Gymtastic Day!

Oh what a day!

When my Parents started getting everything in our house clean and tidy and picking up after themselves RIGHT AWAY, I knew that meant people were coming to the house. At first I was a bit nervous. I like when it is just me and my Parents because I get to be the boss. What if a new boss was coming? What if I had to do things I don’t like? Like… umm.. well I’m sure there are things I just can’t think now. Then I was worried because all I was wearing was a diaper. I got over that worry really quickly though. The thought of wearing clothes just isn’t appealing most of the time. When it is cold I don’t mind throwing something on.

Anyway, I was on my Mommy’s lap and I was eagerly looking out the window to see who would be arriving and you’ll never guess who it was!!! My friend Luca! He came along with his Parents to spend the day with us. I was so excited I couldn’t stop smiling. Even when Luca decided to pull a “Calleigh” on me and suck my fingers. Even when he tried to steal the bib off of my neck. Sure, I’m bigger, but I know who the boss is when Luca’s around… and it’s not me. But I don’t mind because he’s got silly parents and they make me laugh. Plus, it is nice to have another person my size… well sort of.. around.

The Boys

The boys again

Now, there was one strange thing. I couldn’t stop smiling. Something I haven’t done for a while. I mean I smile, but I’ve been a super grump. But today I was smiling more than Luca. And he’s always the happy one. But he’s got teeth on the move and he wasn’t happy about that. So, I knew just the thing to cheer him up … a spin in my Jumperoo!!!

Luca Jumperooing

It so worked. That thing will bring a smile to anyone’s face!!

After we played a bit, my Parents made me get dressed, and Luca got changed and we headed off to Gymboree!!! Once again there weren’t a lot of people. Actually, we were the only ones. It was great. We had all of the playmats, slides, wedges, monkey bars, and Gymbos to ourselves!!!

First we hung out with little Gymbo on that rolly polly half ball thing that I am not a fan of:
Gymbo and The Boys

Then we moved on to the big wedge that I rolled down when my Daddy first came with me to Gymboree. But we didn’t roll this time. Instead our Parents thought it would be nice to try and get us to crawl uphill. Yeah right.
Luca on the go

Noah swims uphill
I did my best to try and swim up it. It was as fruitful as their attempt to get me crawling.

After that we moved all over. My Mommy sat me on this GIANT ball and wobbled me about:
Noah on the big ball

Then I made a new friend in The Nipple Ball. It was a teething baby’s dream!!!!
Noah and the nipples

Knowing how Luca was feeling with the teeth, I invited him for a nibble!
Noah, Luca and the nipples

Then Luca’s Daddy blew bubbles all over the place. I was trying to take a nap but couldn’t help watching them, and Luca chilled out on another wedge taking in the display..
Bubble Boy

Luca’s Daddy seemed to like playing with everything there, because the next thing you know, he’s playing with a pop-up Gymbo all by himself:
Ricc and Gymbo

As I continued to look on, Luca and his Mummy made some music together with some jingley bells:
Noah and Sally

When we got home, my Daddy and Luca’s Daddy went outside and cooked some food… which they did not share with me. Other than an already eaten corn cob that they tried to pass to me. How rude. But Luca and I were so well behaved. We sat there and …okay.. Luca sat there in my highchair and played by himself and looked out the window and I jump jump jumped about in the Jumperoo. It was great.

But the day took its toll on me and as I was standing on my Daddy’s lap I decided that I was tired and just put my head down and fell asleep.
Noah and Daddy

It was a much needed sleep, but it meant I didn’t get to say goodbye to Luca properly and tell him how much fun I had! They can come back anytime!!!

After I woke up, I had my dinner and then it was time for bed… just after I had a shower and showed my Daddy that I’d only been tricking them this whole time by never sticking my tongue out. But I was deliriously happy that day and couldn’t hold back any longer…

The Tongue

What a good day it was…



You thought I was gone, but I’ve only just been in hiding. Actually, I’ve been everywhere but… aside from my post bath playtime where I play peek-a-boo with my towel. It cracks me up to no end!

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I’m here to explain where I’ve been and why I’ve been so quiet. Since I set the Noah Alarm off at the housewarming, I’ve been trying to become a changed man..or baby. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I’ve done a darn good job of it too. Okay, Okay.. there was this one slip up…

On the 31st of May, my friend Luca got baptised.

