Please do not come here thinking that I am going to teach you how to make the best birthday cake ever. Please do not mistake yourself by thinking that I am the new Duff and I will be the Queen of Cakes. In fact, I’m more the Joker.

But as Luca and Noah’s 2nd birthday party creeps up on us, I am determined to make them a cake from scratch. The problem here? I’ve never made a cake from scratch before, let alone shape one or decorate it. I’ve never coloured icing, or rolled it out or attempted to cover said shaped cake with this fragile confectionery product.

With my Logic Advisor by my side, however, I managed to pull off something alright. The cake itself – AWESOME. Even after the panic that the batter looked like scrambled eggs or dough. Even after the panic that the dough smelled of bacon. Even after my serious lacking in scissor skills showed itself and the Logic Advisor was called in to rescue my pathetic attempt at a circle. The cakes – that’s right .. PLURAL – made their way into the oven and came out tasting like someone who knew what they were doing had been at the helm.

Baked Cakes

Bakes Cakes

While the cakes baked, I have the also completely foreign task of kneading icing and then colouring it – we were going for Numberjack 2 Orange. Let me start by saying that I attempted to “colour” some of the cookies I made at Christmas. Instead of being red or even pink, they came out looking like they were simply overcooked. So to turn something orange was a feat I took on with little hope and great fear. For a while there I thought that I was going to end up with a tie-dye iced cake. But perseverance and encouragement from the Logic Advisor led to a suitably orange product. Not the blinding orange I was after, but something I was content with.

Orange Icing - not Velveeta

Orange Icing - not Velveeta

From a honking ball of dough, I somehow needed a nice and thin sheet to drape over the cakes. This took me a while to master as I didn’t have the perfect surface space to work with and my rolling pin was a £1 Tesco special that would stick to Teflon. However, I rolled and rolled and scrunched it all up and rerolled and it came out looking quite alright, if I do say so myself.

The thinnification of icing

The thinnification of icing

Unfortunately at this juncture, the Logic Advisor and myself were faced with two unexpected and unhelpful obstacles in the shape of midgets. It should have been obvious that things were running too smoothly and something had to happen to throw us off piste.

So as we settled the littlest midget and got her back to sleep, we decided to allow the larger to sit in the kitchen while we attempted to finish the practice cake. With the assistance of the stencil the Logic Advisor roughly sketched, it came time to shape the cakes. Now I don’t even like cutting the cake at a birthday party and didn’t enjoy the cutting of the cake at our wedding because when it comes to precision hand eye coordination, I am not ashamed to say, I completely lack this skill. But with the guidance of the stencil and the Logic Advisor easing my fears, I managed to produce a rough 2 shape (in the photo it is ‘painted’ with jam to help adhere icing).

Two into 2

Two into 2

With the time delay, the icing was no longer a willing participant in this project and my once pliable friend was starting to stick and tear and crack. So I just threw it over to see if without my obstacles, might I be able to pull this off.

At very least...its a two and tasty!

At very least...it's a two and tasty!

Yes, it looks messy and some horrible patch jobs show, but it was 20 past 12 on a school night and I just wanted my bed. I do believe that I could do it nicely on the real go round, however I cannot wrap my head around how sweet the icing is, so am debating doing more of a buttercream frosting instead.

Now, I feel I must go and eat some cake scraps. Holy tasty cake!

It’s the height of Silly Season in St.Kitts: Election Day today. The accusations of cheating, withholding voter lists, non Nationals trying to vote etc are thick as molasses. You would be loving it.

This election, there is a website where you can get updates about what is happening in each constituency automatically as they come in. I keep checking it and thinking about what you would be saying about each one I read.

Although I miss you every day, it is on silly days like today where I can hear you, see you, and just know how much you would be into this… and changing your mind hourly, that I miss you most.

Six years ago we went to a Labour Rally in Conaree and passed by Constituency 2’s office each evening to say hello and for you to chat, chat, chat about what was going on and what was going to happen and what you hoped the government would do for your country. I loved every moment of it, because you were the true you; proud, friendly, engrossed, engaged, involved, passionate and loving everything about your country for exactly what it was and everything it gave you.

