When she sits around the house….

Let’s start this post out with a photo.


There's Only One In There!



It would appear that my lack of updating on this baby has resulted in a seed of jealously growing inside my belly right next to that baby that I don’t want to call Hamster.  Especially when, let’s face it, it looks likes I’m housing a full grown wooly mammoth rather than a tiny furry rodent.  My efforts to mask this pregnancy worse than any sitcom with their big purses and standing-behind-the-sofa shots has spurred this baby on to turn it’s bachelor pad into a Beyonce and Jay-Z sized nursery.  That’s right, there’s currently 2200 sq ft of baby house going on under that sweater.

At least it feels like it.  And it certainly looks like it.

I mean, let’s roll the clock back 4 years to when I was 19+4 with Noah.

BoB on Board


That is exactly one week more pregnant than I am in the photo by the falls this time around. There is a slight difference. And by slight, I’m talking an entire litter different.

I do not have an 18 week photo handy of Amy/Cheese.  However, I do have this:

Big Cheese

That is a full 7 weeks later with Amy than I am now.  And the belly is approximately the same size.

What the what?

I’d like to say it is all down to 3rd baby = slack muscles.  Or even better .. the difference between H&M Mama maternity jeans and Motherhood Maternity jeans, but I can’t.  Well I kind of can.  H&M were so much better.  Comfier, better fit, snugger on the bump.  I mean really? Pantyhose like material as the secret bump cover?  Who even thought that was a good idea?!?!

All I know is that I’ve gone from being convinced that there is a bouncing baby boy growing in there, to hoping the ultrasound on Friday uncovers a hidden twin or triplet.

That and I really shouldn’t wear grey and no lipstick.  The washed out lips almost distract from the watermelon in my sweater.


Trick or Treat?

It’s a good thing that I don’t get paid to write this thing, huh?  I mean, who disappears for nearly three months without a word.  Well, other than the words I’ve written on Twitter or Facebook.  Or BBM and texts and emails.  But yeah, barely a word.

Well, if you are moving to a new continent (not new to me… but new to live for Lee and the midgets) and then doing the look for a job, a house and car thing, then you sprinkle a bit of stressing over when the hell your stuff from Point A is going to arrive in Point B … you might slack in other areas too.

Especially if when you arrive you start feeling ill.

For the first weeks we were here, all I basically said was: I’m freezing! Am I getting a cold? Is that an earache coming on? Fuckity Fuck Fuck.. we have no doctor.. I can’t be sick!!  Ugh, my stomach hurts.   I need to sleep.  My back. My ovary.  I think I’m going to be sick!!

Then I peed on a stick.  I mean there was no way right?  I mean there is a way.  But chances were super-duper-practically-totally impossible.  Only, less than 2 minutes later I was met with THIS:

yes plus


YES +?!  + what?!  Plus a new car? Plus more babies?!   A simple YES would have been cool.  Though, to be honest, a NO would have also been most excellent.

So I tried to do the math.  Only one date fit and it still made no sense.  But there wasn’t any other possibility.  Unless out of nowhere I’ve developed a crazy sleepwalking habit where I slang my wares to random strangers in my sleep.  Only I think someone would have noticed.  I HOPE someone would have noticed.

With our shaky history, we didn’t want to say much.   Plus we were just about to take on a huge mortgage and having started basically from scratch when we got here, the reality of adding an extra mouth to feed and diaper was and remains TERRIFYING.  And that economic car that we bought with the astronomical insurance because I am ‘new’ … in the land where I got my license …  it doesn’t fit three car seats.

So we kept it pretty quiet.  I didn’t even get any medical personnel involved until last week, when I went to my first midwife appointment.  There we discussed the fact that stomach was out of control and I couldn’t believe how much it had grown for only 9 weeks.  So I got sent to have a dating scan to make sure that there was only one and that nothing was going crazy up in there.

It’s so not like in England.  I had to go to a generic lab where they were doing x-rays and ultrasounds for a variety of things.  They don’t have the flat screens for you to watch and they don’t tell you what they are doing as they click away on their keyboard right next to you.   Luckily for me I got a chatty technician and after she was done the official stuff, she gave me a look at all the vital parts and I made a comment about that looking more baby like than I thought 10 weeks would be and she came back with …

That baby isn’t 10 weeks.  That baby is 14 weeks.

Plus One Chillaxing

Say what?




I couldn’t figure out the math or how on earth that was possible.  I still can’t get over how it is.. but it is.

And holy shit! I have a whole less month to prepare.  This is crazy.  I am crazy.  I need time to spread out the crazy.

I sat up like a bolt of lightning. But I got drunk! Like stinking drunk! She said what was done was done and the baby looks fine and healthy.  Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t decide to start shooting up as my last hurrah before leaving England.

So I walked out of the appointment yesterday on a cloud.  A cloud made of crack.  YAY no twins!  But where’d I lose a month!?  Why the hell am I still SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nauseous?!!?  Am I going to fit into the seats at the ACC on the 17th of December when my presence is required to cheer on my Canucks when they skate into town?  And what kind of car fits three car seats, that isn’t a minivan?!  Does it exist?!