Luca All Catholosized

That’s right, I entered God’s House for the first time. I think it was a nice house, though I am not sure since I slept through pretty much the whole thing.

All Dressed Up For A Nap

There was a reason for this though. I was having a very off day. Someone had set the Noah Alarm to Snooze and not turned it off, so I cried a lot that day. Thinking back, I believe it was because my Mommy went and straightened her hair and I’d never seen her look that way before.

Mommy and Daddy

It was all quite confusing for a little guy like me and I just wasn’t sure what was going on. And the stimulation.. there was just too much. People people everywhere. Luca was loving all of the attention and didn’t cry once the whole day. I think it was because he had the coolest cake I’d ever seen.

Luca's Cake

Okay, so I’ve only seen one other one. Well at least I had only seen one other one until the next day.

Oh yes, I was travelling again the next day. Saturday was spent travelling to see my Nan and Granddad in Stratford-upon-Avon and to see Luca in a dress!

(here’s me with my grandparents in their backyard)

Me and the G'parents

Then on Sunday once I’d woken up feeling like a new man baby, we were off to Lewes (near Brighton) for a visit to another one of God’s houses. How many houses does one guy need? This one was way older… I think.. and we were there to see my new friend Amelie get Christened.

Amelie with parents and godparents

I have to admit something. Although I didn’t sleep through this one, I did miss most of it because the vicar (the dude with the cool beard) mentioned that there were toilets there and it reminded me that I needed to go.. so Daddy took me to the toilet and left Mommy there to represent the family.

When I was done, I was rewarded with my bottle…

Getting My Drink On

Oh yeah, that’s right. There’s almost nothing as great as chilling in a linen outfit (thanks Uncle Scotty, Auntie Heather and Calleigh), getting your drink on while looking at some stained glass windows.

While we waited for everyone to get ready to go back to Amelie’s house, my family took a walk around the church because my Mommy and Daddy thought it was really pretty.

Outside of the church

Excuse the milk in the corner of my mouth, my parents were too busy looking at the scenery to notice.

After the church part we all walked back to Amelie’s house where I proceeded to make a lot of use of her changetable…so much cooler than mine… and check out all of the other babies that were there. They were all nice and stuff, but it was Amelie that I liked best…

Holding Hands

Sorry Calleigh, but she didn’t try and suck my thumb. Oh, and isn’t related to me.

Mommy was really worried that I’d not have a good week after that, but she was wrong. I did have a rough night sleeping (I’d slept in the car the whole way there and whole way home…what did they want from me), but I woke up all mature.

I’ve been sleeping in my own room like a big boy. I’ve been trying my best to hold out for four hours between bottles. I’ve been having regular naps and I’ve not been setting off the Noah Alarm. At least not really. I let them know when I am getting tired now and Mommy can calm me down quickly. I love her.. she does what I want, when I want it. She’s great. Sucker!

What else have I been up to since then?

Well, I’ve been using my Bumbo and watching my property development shows..

Ty Pennington Watch Out!

I’ve been practising being a big boy by sitting in my high chair….

Yo. Gimme that bottle!

I know it is not that flattering a photo, but how rude! She put the bottle so far away from me!!!

I’ve also had my first food that didn’t come out of a bottle!!!

Baby Rice Tastes Nice

That’s right, I’m all about the baby rice. And anything else that I can stick in my mouth…

Mmm Monkey

This bottle stuff is for babies. I’m getting big now! I’m 14 weeks old and I’m 17lbs 7oz. I need steak, but Mommy thinks I’ve got to go slowly with this. I’m sure Kadie will sneak me something better when she gets here in August! If not her, I’m counting on The What Guy. You know who you are!

So that’s basically what I’ve been up to. There is one other thing, but that’s for the next post. I better run now, I’ve got to see a lady about some milk….


A Quarter Pounder

Three months old. THREE!! It’s true, I’m three months old today. A lot has happened in the past month and I am still recovering. I promised a post about my trip to Toronto, but my Mommy captured most of it in her blog entry today. If you want to read it, it is here:NAJB: Month 3 in Review

Since returning from my trip I’ve still been busy. Last weekend I got to hang out with my friend Luca again and went to a housewarming (where I showed everyone my new talent otherwise known as The Noah Alarm). I hadn’t seen Luca in a very long time and boy has he changed. He’s almost as big as me now!!!