Times spent with you like that make it okay that I don’t have a lot of videos of you or that you never really looked happy in most photos, because the memories are as clear and vivid as the red of our shirts.

I miss you so much, Daddy. Though today I will accept that you are probably missing silly season more than you are missing me.

Red til I dead

Welcome 2010. I am very happy to see you. Already I feel like it will be a good year. At least better than the last.

ET Phone Home

Don’t get me wrong. 2009 was not ALL bad. Amy came into our lives and that has been a wonderful* thing. But in general it was pretty much a ‘meh’ year. A roller coaster ride that made me more nauseous than filled with adrenaline and fear and exhilaration. A noose of stress seemed to linger round our necks for most of it and the lack of sleep didn’t help to pretty us up.

I don’t generally make New Year resolutions, because who actually keeps them and how different are they then the promises people make themselves throughout the year? But I do promise to actually update the blogs. And even throw in some older entries that should have been added ages ago.

There will be a change. I fully intended to give Noah and Amy their own monthly review, but as you know, this fell apart in a spectacular fashion. It pains me to not have kept on top of it because I have serious issues about giving Amy a 2nd Child complex. But years of perfecting procrastination skills mixed with exhaustion levels of untold proportions have created a cocktail that has turned my brain into something resembling maggot cheese (feel free to Google it or just imagine). With only 7 to 8 days between “monthdays” as well, it is a lot to put together in such a short space of time, so I am going with the monthly thing! That way I can guarantee they both get an update each month and it means going through less of the thousands of photos I take every month to choose the good ones. And I am pretty sure that there will be more going in in the months to actually update about non-mommyhood stuff too. I think. I hope.

But if not, it is only because that is who I am. Last night was the first night in 22 months where I felt like a person separate of anyone else. I wasn’t just a mother. It was weird, but it was great. And as short as that liberation was, when Amy awoke hacking up a lung and hoping that we’d left some Moet for her, I was thrilled to see my baby girl and her ear to ear smile. Though I was even happier that Noah stayed in his room until 5.25am when he climbed into our bed and snuggled up with me and fell asleep holding my hand.

It may be exhausting, confusing, frustrating and stressful, but I love these midgets of mine. It might seem a normal thing for a parent to say, but considering there were days when I was convinced I didn’t even like them, never mind love them, it fills my heart with joy to know that I’ve made it through to the other side. Even if that other side means stepping on Hot Wheels and having someone spit up between my toes, wipe their nose on my shirt, wake me up 5 times a night for a snack, cry because I dare touch the other one, etc.

So bring on 2010 and the adventures that shall come with it. With a break every now and then to remind myself that I am still me underneath this Mommy costume, I look forward to what is ahead of us and experiencing it all as a family of four.

That’s right. I’m not giving birth this year. 2010 is looking better with each minute that passes!!!

Our NYE in Pictures:

Clementines and Party Hats

Clementines and Party Hats

Two Crazy Midgets

Two Crazy Midgets

Amy DOES Have a Mother!

Amy DOES Have a Mother!

Midget and Mommy Madness

Midget and Mommy Madness

Happy New Year!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!

Sweet Sweet Champagne How I Love Thee

Sweet Sweet Champagne How I Love Thee

May 2010 continue to be as wonderful as it started for me, for us and for all of you! Happy New Year!

We’ve waited months.

5 Months and 2 days to be exact is how long we’ve waited for Noah and Amy to interact in more than just a “ooh what is that guy doing?” “ooh, can I pull his hair?” “aww let me squeeze the last breath out of this baby” “does she cry if I slap her head while she is asleep?” way. Last night, we got it.

Oh did we ever get it. And I recorded it all. Sometimes when I take videos of them it is pretty much a waste of space on the memory card. Noah sees the camera and stops what he is doing and starts letting the neighbours, bordering counties and the authorities know that HE wants the camera NOW. Not really how I want to look back at them when we’re old and completely grey.

Not last night. Last night was pure Noah and his Three Stooges Style Comedy Genius and his little sister Amy was LOVING it!

On Thursday I told Lee that if there was ever a day I questioned why I became a mother, that was it.

