the mood for bargaining, so we were off to the loo once again.  All the while I started to wonder if this was My Luck.  Was I going into labour now so that I’d miss the delivery?  Let’s face it, if that was going to happen to someone, it would be me.  I sat there as my stomach turned into a rock and the cramps got worse.  I eventually tried to make it back to the room once more, giving up on sleep.

I sat at the computer, rebooted it, all whilst holding my gigantic belly, wondering how to soften it and how to get these cramps to go away.  I decided to give the bathroom another shot, but just when you’d think relief was around the corner, the Tummy of Rock returned and the cramps felt tighter and stronger.

At this point I was getting really annoyed…am I? am I not? is this how is starts? how the hell do you time something like this when you are too busy hugging your bump?  And then I decided that it was all Lee’s fault.  It was not a conscious decision, but because he was leaving for work and I had no idea what was going on, it felt right.  In reality I wasn’t assigning blame, but I was scared and didn’t want to show it, so his innocent questions did not receive appropriate answers.

I finally managed to leave the washroom because there was a slight softening of my tummy, got dressed whilst Lee left for work, my tummy softened, BoB woke up, tummy went hard, cramps went away, tummy went soft, brushed my teeth, glider was delivered, tummy went hard and slight cramping returned, and now tummy is a medium grade of solid but the cramps have gone for now.

Please, this is not how I want to spend the next two weeks or less/more, wondering if every off or odd feeling I have is a sign that BoB is on his/her way.  I still need to get some sleep damnit which is a STRUGGLE and a half right now.  My hips feel like they’ve been punched all day long because I can only sleep straight up on my sides.  This has increased my tossing and turning and moaning and irritability when the non-pregnant man in the bed next to me lies there snoring away like sleeping is the easiest thing on earth to do.  I cannot tell you how I look forward to sleeping on my stomach again.  Well, before the milk comes in and makes it not so great to do… oh and as if I’m actually going to get to sleep through a night in the next 20 years.   But other than that, I am looking forward to it.

Okay, we’ve gone rock hard again, so I am going to get the pyjamas back out and crawl into bed and hope this is all just false.  I don’t have the energy today to be producing a baby.

Oh, and sorry to Lee for taking my fears and frustrations out on him.   I should have saved them for the delivery man who was going to leave the heavy glider box outside of the front door for my massively pregnant self to drag in, but I had visions of a lovely man who would see my state and bring the box to the nursery and didn’t want to ruin my chances.  Looks like karma took care of that!

Lastly: This is Week 38! Officially 2 weeks .. or notenoughtimeformetogetmyheadaroundthis… until BoB is officially due!

Ticker Update:    I am at least 7lbs and if I decide to stay in here, my fingernails will need to be clipped! I am 38 weeks old, only 14 days to go!

Just to let you know BoB, we’re cool with the nail thing.  The nail clippers are packed, so no need to rush little dude/dudette.  Also, no need to keep sticking your bum in my ribs.  Totally uncalled for and totally uncomfortable.

Yesterday we reached a milestone: 37 weeks!

Sure, technically BoB has 3 weeks cooking time left, but he/she has reached the mark where the medical professionals consider him/her “done”.  If BoB arrived today (not that I am wishing this), then there is no SCBU (NICU for the North Americans) needed.  Nope, BoB has served his/her sentence and now we wait until he/she decides to come out and meet us.

We tried our Magic 8-Ball game this morning which didn’t exactly give us much to go on.  In fact it went like this:

Lee: If we are going to meet you in a week’s time, wriggle

BoB: <no movement>

Me: <sigh of relief>

Lee: If it is going to be longer than a week, wriggle

BoB: <no movement>

Me: If you are not interested in playing along with our silly games, wriggle

BoB: <wriggle>

Okay, so we didn’t get the answer we were looking for, but being me, I’ve got to respect this baby who is all about the mind games and control.  Though now I am doubting that BoB is a boy.  He/She definitely acts like a girl.