His playmat is SO COOL!!! His Mommy put me down next to him and I could tell that my Mommy was worried because at home I start to get upset on the playmat these days, but after a few moments of taking everything in, I discovered the greatest thing about Luca’s playmat … it’s edible!!!

Ooh Tasty

But Luca caught me snacking on his stuff and was none to pleased with me…


So Luca decided to have my Mommy pass a message on to me. It went something like this:

Tongue Out

I wasn’t impressed and threw my hands up in the air wondering what the heck my Mommy was doing that to me for.

What Did I Do?!

Luca checked me out again to see if I got the message…

Checking it out

Seeing that I was grinning, he decided to get rid of the middle man and go for it himself, but I didn’t pay attention.

Tongue Two

In fact, I decided that since I was bigger I’d show him who the boss was, so I stood up to let him see who was bigger and stronger…

Standing Up to Luca

But just as I thought he was about to admit defeat, he pulled out the Big Guns! He stood up… without his Mommy or Daddy holding him.

Standing Luca

What?! How is that even possible?! Why don’t I have one of those things!?

I had no choice but to concede. In fact, the pain of losing was so strong that when we went to sleep at the housewarming party, I woke up in tears and Luca smugly slept away next to me.

You won this time, D’Ambrosio, but I’ll be back…and next time… well, next time I probably won’t remember this time.


All Work and No Play

After putting in such a sterling effort to re-fatten myself up, my Mommy rewarded me with a play date today. Okay, so I may be a little young for Hide’n’Seek or for Tag, but I am not too young to get to spend time looking at someone other than my Mommy all day long.

So this morning we woke up and got ready for Luca and his mummy, Sally, to come over. Last time they tried to introduce us I was rather rude and slept through the entire thing. This time I put in an effort to be a bit more sociable. A bit.

At first I was taken aback. Surely there aren’t other people my size in the world! Everyone else has seemed so… so… tall!!! But Luca lied down next to me.. on my favourite Chill Out spot on the sofa and let me know not to be scared.

Noah and Luca 26.3.08

Then we made the mommies happy and posed for some photos …

Noah and Luca 2

Then, Luca laid down the law. He let me know that just because I was bigger, he was still older and wasn’t going to take any poop from me! And to be honest, I believed him!!

Luca's Law

But I wasn’t going to sit there and not say anything back, so I did what came to my mind first…. I stuck out my tongue and made a fist to show that I also mean business… when I can be bothered.

Noah Strikes Back

After we agreed that we knew where we both stood, we chilled out and decided to teach each other our local gang signs…

Flashing Signs

Then I fell asleep. And we ate and slept some more and cried a bit too. All in all, it was a great day and I can’t wait to see my friend, Luca, again!!


Babe, I’m here again

I tell you I’m here again …. Where have you been?

So just the other night I wrote that I would be getting back on my hobby-horse and updating this thing.  It shouldn’t be that hard really should it?  I mean if you talk to me, then you know I have no problem running my mouth for hours and hours.  And then I still have breath left over for some more.   I guess it is just that as things start to seem better in the day to day running of my life, my body and brain are just too exhausted.  The happy on the outside thing takes a lot of work.  Even the moments where I am genuinely happy!  But I am getting better, not that it hurts any less or that I miss my father even the tiniest amount less than I did the day I found out.  In fact, I miss him more every day. But this is a battle within myself that I have to win because I’ve got other people around who need me to stay, at least relatively, sane.

Anyway, pack that away before I start to cry!

I have started to upload more photos to the photo sites, just like I promised *coughcough*last year*coughcough*.  This process is not a quick one, so I shall offer you samples of what have been added, what are awaiting approval and what is next!

Firstly, Steph’s stagette! I did it Steph! It only took me 6 and 1/2 months!  My excuse is that I didn’t want to remind you of your single life so soon after you gave it up. =)

Kirsty and Steph

Then I’ve skipped right over Christmas (hey, I didn’t say there was any logic to the order here!) and Dublin is going up. Expect there to be the usual photos of Lee and I: eating, drinking, sitting in airports and generally being idiots!  Doesn’t matter whether we are at home or in a foreign land, we are who we are and that’s quite alright by us!

