I’d like to know what the laws are regarding Squatters’ Rights within a uterus.

Today we have hit DUE DATE DAY and BoB has officially been served his/her eviction notice. However, after a few false starts, it would appear that this child has no intention of giving up its warm and wet home for the cruel chill of the outside world.

Fair enough, I’d rather be warm too. But there comes a time when we all have to suck it up and get on with things.  That time has come for you now, BoB!

It is alright that you are stubborn, I mean heck, you are my child after all.  But now is not the time for a battle of wills.  I’ll concede this one and let you win, but you have to come on out to accept your prize.   There is nowhere else to grow from here. My tummy is full and you even know that because I can feel that you’re not able to play around as much as you used to.  If you come on out, there is a whole world to play in and other people to play with… not just the other two faces that have provided you some weird sort of companionship along your bumpy journey.

Everyone is ready.  The “plug” is gone, our bags are packed and Kadie (that’s my Mom!) has her outfit ready for the delivery.  We’re just waiting for you to get a move on.

Please, I am begging you.  Let’s end this stand off.  You’ll be much happier out here once we get you all warmed up. I promise.

Lee and I spent a romantic Valentine’s Day morning at the hospital.  No, we didn’t come home with a baby, but we did get one last peek at the baby that has been growing… and growing … and growing… inside of me.

Today we learnt that BoB’s belly is still large and in charge, but he or she has sneaked in under the radar and has avoided removal by c-section or induction.  At least has avoided the induction for now.   Hanging around too long may still result in an eviction notice.   The magic number they were looking for was an estimated weight of 4kg or 8.8lbs.  BoB just made it at 3.8kg or 8.4lbs.

We also found out that in order to support this blossoming belly, BoB’s got some supermodel length legs.  I really don’t know what the femur length tells you, but the sonographer, midwife and consultant were all far more blown away by that measurement than the belly size.   Apparently BoB is so tall that we’ve been told to forget the 0-3 months clothes and go for the 3-6 months.  This is just after I was coming to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to squeeze my baby into “newborn” clothes.

The bad news is that we are no closer to knowing when BoB may appear and from what I can tell, this baby is quite comfy where he or she is.  However, the good news outweighs the bad news as our big little baby is healthy and that is the most important part.  But I could have told them that already.  After all, I am the one who feels the kicks and punches all day long.

Oooh and for the first time, I think BoB may have a chance of being a Roberta.  After being convinced that BoB was a BoB and thinking that the 4D scan verified it, today’s baby with its chubby cheeks looked more like a girl.  Then again it was a 2D scan and it was a brief peek.  Mind you, once again, BoB was chewing away.  I have no idea what is in there, but this child seem to eat anything he or she can get their hands on.

Maybe he/she does take after me in some way after all 🙂

This is like the longest football (not the soccer kind) game of my life. Although we have gradually crept along gaining yardage, there have been many sacs and incomplete passes along the way. At some points it felt like all we were going to score was a field goal, and never actually make it into the endzone for a touchdown. But here we are at 39 weeks today which means that the endzone is in sight and this quarterback, who now looks like a nose tackle, is going …to…go…all…the…way!

I’m about to do something the Buffalo Bills appear to have forgotten how to do: I’m getting a Superbowl ring. Mine is going to come in a package that screams and poos and sleeps and poos and cries and poos and eats and will most likely have me wrapped around their finger rather than me wearing the prize around mine, but that’s alright!

Over the past week I’ve felt like I’ve been losing yardage. My head hurts insanely every morning which forces me back to bed for a few hours. My stomach is constantly in a state of total tightness or upset. My early (week -1 through 27) nausea seems to be returning for most of the morning hours. And worst of all the tears are back. They are nowhere near what they were, but they are coming whether it be from sadness, happiness, fear or excitement. Ain’t no stopping them now.

At least now though, I can see the goal line. I know where I need to be and it is not out of my reach any longer. I’ve still got a lot of passes to complete before getting there, but I shall endeavour to do them so that when the time comes, all I need to focus on is those last few yards. Hopefully my special teams will be fully assembled by then (Mom and Lee) and all will go like clockwork.

Yeah, I know this is me we’re talking about, but I can dream right?

So with one last week to go (hopefully), I shall be giving one last ticker update as to where BoB is at right now:

“This is it! I’m done squirming around in here! Unless I’m feeling ultra snuggly… I’m 39 weeks old, only 7 days to go! “

..or at least you might be inclined to believe that if you could see the size of my belly right now. I’ve realised all along that I do not have a tiny bump, which has been cool because I’m not a tiny kind of person. However, over the past few weeks my tummy has been growing at a rate that I never expected. I look like I’ve swallowed Danny Devito whole.