On Friday, they reminded me why. I am filled to bursting with love for them. So much so that sometimes it hurts and I confuse it for having eaten something bad the night before.

Round and Round the Mulberry Bush from Kirsty B on Vimeo.

There are so many memes or questionnaires that circulate in our inboxes, on LiveJournal or Facebook. The ones that are all about “you” often ask what super power you would like to have if you could have one. I never know what to answer to that and often come up with something totally boring or something really dumb, just to get the question answered.

The other day though, I finally thought of one. I now know exactly what super power I want. I don’t think it is an actual known superpower like the ability to fly or to be invisible or to see through things. This is WAY better. At least it would be if it existed and I could have it.

I want to be able to take photographs with my eyes. Sure, I walk around with at least one camera on me at all times and take more photos than most people so that I can capture the moments of the day and so that when I am old and totally grey, I will be able to look back at my reminders of the days that I may not remember so clearly then. But there are so many moments that happen too quickly or that are at such angles that I would never be able to capture them with a proper camera.

With Noah, the moments are out of the blue when he goes from tired to turning toward you and giving you the cutest grin. The way his eyes crinkle and you do not even have to see his mouth to know what expression he has. It would also be useful to catch him in action when he is bouncing from one activity to another absolutely loving life inside his own world.

With Amy, I would give almost anything to catch the look in her eye when she is half drunk on milk and sleep, when she looks up at you and you can tell that at that moment you are the only person in her world and that she feels completely safe and content in your arms. Noah never really looked at me when I fed him. He was busy looking around at everything else. With Amy, that is her time to capture you and bring you into her world for a while. The look in her eye, the curl of her lashes, the slight slant of her eye between smile and sleep; that is the image I want to keep forever, but can’t without this super power.

So if anyone knows how I can go about getting myself hooked up with this, I would really appreciate it. Plus, it would save a ton on camera batteries.

The delay in getting this out may lead people to think that month two was as rough as month one. They’d mostly be wrong. I mean, it was rough. I’m still recovering from it, but to be fair, I spent a lot of it recovering from month one.

moses basket

But this month you started to smile. Often. Between the lengthy bouts of grizzling, crying and screaming, you spend a lot of the time smiling at me. You smile way more than your brother did which is wonderful, because you are unhappier a lot more often than he was too. On thing you do that he never seemed to do, is look at me when you wake up and give a little smile that grows into a medium sized smile and then takes over your entire face and your eyes crinkle and your mouth swallows half of your face and every single morning I just want to pick you up and squeeze you so tight until you can hear my heart screaming how much I love you.

And then, I close my eyes tightly and hope that we can make it through the day as friends.

smiles

It would be a lot easier to deal with your grump if you were an only child, but you aren’t. It is a constant struggle to try and give you both so much of myself and my love and attention in order to make sure that neither of you feel the other one gets more. Right now you need me a lot more than Noah does, but that doesn’t lessen the fact that he still needs me a lot. This leads me to hope one moment that you two will alternate nap times so that I can be with one of you whilst the other sleeps, but that leaves me so exhausted that I then hope that the next round of naps happens at the same time so I can breathe.

Sly smiles

The trouble is, no matter when you nap, you appear to want me within 3mm of you. And that is the days that you decide to nap. For some reason I thought I remembered that Noah started to sleep better after his 8 week injections. You, you barely slept at all that day, even with a dose of Calpol … which you hate.

That’s right, we let some lady stick two needles into you this month. You were not happy. But you were amazing when it happened. You cried.. briefly. It was over so quickly. Or so you led us to believe. Wow did you find your lungs later. Especially as we took you to get weighed after and apparently making you get naked and putting you in a plastic tray to see how much weight you have gained is not your idea of a good time and you let us know.

daddy's girl

You also had two 6 week checks this month. First the Health Visitors weighed you and measured your head and told me that they thought I was feeling too sad and should come and talk to people there to cheer me up. That gave me a giggle, so it worked I guess! You passed with flying colours although your head is bigger than your brother’s was at that age, so let us hope it slows down.

We went to the GP to have the second check later in the week and she reconfirmed that you were healthy and strong and gave us a useless cream for your skin.