P.S: Warning Cath, I am about to show a food photo that will be even uglier to you than the “pasta with the gross sauce”.

To start our day the right way we headed down Grafton Street in search for a proper Irish Breakfast!  We found a perfect little pub called Davey Byrnes which served us up a tasty and filling breakfast – hold the white pudding (as I was too scared of that… later finding out it is not as nasty as black pudding which I love).

Irish Tummies Were Smiling!

Ooh look at this!  I’ve just found this on “The Google”: Just off Grafton Street, Davy Byrnes is one of Dublin’s most famous pubs – references in Joyce’s Ulysses mean it is very much on the tourist circuit. Despite all this fame it remains a genuine, well-run place and equally popular with Dubliners, who find it a handy meeting place.  How weird, we had no clue!  Usually before we go somewhere I do a lot of research on where to eat, what to see, etc.  This time I had tunnel vision and all I wanted was a Pint of Plain.  Or two.  Or three.

And well, not that I doubted this victory for a moment, I got what I wanted.  Aaaahhhh, Guinness straight from the source.

Lee, Me and 2 pints of Guinness

Please feel free to comment on the frizz upon my head.  It only got worse as the weekend went by.  Limited hair products thanks to the Clear Plastic Baggie in Your Carry On  rule plus Dublin’s cold rain left me looking worse for wear over the entire weekend.  I’m please to report that I look MUCH hotter right now as I sit here typing thing in my pyjamas with a mini afro.  Take my word for it, a photo would be far too much stimulation for you!

Lee however, he looked hot.  I am talking PHWOAR hot too, not sauna hot.  He even did his hair all special for this trip and I think it suited him well!

The Fonz - Irish Clown Style

And the obligatory – Shot in the Departures Lounge.  Because I know when I die I will become famous for having the most photos taken beyond airport security.  It’s something I aspire to and I am sure will make our future children honoured to have us as parents.

So here is Lee, ready to get back to England and back to work!

The Excitement Has Overcome Him

As with most things in my life, I have done this out of order.  Sure the Stagette came before the trip to Dublin, but the trip to Toronto did too!  They are the next photos to go up and as they are all about family, they will appear on the family page rather than the “Away” page.   That tidbit of information was for those of you on the edge of your seat wanting to know all about the method being my photo archiving madness.  If you post me the equivalent of £9.99 each, you will get full access to jumbled mess that is my brain and the randomness it often spews out through my mouth.

So, yes, we went to Toronto and it was great.  And I’ve just realised that I’ve said all of this in the last post.  But it was and we did have a really good but exhausting time.  Lee saw his first NHL game, and for me it was a great one! The Canucks kicked butt and didn’t even bother taking names.  The Leafs were messy, they had no fight in them and they definitely had no desire to shoot the puck.  But I digress as I have no photos to show of this, seeing as I was too busy drinking.

I do however have photos of my family, and Superman.  That’s right – Superman.  Bet you didn’t know that I know him! However to see his photos you will have to wait for them to appear online as it looks like I made different ones in the size required to fit on this page without spilling over the edge.

First we have the people who appear to be normal…. but are they really?

Momma and Luke

Well looks like ONE was… and shockingly it was my Mom.  Luke was easily swept over to the dark side by Cath and Lee though.

Lee's New Family

I love this photo.  It is like a wholesome family advertisement for … Jelly Tots.

To tie it up – all this and more will be coming your way.. and soon!


WELCOME 2007!!!!

2006 is finally over and I must say that I am not too sad to see it gone. As horrible as it was to us (minus the whole getting married bit), we gave it a proper send off complete with a special performance from The King himself.

While I de-hangover myself, enjoy a snipet of Elvis singing to Princess Leia. More photos will follow…and words too!!!


The Reviews Are In…

… 2006 was Good and it was SHIT.