That last one was serious.  Does it exist?!

So here, for all of the Internet to see is the tiny person we’ve been calling +1.  Though Noah has put in a demand to change his/her name to Hamster.

Hamster Brotherston.

Bebe Frontin

I know. That shot makes the baby look like a Mii. S/he has their Halloween costume already!

This one make me worry about the stomach to butt ratio.

Babys Got Back

That is one tiny bum! Perhaps this baby will finally inherit the long leg, normal thigh, non-J-Lo butt combo that has escaped the other two!

I guess we’ll see in April!

Sundays were the best days when I was growing up.  Not that I enjoyed church.  Especially in the Caribbean with no breeze coming through the window and everyone trying to fan themselves, and instead creating a very special, one of kind aromatic experience.    And not because it was Eat At Grandmom’s House day, though it was and I always loved that kind of day.   I loved Sundays because it was a definite Beach Day!  Frigate Bay, Banana Bay, Half Moon Bay … wherever! Playing in the waves, swimming, splashing, attempting to body surf, jumping the waves, eating soggy Pringles and drinking warm Coke out of hot glass bottles.  LOVED it.

What I didn’t love so much, was the mandatory hose down in the front yard afterwards.  No one lived behind our house or on either side of us, so you’d think that those options would be more suitable.  But no, it was always in the front where my Dad swore no one could see (oh they could, and those than couldn’t heard about it in school the next day).

Now that I am not naked in public with 3 perfectly fine showers inside of the house mere feet away from the puddle of embarrassment and sand I was stood in, I look back on those Hose Offs and laugh.

Unfortunately we live no where near a beach.  And in fact, this summer has been far more Autumnal than sunshine and swimming pools.  This has not given me much opportunity to create memories that will shame and embarrass the midgets while providing me with laughter.   I am failing as a parent.  Or I was until this afternoon.  The sun came out – too late to fill the inflatable pool – so I whipped the play sinks out of the shed and filled them up with water which was then carried back and forth and thrown on each other.  When the sinks were empty and their bums were covered in grass, I offered to hose them off.  They are smart.  They turned me down without a moment’s deliberation.

But they are not too smart, because they didn’t mind the offer of a bath; with no water.


1 Aug 2011


ME: 1 – Midgets 0!!!


Around and Down

We’ve waited months.

5 Months and 2 days to be exact is how long we’ve waited for Noah and Amy to interact in more than just a “ooh what is that guy doing?” “ooh, can I pull his hair?” “aww let me squeeze the last breath out of this baby” “does she cry if I slap her head while she is asleep?” way. Last night, we got it.

Oh did we ever get it. And I recorded it all. Sometimes when I take videos of them it is pretty much a waste of space on the memory card. Noah sees the camera and stops what he is doing and starts letting the neighbours, bordering counties and the authorities know that HE wants the camera NOW. Not really how I want to look back at them when we’re old and completely grey.

Not last night. Last night was pure Noah and his Three Stooges Style Comedy Genius and his little sister Amy was LOVING it!

On Thursday I told Lee that if there was ever a day I questioned why I became a mother, that was it.

On Friday, they reminded me why. I am filled to bursting with love for them. So much so that sometimes it hurts and I confuse it for having eaten something bad the night before.

Round and Round the Mulberry Bush from Kirsty B on Vimeo.


A Picture Says 1000 Words

Maybe not quite 1000, but this picture sums up the lives of Noah and Amy now and until they no longer speak to me or have their own children who think the same way they do now…

Family -1 Photo

Amy to Noah: Dude, is she always like this?

Noah to Amy: Just wait. You haven’t seen anything yet….


NAJB: Month 15 in Review

15 Months of Silly

15 Months of Silly

You’ve made it to 15 months as an only child! There were days along the way in the past few weeks that we were not sure it would happen, but it has. I’m not sure that it means as much to you, but I have really enjoyed our past month together. Even if you decided to bring The Sick back and we decided to suffer at the same time.. with different ailments.. but we suffered. That part of the month, let’s not repeat.

Running Low On Steam

Running Low On Steam

The rest of it we can though! Even the parts where you’ve decided that your best friend in the entire world is your Daddy. It started at the end of last month and trust me, this month was full of those moments/hours/days/weeks. It would appear that you only really need me now when it comes to bathing and sleeping. Otherwise, you’ve become a dude’s dude and sure it is okay if I’m there too, but you don’t really need your Mommy hanging around.

Just the Two of Us - I

Just the Two of Us - I

Even if you do not need me around, I have loved watching how you follow your Daddy all over the backyard. How you call out for his attention with your finger gestures, just so he’ll look at you and you can bust a dance move or run to him with your eyes closed as you laugh so hard to yourself because of course you ARE the funniest person who has ever lived (that you get from me).

Run Forest Run

Run Forest Run

In fact, you’ve developed quite a few talents this month; spinning around in circles while stood up .. or whilst sat on your bum, trying so hard and getting so close to mimicking dance moves you see on television (Boogie Beebies is one of your favourite shows now), mastering the art of fork feeding, sleeping in a big boy bed with no bed rail, climbing up everything you see .. and most recently you’ve become addicted to participating along with my singing Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes. At first everything was your head, but you are learning and now you bend over and go straight for the toes. It makes me jealous because bending over is not something I can do easily these days!