Now I’m not saying that he wouldn’t be tasty, because who am I to judge, but it’s not really the look I was going for.

When we went for a walk on Saturday I was mesmerised by my shadow – it was huge!

Then yesterday we went grocery shopping and as we headed back to the car I caught sight of my reflection in the window. It looked like I’d eaten the shadow from Saturday.

And then just now I was having a pre-bed pee (one of many) and looked in the mirror and nearly screamed.

I think I might have to ask the person doing the ultrasound on Thursday to double check that there aren’t twins in there. And if there is only one baby, he/she better not be a 5lber. Well, okay we know he/she isn’t, but still. I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that the baby doesn’t weight 20lbs, and isn’t 4 years old. (Yeah, I have no idea how much a 4 year old weighs, but it may well be over 20lbs)

Check it out!

38+6

And to top it off.. that is solid belly and my belly button is still an innie! How is this possible?!

One thing it does answer, is why I need Lee to help me off of our super comfy super soft sofa.

I think I’m going to have nightmares tonight.

Lee and I never really had a first date.  Not a “proper” out for dinner kind of get-to-know-each-other date.  Mind you, have we ever done anything in the normal way?  No.

But Lee pointed out this week that whether BoB arrives early or not, this was our last full weekend alone as a couple as next weekend he’d either be a father, or living with his Mother in Law.  I’d never even thought of it like that.  To be honest, a little panic set in because although I am aware that BoB is not staying inside forever, and I know that the due date is…well, 10 days away now… I keep telling myself we’ve got LOADS of time.   Apparently not.

So last night we decided to have Date Night.  We went to dinner (the 4th restaurant we tried as everywhere was packed) and then to the movies.   As the ultimate Last Weekend Alone Movie, we saw Juno; a film about a 16 year old girl who gets pregnant.

Now we had a great time all night and laughed a lot and I cried a little (at the movie), but one thing was for certain, there was no way that BoB was letting his or her presence go unknown.  During dinner it started out like a West End Show with some high octane dancing going on, and then Braxton Hicks kicked in.  Not ones I couldn’t handle, just ones that made me look awkward every now and then as I tried to mask the Wincing-In-Pain-Face with the Mmm-This-Tastes-Nice-Face.

We went up to the movie and at first all was well.  It was pretty empty and we were comfortable with our space. I knew if I needed to make a toilet break I could escape quickly so I could sit back and relax.  And then… and then the people came.  I have no idea where from, but with 5 minutes before the movie starting the theatre became packed. I had to take my feet off of the arm rest in front of me  (which proved a harmful move as my feet started to swell as I sat there…to the point where I felt like I was wearing the wrong feet.  Luckily I had changed my shoes just before we got into the car) and my speedy escape would now have to be a long drawn out Sorry – Excuse Me – Pardon Me stumble over popcorn and feet.

That’s okay, I would just sit back and watch the movie.  And for the first 15 minutes, that is what I did.  Then, BoB decided he or she wasn’t getting all of the attention and on came the Braxton Hicks.  The most painful and uncomfortable ones I’ve had so far.  I tried to tell myself to calm down and just focus on the movie, that I didn’t want to look like a fool as I stumbled out of the theatre being by far the most pregnant woman in there as this 20 foot 16 year old we were watching seemed to be doing a lot better with her pregnancy than I was.  So I shifted back and forth and up and down in my seat trying to find a position that would lessen the pain and allow my uterus to chill out a bit.

Of course, between squeezings of his or her house around their chubby belly, BoB wanted to dance!   At one point in the movie someone talks to the belly to see if they can feel movement, well I think BoB thought that they were talking to him/her because he/she was going crazy trying to respond.  It provided a brief moment of relief and humour to my suffering.

I kept wanting to run out, but I just knew this couldn’t be the real thing.  I couldn’t be going into labour whilst watching Juno.  Okay, if anyone was going to do it, it would be me, but karma wouldn’t let me suffer an embarrassing fate like that right?

Once the movie was over, Lee helped me waddle to the car, sat patiently whilst I suffered through another contraction and then urged me to check my phone as I was at that point convinced that I must have been going through sympathy labour for Sally.  But there were no messages, so we went on home where Lee ran a warm bath for me and BoB and I tried to figure out a way to actually make it through proper labour when the time comes.   I’ve still not managed to work anything out there.   I just keep telling myself that in actual labour the contractions will actually be doing something and not just practising.  Yeah yeah, practise makes perfect, but I’m tired of the practising.  Let’s either get the real deal under way or allow me to enjoy my last few days (or weeks) of this pregnancy.  PLEASE.