Ooh, your skin. The baby acne cleared and appears to have left behind eczema. This has led me to cry a lot because I can see when it is bothering you and your tight balled up fists rub rub rub your face in an attempt to relieve yourself of the annoying itch. Luckily Kadie came through and sent you something from Canada which has helped SO much and has led to a whole lot less scratching and face rubbing. We’ll keep an eye on that and I will try whatever it takes to make you feel more comfortable, because you are about to experience a lot of frustrations.

Bath Time

The drool of teething has started and you are constantly trying to get your fist in your mouth. I’m not actually sure if that is a teething sign in your case as I swear that you are trying to suck your thumb. I’ve tried to give you a soother but you are not the biggest fan. You go days without ever touching one. I’m not complaining because it means not having to break you of the habit, but I am not sure I can wrestle your thumb away from you if you choose that route because you are so strong – physically and willed.

You are also starting to try and properly roll and not just do the flukey rolls you’ve been doing since birth. We watch as you try and swing your hips and legs to move your body from being on your back to your front. You can get on your side pretty easily, but the full back to front happens less often. Once you get the hang of it, if you are like your brother, you are going to do it in bed and annoy yourself when you end up in a position that you didn’t start out in.

cheeky lady

But, we have to focus on each day as it comes and not worry about tomorrow or next week because with you, each day is so different from the last. Except when you’re in the bath. That is the only place where we know what we are going to get… contentedness. Whether you are in the bath or in the shower, you love the water all over your body. You don’t even mind when the water runs down your face. It is silly, but you being such a water baby makes me happier than you could ever know.

So you see, this month has not been easy, but it is getting better slowly but surely. Whether that is true or I’ve just convinced myself of it matters not, because I just know that I am starting to enjoy you more that I did last month and I swear that when I tell you that I love you, you know what I am saying because you smile at me… or sometimes you say something back.

And I hope that you really do know what I am saying or at least you can feel that I’m saying mean that although I may struggle sometimes, that those words are letting you know that I will do whatever I can to keep you happy, healthy, safe and wrapped in love.

sleeping beauty

We might make it through this newborn thing after all!

Happy Two Months, Squawkers!
Mommy Loves You!

I swear I only gave birth to you 17 months ago, but in this past month it would appear that you turned two. Or at least took on all of the required traits for a toddler going through the Terrible Twos.

tongue out

Other mothers say that their 17/18 month olds are acting the same way, so at least I can breathe easy for now, knowing that I am not raising a complete CrAzY. Trust me, if it weren’t for the reassurance, I would be seeking out special padding for all of the walls in the house. A padded floor might be nice too. Though that would be for me since I seem to forever be tripping over your cars, buses, trains and all other wheeled toys that you never tire of playing with.

trains planes and ...

There is nothing so cute as seeing you get right down on the floor with your head on your arm as you “mmmmm” “brrr” as you roll your vehicles back and forth. There is also nothing quite so un-cute as you getting frustrated that the magnets on various magnetic vehicles are pushing apart rather than pulling together. I try and tell you to turn it around, but you’d rather deliver a sweeping blow to the toys. I totally understand that they are getting on your last nerve, but if you just listen, you will learn how to fix it and it won’t annoy you again.

That being said, you are my child, so I can’t really fault you for your short temper. I can however let you know that we don’t do things like that in this house. Just like we don’t willfully empty the basket of remotes behind the sofa, pour water in your electronic toys, put pillows on top of your baby sister, push all of the buttons on the washing machine, pull whatever is in your reach off of the kitchen counter, or dump your raisins all over the floor.

PAT A CAKE!!!

We do however enjoy your random outbursts of dancing, the endless hugs you want to give Amy and the kisses and cuddles you have for us.

Month 17 was also the month that you decided to show us that you had grown the perfect amount to open the front door and walk out. That’s right. We returned from a trip out and I had to pee very badly, so after I had you and your sister in from the car, I told you that I was just running up to the bathroom, only to get back downstairs and hear your familiar “uhh? uhh??” in the distance. Where on earth was that coming from? And then I saw the light in the front hall that was like a beacon screaming to me “you are the Worst Mother Ever! Your toddler escaped all because you just HAD to pee!”. I moved as fast as my fat and frightened legs would take me and found you standing on the driveway with your arms up in the air “uhhing” as you looked around wondering where I was.

cute flute

Month 17 was the month you nearly killed me. Now my heart skips a beat when you slip out of view and I have to keep the front door locked even when I’m sitting in the room next door.

