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Rollercoaster of Love

I’ve been quiet (for me) this past week because I’ve had a return of the Pre-Baby Blues.  My energy is non-existant and I just cannot be bothered with much.  After staying home from work on Thursday and Friday and spending most of those days crying or angry at the NHS, I decided to try and cheer up for the weekend.  It mostly worked.  Mostly as in, I left the house for non-medical reasons and didn’t cry while we were out.  BIG achievement for me as weekend outings seem to be Teary Time and either leave us amused or drained.

We’ve really got a start on turning the Geek Room into a nursery.  By “we”, I mean mostly Lee.  My contribution has been painting the walls – not proper painting but rather testing the colour on different walls.  It is hard going from DARK blue and light blue to Banana Dream #5.  It is quite a difference, but Lee approves and I am sure BoB will.. if he or she is in this house long enough to even notice what colour the walls in his/her room are.  So far it just looks like I’ve started painting fried eggs with broken yolks on the wall:

Banana Dream!?

It’s hard to tell the colour when we’ve got a naked bulb lighting this room.  Which reminds me: must get lightshade before baby burns their retinas staring at the naked bulb.

I’ve also had a weekend of realising that I might soon run out of skin for this belly to expand into.  However, I cleverly purchased a ROOTS sweatshirt last year that masks this fact and I LOVE IT!

Where's the Belly? 25w4d

Hooray! I just look flumpy, not massive! Even with it open I can create the illusion of The Disappearing Bump…

It's only little!

But ditch the hoodie, turn sideways… and I’m back to BLAM! Face Full O’ Belly!

25w4d and there is more to go!?

It is something I am not dealing well with.  I’ve always wanted a Mummy Tummy, but now that I have one, I actually wouldn’t mind the smaller version.  It’s like when I was a younger teenager and everyone else had boobs. I so so so wanted some too, but when I got them I realised I didn’t want as much as I got.  But, I guess I shouldn’t be looking gift horses in the mouth.  There’s a very hyper active reason for this belly and I’ll gladly have my body rip and stretch and deal with the crying and painful “bits” in order to accommodate the little Mr. or Miss that is setting up camp.

See look… we’re happy…

LeeB and Me!

Check out that Roger Ramjet chin I’ve got going on. Eat your heart out Reese Witherspoon!

Today we went for a tour of The Horton Hospital maternity ward in Banbury.  It was our first viewing of potential Escape From Milton Keynes locations and it was alright.  We only got a brief viewing of the labour ward because they were “busy” and all of the rooms were full.  We then went upstairs and saw the SCBU (English NICU) section where we saw itty bitty bubbas being fed through tubes in their noses and one that wanted so much privacy that they had a blanket over the incubator.  I was jealous.  I wanted an uninterrupted  sleep like that!  There was also a few rooms for the babies that didn’t need incubators, but still needed to stay in while their mommies went home.  Hopefully BoB will escape having to be in one of those rooms.   The final part we saw was the actual post birth rooms.  There were some single bedded rooms ..with ensuites… without and 4 bedded bays.  If we end up going there, you know I’m going to fight tooth and nail for the single room.

There were plus sides and down sides.  The pluses were a) the midwives we met were really nice and friendly b) security there is awesome  c) internet is free if you pay £2.90 a day for tv  d) it is not Milton Keynes.  The downside.. and this one nearly made me cry – I asked one of the midwifes if my Mom could stay with me during the “husband + partner” hours because she was coming from so far away…and she said NO.  If I had a pacifier in my mouth at the time, I would have spit it out and stormed off.  Instead I just sulked and walked away.

So we’ll see about that.  We still have to tour Bedford in a couple weeks and Lee needs to get the scoop from a guy at work whose wife had a baby there this week.

Oh, another downside to this tour – I saw women with smaller bellies that I just know are due before me.  AND one woman who I figured was due next month or early January…and she is being induced tomorrow at 42 weeks!!!  FORTY-TWO.  Forty Freaking Two weeks of carrying that belly around… and she was not that much bigger than me.

BoB and I need to go on a diet!

These are from today.  I thought I looked smaller until I got home .. Lee took these photos and I realised that I am a house on legs.  No scratch that… I am an entire Apartment Building!

Oh look.. not that big.. you might think:

Front 25w5d

Wrong again!

Side 25w5d

They are going to charge me for concealing extra baggage when  I fly to Toronto next month!

It's Huge! 25w5d

It’s like an old man with a beer belly in maternity pants.  I think I might have to give up this thing of weekly photos.  Unless Lee invests a lot of money into a wide lens.

25w5d

Just be happy that I am covering the thing up and you are not witnessing the attempt at the belly button to pop out since it only seems to be happening on the left side.

Luckily I have my ample butt or else I think I’d be falling forward!

