Independence in a child can be cute. It can be frustrating. It can be wonderful. It can be messy.

There will be no photos to accompany this post, for two reasons: a) my camera battery is charging for the trip to London and b) I like you. Most of you, anyway.

Amy is our independent child. Sure, she can be the human manifestation of Saran Wrap (read: Cling Film), but generally she wants to do everything for herself.

Not 15 minutes ago, I heard her doing something on the floor in the living room and asked her what she was doing. She ignored me at first and then came to me holding out a baby wipe. A baby wipe covered in baby poo. Not a little bit of fecal matter either. I called Lee over because I knew we had a situation on our hands and I was scared.

Turns out, I had every reason to be.

We’ve deduced that she must have done her business, climbed up on her horse which assisted in squeezing it out as she reenacted Luke Perry’s stellar performance in 8 Seconds to Glory. She then noticed and thought .oO(oh, let me get this…), proceeding to wipe it all over the floor and I guess when she thought there was too much on the wipe, relieved her cleaning partner of the weight and spread it on the couch cushion.

Guess that seals the Not Taking To Canada deal.

I love her. Really, I do. But at this moment in time, I am loving Lee WAY more because while I type this, he has her in the bath making sure all of the poo is cleaned out from between her chubby toes.

Nappy Head Nappy Feet

There's a method to the madness

So we all went to get some fish and chips for dinner tonight and I thought we were having a nice family outing.  That is, until Mah Daddeh starts trying to wrestle my Dora shoe right off of my foot.  And I’m like “Seriously?! A grown man is trying to steal my shoes .. whilst I’m looking?!”

But get this!! He follows up with “I think she stepped in poo!”.

WHAT!?   Now I know I’m the youngest in the house, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it by now that when I poo it goes into my diaper until I tell one of my parents “Bum!” or they chase me down and tell ME “Bum!”.  Okay, they don’t say bum.. but whatever.  And then I hear … it is dog poo.   HELLO?!  Why do they think that I’d be stepping in dog poo?  Where did I even get a dog?!

It appears that they were right though.  I had it on my shoe, on the car seat, on my pants and on Daddy’s leather jacket.  Oops.  Let’s be fair though.  I really did not know.   But what I do know, is that whatever dog did that to me… You are totally top of my Rudey List!!!   How am I supposed to see a pile of poo on MY lawn in the dark?!  A girl just wants to get to the car without eating concrete and you go and trip me up with that!?  Where the blankety blank was your diaper anyway!?

As we ate dinner, I thought about this some more.  How do I avoid these traps in the future?!  How can I protect Dora from going through another cycle in the washing machine?!   How can I keep my Crocs from being so wet that I won’t be able to wear them the next day?!?!?!

And it came to me.   Just like *that*.  If the dogs won’t wear diapers on their bums to catch their poo, I will wear them on my feet.

Poo Shoes

Watch Out Louboutin!!

They may look weird now, but when they catch on you’ll all think back and be like “That Ames was STYLIN’!”.

Just give it some time.

Sometimes I hear other parents talking about what they look forward to when their child grows up. Some can’t wait for the time of day after school when everyone is sat around the table eating and talking about their day. Others can’t wait for their little girls to be brides and go through that whole wedding thing (I dread it!). Some look forward to being able to play sports with their children or be able to share things together that the child will actually remember.

Me? I just look forward to the day where I am not wondering what exactly was in that poo I just had to dispose of.

Simple pleasures, people. All about the simple pleasures here.

I have discovered a whole new world. No, not the world of routines.. or food.. or that I like baby girls… a world that is full of colours and singing and playing. It’s like what I imagined… well, I’ve never imagined much, but if I could redecorate our house, it would be in reds, oranges and purples… with slides and mats and stuffed clowns!!!

That’s right, I’ve discovered Gymboree!!

After Mommy and I went to get weighed and I was done impressing the Health Visitors, we went to the mall. Now normally I hate it. What’s the point of shopping?! It is so B O R I N G!

This time was different though. This time Mommy sat down with me by the big tree and gave me my bottle. I don’t usually eat on these trips! It was nice: just me and my Mommy and my milk. Good times.

And then… and then… and then she went to buy socks. I was starting to get confused. We came all the way out here to get socks and have milk? She’s got socks at home. I know this because when I sit in my Bumbo in the kitchen while she folds laundry she tells me ever single thing that she is folding and I know that she’s said “sock” more than once!

Put it was soon to make sense. We rolled up to this place where she got me out of my stroller and lifted me above the counter and I saw it…. and it was beautiful. There were little people. They were bigger than me, but not that big. Not even as big as my cousins in Canada (and they’re all pretty big compared to me). But they were leaving. And all of a sudden it was me and Mommy. Then another mother brought in a baby girl (Martha.. my second hand holder – Luca not included.. I’m talking girls here). And then more mothers and babies showed up. Next thing I know, I’m on my back (I usually don’t like that) and there is singing and rocking and swinging me about in a towel…. and a clown named Gymbo. I LOVE Gymbo. He’s the coolest person EVER! My Mommy was too busy laughing to be jealous and I couldn’t have been happier.

It was so much fun that I tired myself out. My Mommy went to put me in my stroller and before she buckled me in I was fast asleep!

She told Daddy about this and he wanted to go. Unfortunately for him, there are no classes on the days that he is home. BUT… oh and this is a big big BUT… you can go in and play on Sundays.

Do you know what day it is today? That’s right, Sunday. Sunday was Funday for us!!!

Daddy and I played on the saucer shaped thing…

Saucy Noah

I wasn’t too thrilled about it, but that’s only because we’d just arrived and I was trying to remember what was going on again. I knew it was familiar, but it was taking a while to come to me.