Other than highlighting that I cannot imagine what my life would be like without you in it.. even for half a minute, your escape highlighted that you are growing up so quickly. You are trying to walk up the stairs and not crawl, you can open and close doors, you come to get me when you think Amy needs me, you try and pick her up to give her a hug, you ask to brush your teeth at least 3 times a day – though not with words. And although you can “moo” and say only a couple of words here and there, that is totally fine by me, because I need something to remind me that you’re still just a little dude. Not even a year and a half old.

17 months

What I wouldn’t give to keep you this age forever, but I know I need to let you grow and explore and go through the phases drive me up the wall, and cherish the stages where you ooze cuteness. Even though there seem to be more of the crazy stages, I am so proud of you.

Don’t ever stop being you.

cool dude

Happy Seventeen Months, GrumpyPumps!!
Mommy Loves You!!

Maybe not quite 1000, but this picture sums up the lives of Noah and Amy now and until they no longer speak to me or have their own children who think the same way they do now…

Family -1 Photo

Amy to Noah: Dude, is she always like this?

Noah to Amy: Just wait. You haven’t seen anything yet….

Just over 16 months ago I gave birth to your brother. The actual birthing experience was not one which I ever wanted to repeat. It was very long, it was painful at first but so numb for a lot of it that there are still parts that I cannot remember. Afterwards, it took me a while to accept that the baby lying in the plastic box next to me was mine. I’d waited so long to be a mommy and when it happened, it wasn’t like the stories you hear or what you see on television. I struggled for a while and there were days I thought that I would never feel the way you are “supposed” to and that maybe I just wasn’t meant to be a mommy.

One month ago I gave birth again. It was still painful, but so much shorter. I felt everything even though I didn’t want to. And then at just before 10.00am on the 4th of June the midwife said “with your next push, there will be a baby on your chest”. She was right, because the next thing I knew Kadie announced that you were a GIRL!!!! and then you were lying on me and crying.

1st day home

The room was bright, you were healthy as can be and all of the pain that I had felt had already been forgotten. Not to say I would ever repeat the experience .. and this time I really mean it, but it was great. It was everything you see on tv and hear about and you looked just like your brother, but with a vagina.

It was definitely one of the best moments of my life. I survived, I had my girl and you were perfect. Even if you did look like you had been in the sun too long without any protection. But hey, tomato red is much better than hobbit grey/purple. The feeling that I wanted so bad with Noah appeared to be there. At least a much closer version than I had the first time.

After a bit of bonding with Mommy and Daddy you got to meet Kadie (actually, she was in the room when you were born and saw you before I did), Zed, your Nan and your big brother Noah. You got lots of cuddles and a nose honk or two and then everyone went home and we were left together. I expected you to sleep all evening and be awake all night. After all, you had a very busy morning. But no, you seemed to be letting me know that you were not going to be the sleeper that your brother was.

amy in sleeping shocker

I don’t know if I have completely forgotten what things were like with your brother, but you seem to be more difficult. You need to be held more, you want to feed more often, you cry more, you scream more and you hit or scratch your face all of the time. More than one person has said that you sound like me. Not me as a baby, but me now. That is so not what I want to hear. I’ve always said that I understand why people cannot live with me, because sometimes I struggle to get through the day living with myself. And now.. now there are two of us? Perhaps I should have called you Karma instead of Amy.

bath with attitude

The days where it is bad I struggle. It is a lot harder when I have you and your brother to share attention between. He has mostly been understanding. Then again, he has been pretty understanding about my parental shortcomings since birth. You, not so much. Probably another one of the traits you got from me.