25 weeks and 5 days. That means there are about 14 weeks and 2 days to go yet.  I may yet end up on Jerry Springer in one of those Geraldo-esque episodes where they need to crane lift me out of the house when I go into labour.

Right, it’s not even 9pm and I am going to bed.

The new look of the BoB Blog happening on the first day of a new month is purely coincidental. I just had a semi-non-completely-lazy day, found a new theme and asked Lee to set me up.

Today it would appear that BoB may have discovered that she/he does not always have to chill horizontally. Although most of the action …and always the hiccups… still happen in the deep south of the gianormous chill pad Bob’s building, there was action in the rib area. Not violent elbows or kicks, but more like vibrations. Almost as though BoB were playing the spoons on my ribs. It actually tickles more than anything. Not that I am encouraging rib action. Especially since my mother has scared me off with tales of baby extremities getting wedged in there and making an already uncomfortable situation a bit more so.

After watching this “expansion” project really take shape… a whole lot of shape… over the past couple of weeks, I am actually starting to look forward to this “bonding” 4d ultrasound that we have scheduled for the 1st of December. It will be great to see that BoB’s okay, but even better is that I get to see what the heck is going on in there. There is no way an approximately 1.5lb baby can need THIS much room. I know I posted a picture of what we looked like last night, but today I realised I was wearing an outfit similar to one I was wearing not quite two weeks ago. Hey, what can I say?! My maternity purchases have been few and far between, plus I am always told I should recycle.

So here are BoB and I at 24 weeks and 2 days!

It is frightening to think I walk around like this all day….

Woah Mama 24w2d

Even I am in shock at the size of this belly!

From the side 24w2d

Another side shot… shirt up, flashing some over the bump pants. Sexy!

BoB Undercover 24w2d

And a close up of of the Amazing Expanding Belly That BoB Built!

BiG BuBb BoB 24w2d

And to think that Lee’s guesstimated a weight of under 9lbs! (I hope he’s right, but I’m not counting on it. Let’s just hope he’s not THAT wrong)

Only 109 days and 46 minutes until we know for sure!!! (give or take a minute, hour, day or so…)

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Sick Sense(less)

At lunchtime today I went to the mall (shopping centre..whatever) with a co-worker and as we were walking around I kept saying “ooh do you smell that? Is that….?”.  The guesses ranged from popcorn to soup to steak.  After we got my lunch we started to walk back and I said “Wow, the air smells like Parmigiano cheese.  It is almost like I’ve stuck my head in a wheel of it” and she just chuckled.

After work I was walking out to the parking lot (car park… whatever) with a different co-worker and I said “wow, the air still smells like cheese”.  She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me.  My mind was racing and I started hoping that there was going to be something at the restaurant that had Parmigiano cheese on it when my illusions were shattered and my co-worker brought me crashing back down to earth with these 8 words:

That is not cheese, that is cow shit. 

I thought my sense of smell was supposed to be heightened, not on hiatus.

In other news:  Only 126 days, 6 hours and 41 minutes until BoB’s estimated time of arrival (according to Lee).  Personally I think it is more like 131 days and 16 hours of labour… but at least I’ll still make it in time for the February spot on the calendar!

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Halfway Tree

We have reached a very important milestone today – instead of counting up for 20 weeks, we can start counting down for the next 20.  That’s right, we’ve reached the part of the journey where instead of saying “are we there yet?”, I can start to panic and wonder if I’ve remembered everything (doubtful with my severe case of Baby Brain) and realise that there just isn’t enough time to get everything done that needs to be done.

Today we’ve reach 50%! Hooray!

I feel like I’ve reached 95% and I don’t look too far off of that, but hopefully they will tell me tomorrow that everything is going swimmingly and that it’s alright to look like I’m moments from birth, even when I’ve got until at least mid-February.

So as there will be a longer post tomorrow about the newest sighting of BOB, which should entail far less dithering and far more interesting detail, I shall end this with some horrifically unflattering photos of myself to show off my every expanding stomach (and butt and chest.  PS: the shirt was never the most flattering pre-pregnancy, but it was cold out today!).  I’m convinced that my stomach grows every time I breathe.

BOB at 20 weeks:

He or She is Somewhere in There

Me from the front:

Losing the waist at 20 wks!

It’s a bus…it’s a train… no, it’s me from the side!

Letting it all hang out 20 wks

Peek-a-boo!

This better be a big baby!

And let’s end on a no belly photo…. I hope you were not eating when you viewed the last photos.  If so… Sorry!!!!

Barbapapa and Barbamama 20wks

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22.5 weeks to go.

I swore to myself at the beginning of this roller coaster ride that I would not be one of “those” women who didn’t enjoy every moment of being pregnant and couldn’t wait for it to be over.    I must have crossed my fingers without realising it because as opposed to how the days seemed to be flying by in the early weeks, they are dragging already.  I’m not even halfway there yet.  Everyone at work seems to be going on holidays to lovely, sunny, not Milton Keynes type places … meanwhile I look forward to the end of the day where I can put on pyjamas and ‘enjoy’ my nausea in the comfort of my bed.  That’s when I can get comfortable.

