Still Here… Barely

For those of you that have been trying to call, who have emailed me with no reply or have left messages for me in various places just to check up on me…

I am still here.

There are days I wish I weren’t, but I am.  And unfortunately for everyone, I am not going anywhere anytime soon.

Waking up in the morning is still a struggle, though it is easier than falling asleep.  If I stay awake the entire day I am proud of myself.  If I was a couple of dishes here and there, I am ready to accept some sort of award.  This has been a slow crawl back from a place I never wanted to go and hopefully will not have to visit again any time in the near future.  I’ve discovered that I am not as strong as everyone thought I was, but I am stronger than I thought I was.

There are days where I have managed not to cry.  Not many, but some, and that is a start.  Next week I am finally attempting work again.  My doctor doesn’t want me to, but there is a serious lack of structure in my days which allows me to get stuck in a pattern of doing nothing.  I need to get back on my hobby horse.

For today though, I am content to sit inside and fight off the sleepiness. I’ve already showered, washed the dishes and done a load of laundry.  If that doesn’t make me Wife of the Year, then I am not sure what will.

Actually, I am… but Lee will have to wait until next week for his birthday present before I officially receive the award!