The days where it is not so bad, I cannot get over how much love I feel for you, even though you look back at me with crossed eyes or a scowl. Even when your eyes are saying “you suck, woman. I want a Mother Refund” I cannot help but stare into them. You have blue eyes. I know it is temporary, but Noah never ever had them and I cannot believe that one day I am going to look into your eyes and they will be different. This means I take photos of your face a lot. I’m hoping to get the perfect photo which will forever remind me of the eyes that soon enough I will never get to see again.

eyes wide

To be honest, I am trying to capture all of the good things I can about this time, because I feel like there are not many. Though it seems when you are crying and cannot be soothed that you are to blame for all of the not-so-goodness, I do accept that I am not meant to be in charge of newborns 24 hours a day. Unfortunately for all involved, there is no other option. Luckily your father has far more patience than I do and is okay with pacing up and down this tiny house while you wail your heart out and I try and spend a few moments alone with your brother who went from having all of my attention to very little.

It actually took me a while to write this to you because I felt guilty that it wasn’t more positive and wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows since I now have my perfect little family and I should be over the moon. And I am. On the inside. But I know that things will get better and every good thing will seem great when we can go back and see how hard the beginning was. When you are not feeding for 4 hours straight, getting mad when I can’t magic up more milk from somewhere, when you are not crying every time you need to fart, when you can be put down and don’t mind looking around the room instead of crying and demanding that you be held. Oh, and if you didn’t come out of the womb able to hold up your head and roll and do things you’re not meant to be able to do, it would have given me a little more time to adjust. But I can’t even just plop you down on the couch while I fold laundry .. and not because Noah will force you to play pat-a-cake, but because you roll and get yourself stuck in places you shouldn’t be or cannot get out of!!

a dress!

In a few months (maybe a bit longer) I will be enjoying the time with you and telling myself that I shouldn’t have wished away the newborn days, and to be fair, we’ve made it through the first month relatively unscathed. Sure my eyes look like I’ve been 10 rounds with Ricky Hatton and I have the energy level of a sloth, but I am the mother of a healthy, not-often-but-occasionally happy, strong willed little girl and her terrible-twos-come-early but oh so cute older brother.

And there have been good things in our first month that will outshine the bad: you eventually regained your birth weight back after a long 3 week wait and did it all without a bottle, even though we had a rough start with breastfeeding and I appear to produce semi-skimmed/1% and not the full fat cream you should be having. You appear to love your brother even if he sometimes scares you with his excited dancing. You gave me a smile before you were one month old.. though they are very very very rare. You let me know that you need me and that you feel “calmer” when I am holding you, which IS a good thing .. just perhaps a little less often would be even better.

smiles

So although this month had more valleys than peaks, we survived and go into month 2 with fingers crossed that things will start to improve .. or at least that I lose my short term memory and convince myself that they did.

Happy One Month, Squawkers.
Mommy Loves You!

Never has a month passed in your life where I have loved you more and more and more each day. My heart is so full to bursting that I am having chest pains.

Just Beat It

Just Beat It

Your life has been turned on its head this month. You woke up 15 months old and things seemed normal. As normal as it is to be getting a truck load of new teeth all at once. But things were the same as they always were for you: you woke up, came in Mommy and Daddy’s room, demanded that one of us turn on the television for you, laid back on the pillows, drank your milk and started your day the You way.

Dim Sum Dude

The next day, Kadie and Zed arrived. Having been so “social” lately, we thought that you’d love a trip to the airport with Daddy to greet them and that they’d see what an outgoing boy you’d become. Only, you started to wail and continued the vocal exercising for much of the journey back to Milton Keynes. I like to tell myself that it was the realisation that you were not getting on a plane and in fact were returning to Milton Keynes that caused this outburst, because I’d have pretty much the same one if I were in your shoes.

Then the weekend came and we took you out and broke your “routine”, but you were okay with it because you were getting to do a lot of things that Mommy and Daddy would say “No!” to. And oh the fountains at the HUB, how you fell in love.