As we continue to wait (and patiently I may add… though the excitement and fear are building), I shall keep on with my cleaning/rearranging of the whole house in preparation for BoB’s arrival.  Maybe by next week I’ll lose my phobia of touching meat and actually get back into cooking as well.  Last night I took baby steps and made bruschetta.  A few more episodes of Ready Steady Cook and Masterchef Goes Large and I’ll be ready to start cheffing it up again.   At least until BoB arrives and I spend all of my spare time trying to sneak a nap in.

BoB Update: I’m over 6lbs and almost ready to come out even though my brains and lungs are still growing. I’m 37 weeks and 1 day old, only 20 days to go!

Note: We already know that our little fatty is over 6lbs.  Last week it was over 7 and closer to 8.  I think I like the “ticker” better than the ultrasound.  Especially if BoB hangs around past his/her Womb Lease Expiry Date.

I was just looking over the first posts I’d made on this blog to see how things have changed: health, outlook, emotional stability, and BoB’s progress. It’s actually pretty shocking.

Then:

17th July 2007: Week 9 Update: BOB weighs about 2 grams, and is between 2-2.5 centimetres (not even a full inch) long. This may seem tiny, but around Sunday, the little bugger can start peeing inside of me.

Now:

3rd January 2008: Week 33(+2) Update: BoB weighs about 4.75 pounds and is approximately 18 inches tall. His/Her central nervous system is still maturing. Only 47 days to go!

In July there were still 217 days of preparation left. BoB is now approximately 18 inches taller than 6 months ago and a whole hell of a lot heavier. Sometimes I am so preoccupied by the journey that I’ve been on through all of this (and the fact that I am nowhere near ready for the arrival) that I forget how small the changes to me have been in comparison to what BoB’s been going through in the cover of darkness.

And soon we shall all be able to meet the Tiny Little Human who has been turning themselves from a microscopic thing with a tail, to a proper little dude (or dudette). I’m almost sick with anticipation… and fear.

Somehow, there are only 52 days left until BoB’s estimated date of arrival. Many other prepared parents would be sitting back relaxing on the sofa with their feet up, enjoying their last days of freedom. Lee and I …. are not prepared. Sure, we are getting there slowly. Slowly. Very slowly. By the end of this weekend we may even have the dark and light blue walls of the Room Formerly Known as The Geek Room covered with white paint in order to prepare it for whatever colour is coming next.

Throughout this pregnancy I’ve felt like we’ve had all the time in the world, even though time has flown by. On the days where I was constantly on the verge of vomiting, it didn’t really feel like time was moving at all, but then I’d wake up the next day and realise there was one less day for us to get things done in.

One thing we have accomplished, is that we’ve packed BoB’s bag for the hospital. So should this Womb Raver make an early entrance, he or she will have diapers and clothes at the ready. My hospital bag… umm, not quite there. I could be using this time now to do it, but instead I am sat here with earphones on, hooked up to the Crappy Listening Device I suckered us into buying all those months ago and Lee is building the “dresser” (more like below waist level shelves) in BoB’s room so we can have a better image of the colour of the wood as we cannot find anything that matches it and need to see what other colours go.

Do not get me wrong, it is not like we’ve just been lounging about. BoB most definitely has not. In the past few weeks he or she has really picked up the pace on the movement. Sometimes when it is least desired by his or her extremely exhausted mommy-to-be, and always at the utmost amusement of his or her daddy-to-be. The Almost 3 Brotherstons of Milton Keynes (only Temporarily we hope!!! Bring on anywhere else that isn’t here!) have actually been across the pond and celebrated “Christmas” with my family, endured a snowstorm and my aunts threw me a baby shower. Then we came back here, returned to work for a few days and celebrated Christmas with Lee’s family, returned to work for a couple of days (at least attempted to before my episode yesterday) and now we’re exhausted with a million things left to do.