It was one of the best years of my life and then it turned in to the worst year of my life. Along the way I stopped updating and some events that deserved celebrating were left on the shelf, waiting for me to return to. It is nearly the end of the year and I haven’t quite gotten to them yet. As a bit of reminder to myself and to those that are perhaps waiting for the posts that discuss these events, I shall post a few photos, and when I return from Toronto in January (actually probably when we return from Dublin the week after the Toronto trip) I will get on with getting on. At least where this thing is concerned. Put your cursor over the photo for a little description.

In June I failed to write about Steph’s Shower. I also never posted about her stagette and once I get the photo’s from Lee’s computer I will be able to post a sample of that (if she even wants to be reminded of it!).

Stephanie the Bride to Be

On Canada Day, 1 July 2006, my teeny weeny baby brother went and did something that should make me realise he is all growed up, but I refuse: He went and got married! Here is a shot of Scott and Heather at the reception:

Scott and Heather

Found Steph’s Stagette photos! -> Also in JULY!

Enough Said!

August was the month that started off as AMAZING and ended completely numb. There was the trip to Vegas, other good stuff, my Mom’s 50th, losing my Dad and Randy’s Birthday.

Paris .... Las Vegas

Astaphan's Come Together

Rnady and Jamie Blow Out the Candles
September saw Jamie turn 32, October was Halloween and somewhere in there, Luke started catching up to his big brother and stopped being the little baby I saw in August!

Adam and Luke

November was the month that Steve and Rosie entered married life with a BANG, or fifty … being married on Guy Fawkes and all.

The Parsons!

And well, it is December now and I have been trying to keep up.. sort of.. to date. There have been some days where the last thing on my mind is being connected to reality, never mind the online world and there are days when I think I might just be doing well. It’s been a case of one step forward, two steps back with me and I am hoping (as I am sure Lee is) that 2007 will bring me the strength and understanding I need to get through. Oh and it would be nice if the New Year also brought me some anti-jump down your throatedness. See, I don’t always think of myself. I think of Lee too. 🙂


This is the end of the innocence

When we planned to get married in St.Kitts we did it know full well that there would be a lot of people who wouldn’t be able to make it. Unfortunately for Lee, most of the people that didn’t come were his friends. To try and make up for this fact and to give these people a chance to celebrate with us, we threw a Post Wedding Weekend. We rented what used to be the General Stores in Mitcheldean, Gloucestershire. A very old property that had been converted into a … well… that depends on what you read into things. At first glance it would appear to be a posh cottage, but on closer inspection you may find it to be a swingers weekend house.

What made us think that? Wipe clean pillow in every room, the pantyhose doll in our room that came complete with breasts and pearled “lady garden”. The spikey pillow, the gimp cupboard, the Absolut Fetish placemats, the vinyl material EVERYWHERE, even in the Barn which is supposed to be a children’s playroom.

Oh well, it was amusing.

So… it was supposed to be a big celebration of our marriage.

What is ended up being was Lee’s belated Stag Do…..

….a very gay one at that.



I would like to give into evidence Exhibit A: Lee and Ben get Cuddly
Sure they were once boss and subordinate, but something leads me to believe the master and servant relationship never truly ended when they left their positions at Easynet. Easy something.

Next, Exhibit B: Lee says Hello to Gaz.
In a way that would make even the most openminded of people wonder. Luckily Gaz’s face is blurred as I do not believe he is as Brokeback as the man attacking him from behind. Yes, that man is a newlywed. Where he took a wife. Or a faghag as you may want to call me.

Exhibit C: Innocent men in a hottub. Or is it…..
brokeback hottub

Exhibit D: I didn’t bloody well think so. Try and tell me you are not gay now, Buddy. It is right there in black and white and red and underpants and flesh and tooooo much flesh…..
brokeback II

Eventually all of the excitement wore him out. To the point where he couldn’t feel anything happening to him. There were moments I was tempted to stick his pinky finger in some water and let us all watch him wee himself, however being newly married to the guy I decided to let his brother and friends decorate him with tortilla chips and hummous and Scrabble pieces spelling “twat”. Hey…it is what it is. (unfortuantely for some reason photobucket does not like the twat picture. sheesh)
lee sleeps

And in the morning I decided to get the hell out of there… or at least to go buy some Frosted Flakes and milk.

outta there

When Lee leaves me for someone of the opposite gender (opposite of mine!!), let me be the first to say.. I Told Me So!