The Before

The Before

The After

The After

Exactly a week after waking up as a 15 month old, as you’d come around to Kadie and Zed being a part of your daily routine, things changed again. You woke up at 4am to find me in the shower and although you were totally shattered and confused, you wanted to come in … because that’s how our day starts. After getting dressed we got into the car before it was totally light out and instead of passing right out, you just sat there staring as I made funny noises every few minutes. The next thing you know, we’re in a hospital … one which you love visiting normally, but you’d never been into one of these rooms (that you can remember since the last visit was the day you were born) and you weren’t liking that I had to keep bending over the bed and was moaning instead of playing with you. Kadie and Zed arrived and you went and hung out with Zed still remaining clueless as to what was going on.

It wasn’t until around 9 hours later when you finally got to see me again and had the look of total confusion on your face when you saw this little bundle of person in my arms.

You took to your little sister quickly and got over her quickly. In fact, you’ve been much that way ever since. When she’s alert you love to give her cuddles and tickles and poke her eyes, honk her nose and force her to play Pat-a-Cake with her hands or even her feet if those are easier to come by. When she’s in her swing the squeals of excitement that come from you can be heard in neighbouring counties. The looks in your eye range from “I wonder how fast I can make this go” to “I wonder if my Mommy would notice if I just fling myself on top of Amy” and the looks she returns range from “this guy is hilarious” to “someone HELP ME PLEASE”. You aren’t all hyper and physical with her now though. It has taken a few weeks, but you are starting to be concerned rather than annoyed when she cries. One more than one occasion you’ve come to get me when she starts to squirm and I’ve caught you trying to give her a soother because you know that it would make you feel better if you were crying and didn’t have one.

brother&sister

When your sister first arrived, there was a little adjustment period. You weren’t sure what was going on or what this meant for you. You didn’t quite get why Mommy had this tiny person attached to her and couldn’t do whatever it was you wanted when you wanted. And understandably, you took it out on me. It broke my heart and made me love you even more than I knew was possible. I cried a lot of tears because I was worried that you didn’t know that I still loved you just as much and even more than before and I couldn’t figure out a way to let you know.

Luckily, you had Kadie and Zed here to soften the blow of the arrival. They got you an amazing inflatable pool, filled the backyard with rocks, took you for walks, took you to the park, played with you at Rugrats, let you eat whatever you wanted, and held your leg in the car when I couldn’t reach. I’m not sure that either of us would have survived that initial period without them here to help. And as the days passed, and you realised that even if I am holding your sister, if you need me I will do whatever I can to help , we became friends again. And although we have less time to play alone or nap together or just share cuddles, every time we get a chance to, your smile is bigger than ever, the hugs are tighter and you fall asleep quicker. Amy’s arrival may have broken us initially, but we’ve repaired US even better than before!

Al Fresco

This whole month hasn’t just been about becoming a Big Brother, but also the arrival of a whole bunch of new teeth. You went through a lot over the past month with the bumps coming up and going down and making it so hard for you to chew, but you have finally seen some relief. You hit 16 months old and had a total of 13 teeth! Only 7 more to go and quite a few should be here before 17 months arrives. In fact, some may come before the end of the week. There were whinges and some tears, a lot of weird faces and clenched jaws, but only once did you get any pain relief more than Dentinox and I made Daddy give you a half dose just in case you weren’t really cutting teeth. Thank you for still loving me after that too!!!

I only hope that your sister grows to have as much patience and forgiveness for my Silly Mommyness that you have for me. Right now she appears to have neither of those and it is making life in this house kind of hard. Once again you have shown yourself to be a superstar and Daddy and I have been so proud of you. When I get sad and frustrated about the dealings with a newborn again, Kadie points out that you have come out pretty damn well and she thinks that has something to do with me. I, on the other hand, believe that how you’ve come out has been in spite of the mother you’ve been alloted.

The Family

16 months on and you continue to amaze, astonish, confuse, make us laugh, fill us with love and be the best little boy I could ever hope for. It is hard for me to think that those first couple, few… bunch of months I saw no light at the end of the tunnel and now as we go through this with Amy, you give me immeasurable amounts of hope and shine ten suns worth of light at the end of the tunnel.

Though sometimes I forget that at 4 o’clock in the morning, so thank you for starting to sleep through when your sister isn’t.

You are a Super Star!

Superstar

Happy Sixteen Months, GrumpyPumps!!!
Mommy Loves You!!