Being 30 weeks pregnant on a plane was somewhat worrying as I was dreading having to ask for a seatbelt extension or simply fitting in the seat.  Luckily BoB hasn’t made me grow sideways and rested comfortably above the seatbelt, so all fears there were for nought.  I had been told that my sister-in-law had just flown to Toronto, slightly less pregnant (a whole 19 days), and found it uncomfortable so I was worried about that too.  However, BoB was a born traveller.  I guess already having been tossed about on planes to Toronto, San Francisco, Las Vegas and back in the early days let him/her know what sort of thing they’d be putting up with by taking residence in my tummy.  The only thing BoB decided to do was to make my belly lopsided bycurling up on my right side which seems to be his/her preferred place.

30w1d: BoB on a plane

…We interrupt this programme for an important news update…

Lee’s just completed the “dresser” and it is a nicer colour than I remember and matches the Banana Dream colour we’d thought of going with. It is so so so confusing. Cream or Banana Dream? They both go and now we are confused. Happy, but confused!!! Where is Martha Stewart…. or my mother… when we need her? Oh yeah, my mother is somewhere in a plane over the Caribbean Sea at the moment *grumble grumble*

The Dresser and the Monkey

Back to your Original Programming.

So, as this has become a lot longer than planned, we’ll do a mini round up in photos.

December 12th we arrived in Toronto to see snow on the ground (YAY!!!!!!!)

12.12.07 Snow!

Even the excitement of the fluffy white stuff couldn’t distract me from what I really wanted though…

WINGS!

30w1d: BoB gets Wing Machine

The next day Lee, my Mom and I braved the snow for some last minute shopping.  My jacket couldn’t do up, but who needs a jacket when you’ve swallowed a personal heater!?

30w2d: BoB keeps me warm

(p.s: my hair didn’t look that good after trudging across the parking lots of Woodbridge in the snow)

The next day saw Lee off to work at Oceanfresh and my Mom and I off pyjama shopping and eating West Indian food in the car like the true Ghetto Queens that we are.   When we set off for the day, my mom forgot to inform me that Lee was wearing the same top as I was.  This was the SECOND time we’ve been caught matching unaware.

30w3d: BoB in stripes

30w3d: BoB from the front

14.12.07 Happily Matching

On the 15th of December it was time for the Barlekushnaphan Christmas.  This involves food, drink, six children 8 and under, a party room, presents and tears.  Though this year being Lee’s first was actually tame. No food or drink was thrown, no one wet their pants (regardless of age), no major adult tantrums were thrown and no one dropped the gloves when it came time to the adult gift exchange.  It was like everyone behaved for Lee.  Where was he our whole life?!

It was smiles all around that day.  At least once the party started.

30w4d: Hot Pink Santa with Kiera and Sarah

Perhaps too smiley on some occassions…

Aaron and Lee

The following day was my baby shower than my aunts held for me.  Like every other big occassion in my life, Mother Nature was royally pissed that she hadn’t received an invite and decided to chuck the snow down.  It was the highest one day snowfall in 60 years, but that wasn’t keeping my mom, BoB and I away from Pickering. No Siree!! We got ready early and made our way slowly but safely.  The only times it got really scary were on the way there when I kept thinking I had to go to the washroom and there was no where to go.  But I held it in like a big girl and we made it.   What an effort they went to as well!! I had been nervous because Cath kept telling me that it was going to be the gayest shower ever, but Sue and Cath could not have held a more perfect shower for me.  There was jerk chicken, macaroni pie, rice and peas, cake, presents and lots of laughter.  I am not sure how I will ever be able to let them know how grateful I was for the day!  It may not have been the turn out that they were expecting, but I had a GREAT time!  As did Luke when he returned and found his new love Pennie sat in his living room.

I have no photos of the shower (my Mom has those I think), but here is me getting ready to go.

30w5d: Shower Bound

30w5d: BoB in Silver!