Could have been three or four six-packs,
I don’t know, but look at the mess I’m in.

Friday night.. (no rest for the wicked).. those who couldn’t make it on Thursday and some of those who could, all assembled at the Bier Markt on the Esplanade in downtown T.O.

Yes, that is the spelling, I am not “ecstatic”.

Anyway, I had advised everyone that I wanted it low key. I didn’t want to do the embarrasing t-shirt signing or getting absolutely stinking polluted that seems to happen with most stagette/hen do nights out.

Everyone seemed to be going along with the idea. Well for the most part. There was the whole necklace of PENISES and the dreaded shirt. Where in the hell are you going to find someone named Nelson?! But I was determined to retain my dignity.

I mean… how hard was it going to be to do that?

body shot

Okay a slight slip up….. but I was soon back on track and enjoying the company (and ever more presents.. crotchless panties and ligerie ahoy! Oooh and the book of orgasms that went down a treat with everyone -> Will especially)


Damnit. Alright, perhaps this dignity thing was a little harder to pull off than I imagined. But what is a girl to do? The beer was flowing, the shots kept coming and I couldn’t well refuse could I?

The most important thing was that people we happy. I think that at no point was there not someone without a ridiculously huge smile on their faces, as evident in the Defence Exhibits 1 and 2:

Please witness the true undeniable joy across the face of Josh. Perhaps Anne looks stunned, but she has to live with that mug.
josh and anne

Now bring your attention to the Girls from the Guild. Rhiann, Steph (the lovely maid of honour), Moi (the lovely guest of honour) and Krista.. otherwise known as Johhhhnnnnnnnnnay!
the girls

I don’t know about you, but those look like some happy people to me.

Some of the attendees leeft early, and others left drunk. Then there were the remaining three of us: Pennie, Reems and myself….
reems me pen

… who carried on next door, met a young man about to set off to Australia and enjoyed some fine wings, nachos and potato skins before rolling home at 3:45am.

What a good night.

Thanks for the memories girlies… and Will and Josh.

…but the fire is so delightful…
…since we’ve no place to go…
Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

Okay. Two things not so true about those lyrics.
A: There was no fire
B: We did have some place to go.

My loving mother and my super duper maid of honour decided they would be ever so kind and throw a Bridal Shower for me. They put their heads together and realised that since it was so close to Christmas, a Thursday might see more people turn out as they tried to avoid work Christmas parties.

Steph went to work desiging the super cute invites and my mother booked the party room and prepared for games to be played and presents to be dished out.

That was when they were smooth sailing. The only time they were.

Invites got returned, invites got held up in the mail, people starting RSVPing that Thursday was Christmas Party day for them. Some even had exams.

At the last minute (well week and a bit before) the location was changed as the numbers dwindled. It was decided that we would all meet up at Katsura (a Japanese restaurant at the Westin Prince Hotel in Toronto) and have one of those screened off rooms to ourselves.

As the day neared, weather reports claimed that there would be BUCKETS of snow thrown down on the city. We hoped against hope that this would not be. As I said.. we hoped against hope:
snow drive

We expected everyone to cancel, but only my brother’s fiancee couldn’t make it, as she had a job interview the next day and needed to be sure she could make it back on time.

So the 8 of us that could make it out on the blizzardy Thursday night, assembled at the restaurant. Conversation flowed and laughter ensued. That is until we went to order. The first person attempted to order the terriyaki filet mignon, only to be told “sorry no steak tonight grill no work”. Chicken it is! was the reply to follow, only to be told “sorry no chicken either. no chicken or steak”.

Umm what? We’re in a pricey ass place and they are going to tell us an hour after we sat down that there couldn’t be any steak or chicken!? Nothing that required a grill. After words with the waitress and then the manager, our food was ordered and games got under way. They were slightly gay (as shower games are) but quite funny games. We learned a lot about Lee, and even I didn’t get all of the answers right. Who knew he aspired to be: Captain Flatulence?

Cake was eaten:


Pressies were opened and passed around (and I got SO many and LOVED them LOVED them LOVED them!!! Thank you!!!!):

sue looking at pressies
And we all headed back out to our cars to face the dreaded snowy ride home.