Head and Shoulders...
Head and Shoulders…

Knees and Toes
Knees and Toes…

In fact, nothing has been easy to do the past couple of weeks and you seem to have sensed that and become even more independent than you were last month. Sure, you will try to get me to do everything, but you do give in easily and carry on your merry way and do it yourself. But you always come back for a quick cuddle to make sure that I know you still need me and maybe to check that I do need you too. Which is a given. A person can’t have someone like you come into their life and ever stop needing them. Your laugh is infectious, your smile is contagious and when your heart breaks with each tear you cry, you break my heart too. And when you sit there innocently doing something simple like eating a banana or your corn on the cob, or spinning the wheels of some toy, stroller or cart, I just want to scoop you up and cover you in kisses.

Banana Man
A Boy and His Banana

I’ve almost willed this month not to end. Not just because I am terrified about the arrival of your little brother or sister, but it has taken us so long to get here, that I am afraid of what is going to happen when your whole world is turned upside down and we don’t get to spend as much “us” time together as you are used to. I’m crossing my fingers that this baby will let us have our morning naps together at least because I really want there to be time each day where you get your Mommy all to yourself. We’ve tried hard to prepare you for the arrival, but I know you are still just a little dude as grown up as you seem, so now I need to remind myself to be patient with you and be understanding if you don’t just accept this change with open arms. You’ve worked so hard to get where you are now and it is all about to get flipped over on its head. I’ve asked a lot of you in the 15 months you’ve been around, and I’m asking once again to bear with me. This is new territory for us all.

Upside Down
Your World Flipped Upside Down

I promise, in 15 months I will not be telling you that you have to prepare for yet another sibling’s arrival. And if I do tell you that .. then look around for hidden television cameras, because one of us will just have been Punk’d. You have no idea what that means, but I am sure that it will be back on tv in syndication eventually and you will finally be filled in on the joke.

Thank you for yet another amazing month. Watching you grow up has become the greatest pastime a person could have. Though perhaps, it’d be even better without fevers or teething and those not so solid diapers you give us now and again. Month 16 is going to be a crazy one for all of us, but I promise you that I am going to love you even more next month than I have in any of the past ones and that you will still get as many cuddles as you need. Plus, your other best friend Zed is coming in a couple of days and bringing the one that feeds you anything you want (Kadie). You’re set! In fact, come to think of it, I hope you remember who I am by the end of next month!

My Happy Chapy
The Happiest Little Boy Ever

Happy Fifteen Months, GrumpyPumps!!!
Mommy Loves You!!


Bonding Boys

Today I witnessed one of the sweetest things that my eyes have ever seen in my life.

Lee went out to mow the lawn and I being the responsible parent that I am .. fell asleep on the sofa once I’d convinced Noah that the lawn mower wasn’t going to randomly attack him.

I woke up at one point when Lee had the Weed Whacker out (though they call it a strimmer here) and Noah decided to run into the house and come sit in the relative safety of the living room where we could spy on what was going on outside but being far enough away avoid any horror movie re-enactments.

Once again I told him it was okay and he slowly made his way to the door and then out to the deck where he yelled at Lee to get his attention. I drifted asleep for a couple of minutes and woke up to see Noah sat on Lee’s lap with his arms wrapped around his daddy’s neck and his head on the shoulder.

I watched this for a long time and struggled to get off of the sofa without being noticed. I just HAD to capture this moment on camera. Slowly, I got the camera out, made it across the floor to the door and zoomed in without being noticed. Unfortunately, the loving cuddles had just ended and Noah appeared to want to tell Lee something. That, I captured:

Daddy, I have something to tell you..

Daddy, I have something to tell you..

And I also captured what he wanted to share with his daddy:

How do you like THEM apples?

How do you like THEM apples?

That’s my son. All about sharing the love. How proud am I to have raised such a loving … flashing… soul?

…will not be presented to me. At least not by the upstanding members of my neighbourhood who got to see a whole new side to Noah today.

I was in the kitchen making dinner and had left Noah sitting on the sofa watching CBeebies (like Treehouse for the North Americans). He was tired, so he was chilling out against a pillow and had his soother in. Occasionally he would strain and peek out of the window and then look back at the tv.

Now he wasn’t making much noise at all, but when things went spookily silent I decided that I should investigate what he was up to.

When I arrived in the living room I saw that a bag had been knocked over and a pillow was pinning the curtain to the sofa. From this photo you can see where he actually is, but in person you couldn’t. It looked like he was sitting on the cushion looking out of the window.


So I snuck around the corner to get a shot and suffice it to say, I was the one who was left in shock as I saw my half dressed 14.5 month old dancing in the front window for everyone to see.

Peek a Boo

Just how many people passed by that window and wondered to themselves .oO(where is that child’s mother?) Obviously Noah just took the saying “dance like no one is watching” literally.

And to think people worried when we made the Bucket Babysitter™.