The next day everyone was relaxed.  Cath came by with the boys for one last pre-BoB visit and the afternoon saw Lee back working at Oceanfresh and then a chilled dinner with the parents and back home to pack.

This is how chilled the day was…just take a look at Adam lounging:

30w6d: Hanging out in the kitchen

The trip came and went in a flash, but it was the taste of home I’d been needing for a while and should keep me going until my mommy arrives (hopefully) in time for BoB’s arrival!

Since we’ve been back Christmas has come and gone.  We had a nice quiet Christmas in front of the Wii with Lee’s family.  We’ve found out that Russell had a heavier brain than the rest of us, but I shall keep working on it.  It might actually help me regain all of the brain cells I’ve lost over the past 32.5 weeks.

One thing has remained.  My inability to stay in one outfit as demonstrated on Christmas Day….

The Morning:

32w: Christmas Day

32w: Christmas Day II

The Afternoon:

32s: Festivus!

The night:

32w: Christmas Day III

So there we have it.  A quick  long drawn out bring-you-back-up-to-speed update on how things are going in the life of Kirsty, Lee and BoB.

I think I need a nap now.  And then I will really start working on the nursery.  I swear.  Really.  Well, probably.

As I’ve written on my normal blog, I’ve yet to be consumed by The Christmas Spirit.  I want to be. Desperately, but it just isn’t happening.  Perhaps it is the pure exhaustion of being quite pregnant, the fears and worries and stresses that come with the pregnancy, my inability to concentrate on anything for an entire minute added with my fragile mental state.

Yeah, we’ll go with the All of the Above choice there.

I’ve been slacking on the BoB blog due to the physical and mental exhaustion.  We’re still taking the photos, and I still think “ooh, I should write about X or Y”, but I just lie there like a lump of moss on roof tile.

This week I’ve passed my Life in the UK test which means should my application be sent in on time and approved, BoB’s Mommy will be legally allowed to stay in the country once BoB is born.  It won’t be a birthing equivalent to a Dine and Dash where I’ve got to push push push and then be deported once the cord is snipped.

Hooray for that!   As I feel I may be a little tired when BoB arrives.

As well as I did on the test, I failed my Blood Test last week.  My iron levels have dropped again and I’ve been put on iron pills.  Luckily I am going away on Wednesday because that will give my midwife enough time to forget her threat that she was going to tell me off if it went lower than the last test.

Though it means I have to have another test next time. That is worse than the side effects of the iron pills, which have seen me up at all hours with stomach cramps.

Over the next couple of weeks the postings may continue to be slow in coming because we are off to Toronto for some of the week ahead and some of the week after.  Then there is Christmas and New Year’s Eve.  Then only 3 and a bit weeks of work left before I get to sleep in, if I am not too busy having mini heart attacks at what is about to happen.

I am going to be a mother in just over 10 weeks.  That is if BoB is on time and not early… or late.

So here are some photos to hold you over in case I have a total emotional meltdown not being able to cope with all of the events and stresses ahead!

From Monday: 28weeks 6days

28w6d: From the Front

28w6d: From the Side

Where the Belly Button would be if it popped

Friday: 29weeks 3days

29w3d: Side View

Get in mah bellah!

29w3d: All of the BoB

People say pregnancy suits me.. I think it is because the belly finally balances out the bum!

29w3d: The Belly

Saturday: 29weeks 4days

29w4d: By the tree

29w4d: Posing by the Tree

29w4d: BoB's 1st Christmas on the inside

BoB gets a close up of the tree:

29w4d: Mah Bellah

We’re under 100 days, folks!   Actually, there are only 97 days to go (give or take…though we’re hoping for as close to the mark as possible).   I meant to post this two days ago but have only just worked up the energy.

Monday will mark 3 months to go and hopefully sometime before that elapses I will get a lot of sleep in so that I am ready for all of the no sleep nights/days/weeks on the other end.  It’s doubtful, but we live in hope!