“They” say that pregnant women should lie on their side (preferably left), but “they” forgot to tell BOB, because BOB hates it.  I swear every single time I lie on my side the little dude pinches me or something as evil, because it does not feel nice at all.  Then again, it could be because every now and then to make sure that I am not imagining the belly, I attempt to lie on my stomach which feels really and I mean really strange.  And no doubt is quite uncomfy for the little one.

Speaking of The Belly – how is it that at 17.5 weeks pregnant, I look like I’m waaaaaay further along.  How come I’ve got this Salma Hayek sudden eruption of baby belly, without the benefit of looking like Salma Hayek (minus that short and surely pregnancy caused frizzy hair she had there for a while)?!  Though I really don’t need the Boob Explosion that she has going on.  Not cool.  Lee may disagree, but carrying them around normally would be a pain, never mind them and BOB.

I digress…  back to BOB.  When I told my mother about my last midwife appointment and how she said BOB was so well behaved and that the ultrasound photo was so nice, she responded with “what do you expect coming from.. Lee”.  Well, I’ll have her… and anyone else reading… know, that BOB takes after me too!  Today I got some money out that I was going to exchange and as I counted it, the tiniest feet in the world started making sure that I knew they were there.  I put the money away and the feet went away.  Later on at the dentist I went to pay and when I got the money out again, the feet came out again.  I think the second time it was in protest at being separated from the money.  Awww.. like mommy like BOB.

So there it is.  The past ten days have seen BOB start kicking … though it feels more like he or she is fluttering their uber long eyelashes (from Lee!) against my insides… and the return of the choking nausea feeling, my first purchase of maternity jeans (which make me feel really weird) and the first time we have purchased something specifically for BOB  – a lovely happyfaced skull and crossbones number courtesy of Lee’s Taste.

Other than that, not much action.  Still struggling to make it through the day and addicted to Take on the Takeaway and Hell’s Kitchen.   BOB is so going to be a foodie.

I think I’ve just jinxed myself.

Update time! Only …. 157 days 18 hours 47 minutes left!!

Today was my 16 week mid-wife appointment (coincidentally on the day that I become 16 weeks pregnant).  I went to give my verdict on whether I was going to go for the screening for Downs Syndrome, Spina Bifida and some other degenerative spinal cord diseases.  Oh, and also to find out if I’d test positive for Syphilis, Gonorrhoea,  HIV ….or  low  iron.  We went through the results first and I am pleased to say that my blood is all good.  Even my iron levels were described as “very decent” – a first in my often low ironed life.

Then came the “do you want to…” question regarding the screening, to which I declined.   I was expecting some sort of lecture, but she laughed and said that so far everyone that day had said no.   We did the blood pressure thing – all good, and tested my pee – all good again,  and then we weighed me.  With my head turned away I was nervous that she was going to lay into me and say that I must be eating crap because I’d gained too much weight, yet in the past 8 weeks I’ve gained 2.2 lbs (or 1kg).  When I asked if that was alright she replied with “that’s normal for someone who hasn’t been eating much”.  haha hahahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

ha.

I should have recorded that.

Actually, what I wish I had recorded was the heartbeat listening session.  Knowing how the horseshoe up my bum has rusted over the years, I’d braced myself for the inevitable – ooh we can’t find the heartbeat today… maybe next time.  Instead, as soon as the gellified probe was placed on my tummy there was a “whomp” and then nothing.  She had a slight giggle and explained that the baby was moving.  She put it back on and you could hear a quiet and steady heartbeat that got louder and louder and louder, but stayed very steady.  I asked if it was normal and she said it was great… I said I think it’s a boy and we discussed why… and then.  And then…..     And then….. I was told magical words that all mothers want to hear, though most never get to…… and which I’ll probably never hear again:

…. “What a well behaved baby you have.”…..

(16 weeks in and I’ve got this little monkey under control.)

(for today anyway)

Only 167 days 18 hours 51 minutes left until BOB arrives and shatters my illusions of producing angelic offspring (much like myself).

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I’m Fickle Like That

This morning at work I was discussing various ways to make BOB pay for having me feeling this ill when I’ve gone and passed the 12 week mark and now the 14 week mark.  Everyone says I should be feeling better, but the only thing is that I can sleep through the night – sort of.  What I mean is that I do not have to pee at 4am anymore.  I just have the weirdest dreams/nightmares.  Like the other night when I dreamt that Lee fed me raw chicken wings or the night after when I dreamt that he forced me to chain smoke and then refused to help me when I got a cramp in my leg.  Those are my dreams thanks to BOB.