So, as you can tell by the fact that I am writing this, I lived through the night.   I sit here typing in mild discomfort rather than the crazy pain I was in last night.  We’re still trying to keep BoB in until my Mom arrives, and I’m sure this child isn’t going to come easily even then, so I will wince, whimper, moan and cry in frustration until she arrives to whip me into shape and continue to be grateful for having Lee here with me.  His excitement to meet BoB allows for extra patience during my suffering, which is coming in really handy.  Plus he tells me little tidbits about babies in their first days/weeks of life whilst I try and deal with things which takes my mind away from the pain if even for a moment.

Our Date Night might be over,  and it was a really good night, all in all, but what I’ve learnt from it is that we don’t actually need proper dates, because we just really enjoy being around each other whether we are in the kitchen folding laundry, trying to fall asleep at night, just driving in the car or sitting in silence reading magazines or on the computer.  And that, that means so much more than dinner and a movie.  That, is what is going to help get us through the changes to our life that are just around the corner.  And for that, I am grateful.

Now to de-cheese.  Here are some photos taken last night.  Please note that my maternity sweater can barely reach the bottom of my belly now.  There is some serious stretching going on, so BoB better not grow too much more!!

38w3 days in….and they say J-Lo is huge?!  Look again!

38w3d: Nothing but BoB

My sweater blends in with the dark wood of the dresser, so look carefully at where my thumb pokes out to see the true measure of this belly!

38w3d: Get In My Bellah

After seeing the behind shots of me lately, I’ve contemplated walking backward for the rest of this pregnancy!

Where'd BoB Go?

My detachable bump, or so it seems:

38w3d: it's strapped on!

A close up of BoB in his/her house:

38w3d: BoB's House

..or at least nursery.

And okay, not a whole “new” one, but an almost complete one which has required furniture moving and a little more of the DIY from Lee (with nothing but loving guidance and annoying questions from me).

All that remains to be done, is for three frames to be put up on the wall over the crib (cotbed).

It is getting so close!! If I weren’t scared £$&%less I’d be over excited!!

No matter how real this is becoming, it is hard to believe that within a few weeks or less there will actually be a little baby in this house who will be soothed in the new glider, wear the diapers (nappies) in the basket on the dresser and actually still be there in the morning when we wake up.  The reality is almost overwhelming.  Actually, scratch the almost. It IS overwhelming.

Anyway, before I’m overcome with hormone driven emotional craziness, here are the photos!

The new arrangement of furniture (yes we are going to clear off the window sill!)

Final Destination

The Very Comfy – and Sponge Cleanable – Glider

Rock-a-bye Baby

BoB’s Artwork – thanks to Lee, My Momma and some people online (my contributions are in the set that aren’t up!)

Caribbean Breeze

And no nursery of my child, boy or girl, could be complete without these….

Canucks VS Leafs

Yes, that is a towel rack that we’ve turned into a “wall-less wardrobe”. It is a heck of a lot cheaper and fits in the room!!

Dumpling you wan? Dumpling you a go get!

My mother called me yesterday for advice on how I make dumplings. To be honest, I panicked. I hadn’t made dumplings in a long time because they were not what Lee was used to the one time I made them and he seemed a bit scared of my “spinners”. So I hung up the dumpling skills and trudged through life without the constant love of a good dumpling.

It was alright though, because when we’d go to St.Kitts I’d always get to have them at least once when Ida (my grandmom’s cook) made us lunch. You might wonder how one serving could hold you, but her dumplings are normally quite massive and they take roughly 3 months to digest.

So I looked up recipes that agreed with what I thought was in a dumpling and we settled on what she needed. It was all I ever used for them, so how could it be wrong, right?

That was until today when I decided to make some stewed beef with dumplings. Now, I didn’t go off setting to outshine her or to make better dumplings, I just wanted to make an edible dinner for Lee. I decided to see if there were any fancy pants recipes out there on the internet in case I needed any ingredients that I was missing. That is when I stumbled upon a photo of stewed beef with herb dumplings that said it was taken from a cookbook…. that I happened to own.

Well, it looked good on there, so it had to look good for me, right? Not so much. I mean it did look and taste awesome, I just meant that usually my recreations are not that close to the real thing.

But low and behold… I think I did even better. And Momma, I’ve got a new recipe for dumplings! Ones that even Lee consumed happily…two bowls full and is having it for lunch tomorrow!

I only ask one thing of you now, Don’t Hate Me Because My Dumplings Are Beautiful…

Stewed Beef and Dumplings

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmmm

…comes in the form of Jell-O Pudding.

Most women when they are approaching their baby’s due date think about rational things like “what will my husband eat when I am in the hospital”. That is assuming they will be staying in for longer than 12 hours. They also think “I won’t have the time or energy to cook when I get back so I should prepare some meals ahead of time”.