Next I went on a slide!

Down We Go!

That was too crazy. I think I need to be a little bigger. Or at least have some warning about what happens. I can usually get places by rolling, but moving just by sitting?! CRAZY!

From the slide we went to the inner tube thing which was filled with butterflies and bees. It was like they knew I was coming!!

Flutterbies

From there I practised my kneeling. I just wanted to touch the big squishy orange mat.

On Your Knees!

One day I am going to be big enough to jump on that mat!! I will!!

That mat got me a little excited, so I chilled out on this rocking thing while Daddy moved it back and forth for me..

chillaxing

Next, I went for a peek in the red tunnel.

The Tunnel

Now I love red, but this was a lot of it. And it was not so soft on my poor belly. Wait until I can crawl. I’ll show that tunnel who the boss is! That’s right, I’ll be back Red Tunnel!!

After the red tunnel, the best thing EVER happened. Gymbo appeared. It was as if he knew that I had been quietly awaiting his appearance all along. I couldn’t contain my excitement!!!

Gymbo!!!

I’ll be honest. I squealed with delight. Mommy and Daddy looked at me and each other because apparently they’d never heard the noise before. That’s because neither of them look like Gymbo!

Gymbo even got in on a photo with me and Daddy. I’m not smiling much because I didn’t realise that Gymbo was still around. I thought he’d left…

Three Clowns

But he came back…oh yes he did!! And I was once again the happiest little dude on the planet!

Peek a Gymboo

And then Mommy got a photo with me and Gymbo. Why were they trying to steal my time with him? How rude!

Clown Dog, Clown Fish and Noah

Gymbo had to go and Mommy distracted my by rolling me down this big purple cheese wedge. Maybe it is not made of cheese. I don’t know what cheese is like, Mommy won’t share hers with me. How rude again!

Roley Poley Noah

After that we left. I was tired and cranky and they had to get somewhere to get something and I wasn’t interested so I slept.

I slept until I smelled that we were inside Toys R Us, home of the Fischer Price Rainforest Jumperoo. It’s almost as awesome as Gymbo. I played in it for a bit, but play time was ending and Daddy had to get his mow on.

So while he battled the forest of grass, I lounged outside and had a bottle under the gazebo he put up for me, and then I had some wind down time in my travel cot…

Cooling Off

That’s me checking out the green sky. I swear it used to be blue!

But I wasn’t too bothered…in fact, I loved it! The noises, the breeze, the colours of the trees and flowers…and the camera…

Cool Dude

But there was something missing. Actually, there wasn’t something missing so much as one thing that didn’t belong…

Dude Where's My Clothes?

Oh that’s it…my clothes!! That’s right, I took in the 24 degree weather in my diaper. Because I’m hardcore. Because I’m a furnace with a heartbeat and 24 may be nice to the average man, but it is like sticking me in a volcano.

That and I love to have no clothes on. In fact, tonight I intend to sleep the entire night like this. Mommy says I have to put pyjamas on after my late bottle but I’m hoping she’s asleep and forgets to tell Daddy. Come on, every now and then a man… or a baby boy… needs a little freedom. It’s not like I want no-nappy time. Though that would be great too. Somehow I don’t think my Mommy will fall for that one.

So, if you don’t hear from me for a little while, you know why. I’m still sleeping after my exhausting day. Or I’m trying to commando crawl my way back to Gymbo!

Ooh.. I almost forgot…thank you to Luca’s Mum for telling my parents about the awesome Mothercare bibs. The coverage is perfect for my overexcited drooley self!!

It’s been a long week for us here at Noah’sTheBoss Central what with me turning 8 weeks old and getting my first immunization needles. I’ve also discovered that the girl that’s been hanging around me every day of my life is really nice. So nice in fact, that I’ve not wanted her to put me down much at all this week. I’ve even heard her say that I’ve been “clingy” and “cranky”. Whatever! I just know what I want and how to get it.

Because I thought that people might be hearing about this new “phase” I am going through, I wanted to remind you all that I can be cute and there are time when I do smile and giggle. It’s just that life’s rough right now and sometimes a little dude just wants a cuddle, some food and some sleep. Is that so bad?

Plus, I’ve been growing!! On my 8 week birthday or whatever it is called, I weighed in at 13lb 14.5oz! That’s right, almost a full stone of pure cuddliness to love. That takes it out of a guy! Just look at the way I barely fit into my moses basket!!

Monster Baby in Basket

I’m so big that my Mommy even had to cave in and let me sleep somewhere that I could thrash about safely until I passed out…

Sleepy Cheeks

And I’m not just growing in weight and height, you know. My personality is growing. I am smiling a lot more, and not because I have gas/wind or because my Mommy is being crazy again, but because I feel like it. In fact, sometimes I have to give thought to whether I am in the mood to…

Thinking about a smile

But most of the time I give in because I know I’ll get an even bigger one back…

Smiling Noah

Now I’ve got to go and have a cry to let my parents know I mean business about having a nap. So have a peep at me getting down to some MC Hammer and let’s hope she remembers how much I loved her when we’re in Toronto next week and I’m spreading my love around to everyone else!!


Can’t Touch What?! from Kirsty B on Vimeo.

and P.S: for those of you who noticed that I loved spending time with “Bubbles” my changemat, I am happy to announce that “Bubbles” has been retired to Post Bathing Naked Time only and I now get to be changed on this posh number ..

Noah on Changemat

It even has a pillow! So worthy of a definite reach out.. if only it could reach back.