Anyway, I digress.  Whilst discussing which country I could move to so that I may escape child abuse laws, I kept feeling this …this feeling.  It felt like. Well it felt like a sound I can make but cannot type out because there really is no phonetic way to type blrrrrrrrrrrr and really get your point across.  It was like someone was blowing a chain of bubbles in my stomach at random times.  No pain involved, not panicky response.  Just this odd sensation that came over me a few times.  By late afternoon it had stopped and I had wondered what on earth that was.  Could be good old gas? If so, why didn’t it feel harder, more uncomfortable… and where did it go?  So I gave up thinking about it.

That was until I was telling my aunt how I still feel like a pile of poo.  Oh, and I don’t look much better I may add.  And I described what I had felt.  She explained that it was BOB moving. Not kicking but moving and rubbing against something.  She had experienced the same thing.  And explained that it wouldn’t continue on through now, but would probably stop and then come back again later.

And that’s cool by me!  Because just knowing that she or he is in there enjoying the space whilst they have it, makes up for the triple eye bags in the lovely shade of onyx, the all day long nausea, the headaches and inability to catch up on sleep no matter how long I sleep for.  Know that it is all good in BOB’s hood makes me a happy bunny and all is forgiven.

For now.

Countdown Time: 180 days 14 hours 15 minutes left*

(*12 noon guesstimate provided by the daddy-to-be)

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We’ve Scored A Try – mester!

Over the past week and a half, BOB, Lee and myself have been on four plane rides, gone from rainy cool weather to the humidity of Toronto and the burning heat of the Nevada desert. We’ve suffered (because when I suffer – everyone suffers) from nausea, unbelievable backaches, spontaneous teary outbursts and an inability to properly enjoy the buffets of Las Vegas.

It’s not all been bad. Every time I had a stomachache or uneasy feeling, when I discovered that all was still okay, the elation made up for the rest of it. Every time the nausea comes back Lee and I are atcually quite happy because we know BOB’s still kicking my butt.

Today we arrived back in Toronto and with great relief as we’ve hit the 12 week mark and everyone has been able to exhale a little and let out a huge sigh of relief. We’ve made it to this “magic” point and welcome the start of the second trimester.

Hopefully the second will bring relief from the first in ways which mean that I can stay awake for extended periods of time and not be sick every time I think about eating something delicious.

So hooray to BOB for putting up with me this long! Only 6 more months to go – and then the rest of your life. We’ll try and make it worth it!

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1/4 of the way there!

We’ve reached the 10 week mark.  Tick tick tick.. two weeks from now, Lee and I will be getting over the Las Vegas to Toronto jet lag and breathing easier as we hit the magical 12 week mark.

Any hope that BOB was going to settle down and let me get some energy before we head off on our Summer Holidays has been put up high on a dusty shelf, surely never to be seen again. But you know what? It is okay.  I’d rather be sick and happy than not be sick and either sad or worried.  So long as the Tiniest Human is showing me who’s boss, I’ll be content because at least I’ll know she is there.  Or he, of course.

Today I had two appointments. One with the GP who just told me to keep on enjoying the pregnancy – after I’d told her how I constantly feel like someone is choking me and when I don’t feel that I am either crying or asleep.

Then I saw the midwife.  She is so much better than I expected. Better than we expected really. Lee came along and we were both taken aback by the fact that she was not 49, jaded, serious and smelling like old lady in a hospital.  Nope, our midwife is young, in Chuck Taylor’s with a camouflage skirt and a nice tattoo on the shoulder.  And she told me I could have one piece of tuna sushi.  So I like her.  I like her a lot.

She put my mind at ease and even told me that I do not have to have BOB at MK General, but that she will arrange a tour later on so I can check it out and see.  She also told me that people are a lot friendlier there than I think, and that they too (I compare everything with Portland Hospital) have a lot of Scottish midwives working there.  And when I said that MK General won’t give me champagne when it is all over, she said that I could have it brought in.  Too true.  That news just made Lee relieved that he didn’t have to sneak it under his jacket like he’d planned.

So with 210 days 16 hours and 30 minutes to go (according to Lee’s guesstimate lunch time delivery), I need to get me some sleep so that I have the tiniest chance to stand up to the Warrior Within.

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9 weeks in…

…and I actually didn’t have to get up in the middle of the night last night to pee.

In fact, I went to sleep at 11pm and almost slept through the night – aside from waking up every time I rolled over – not getting out of bed until about 7.30am.

Another bonus about today is that I do not feel so sick just yet.  Though it does feel like Lee was walking on my boobs with high heels whilst I slept.  Though I’ve not confronted him yet, just in case I’m right!

Week 9 Update: BOB weighs about 2 grams, and is between 2-2.5 centimetres (not even a full inch) long.  This may seem tiny, but around Sunday, the little bugger can start peeing inside of me.