Now, you and I both know that I don’t often fit into the “normal” category in regards to…well … anything. So this morning instead of getting back to bed to make myself feel better after a morning of sick tummy and pretend contractions, I went downstairs after I had a brainwave. “Aha!” I thought to myself “If I do go into labour today, I know what will be good for Lee and I to eat before we go… some Jell-O Pudding”.

So I whipped a box of the powdered chocolate fudge goodness off of the shelf and proceeded to whisk up some deliciousness. I looked at it and thought “yes, that looks good, but it is missing something”, so I whipped a box of Vanilla goodness off of the shelf, whipped it up and poured it on top of the chocolate fudge flavour that was already setting.

I dipped a little spoon in to make sure that I hadn’t left any grainy lumps or bumps and when I tasted it, I realised that if more people got to experience the greatness of Jell-O Pudding, there would be a lot of happier people in the world. If there were a lot of happier people in the world, there would be more love, less hatred, which means less wars… which means world peace eventually.

You can laugh all you want now, but in 20 years when some other not so normal person comes out with it, they’ll get a Nobel Peace Prize and I’ll be too busy eating my pudding to be upset about it.

So this morning I woke up just before the alarm went off for Lee because of course I had to pee.  When I got back into bed my stomach started to hurt.  I left it a minute and then got back up to go to the bathroom like I have done almost every morning for the past month and a half.   Only this time when I returned and tried to go to sleep I started to get some serious cramps.  As my glider was due to be delivered today I tried my best to ignore them.  Yes, I cannot wait to meet this baby (actually I can hold out another 2 weeks), but I’m really excited about this glider!!!

Anyway, my stomach was not in the mood for bargaining, so we were off to the loo once again.  All the while I started to wonder if this was My Luck.  Was I going into labour now so that I’d miss the delivery?  Let’s face it, if that was going to happen to someone, it would be me.  I sat there as my stomach turned into a rock and the cramps got worse.  I eventually tried to make it back to the room once more, giving up on sleep.

I sat at the computer, rebooted it, all whilst holding my gigantic belly, wondering how to soften it and how to get these cramps to go away.  I decided to give the bathroom another shot, but just when you’d think relief was around the corner, the Tummy of Rock returned and the cramps felt tighter and stronger.

At this point I was getting really annoyed…am I? am I not? is this how is starts? how the hell do you time something like this when you are too busy hugging your bump?  And then I decided that it was all Lee’s fault.  It was not a conscious decision, but because he was leaving for work and I had no idea what was going on, it felt right.  In reality I wasn’t assigning blame, but I was scared and didn’t want to show it, so his innocent questions did not receive appropriate answers.

I finally managed to leave the washroom because there was a slight softening of my tummy, got dressed whilst Lee left for work, my tummy softened, BoB woke up, tummy went hard, cramps went away, tummy went soft, brushed my teeth, glider was delivered, tummy went hard and slight cramping returned, and now tummy is a medium grade of solid but the cramps have gone for now.

Please, this is not how I want to spend the next two weeks or less/more, wondering if every off or odd feeling I have is a sign that BoB is on his/her way.  I still need to get some sleep damnit which is a STRUGGLE and a half right now.  My hips feel like they’ve been punched all day long because I can only sleep straight up on my sides.  This has increased my tossing and turning and moaning and irritability when the non-pregnant man in the bed next to me lies there snoring away like sleeping is the easiest thing on earth to do.  I cannot tell you how I look forward to sleeping on my stomach again.  Well, before the milk comes in and makes it not so great to do… oh and as if I’m actually going to get to sleep through a night in the next 20 years.   But other than that, I am looking forward to it.

Okay, we’ve gone rock hard again, so I am going to get the pyjamas back out and crawl into bed and hope this is all just false.  I don’t have the energy today to be producing a baby.

Oh, and sorry to Lee for taking my fears and frustrations out on him.   I should have saved them for the delivery man who was going to leave the heavy glider box outside of the front door for my massively pregnant self to drag in, but I had visions of a lovely man who would see my state and bring the box to the nursery and didn’t want to ruin my chances.  Looks like karma took care of that!

Lastly: This is Week 38! Officially 2 weeks .. or notenoughtimeformetogetmyheadaroundthis… until BoB is officially due!

Ticker Update:    I am at least 7lbs and if I decide to stay in here, my fingernails will need to be clipped! I am 38 weeks old, only 14 days to go!

Just to let you know BoB, we’re cool with the nail thing.  The nail clippers are packed, so no need to rush little dude/dudette.  Also, no need to keep sticking your bum in my ribs.  Totally uncalled for and totally uncomfortable.