Man oh man. Last night I went to my first Grown Up Party. Thinking about it now, it was my first party of any kind, but it was a grown up’s birthday. My Mommy was quite nervous because she hadn’t seen the hosts in a while and wasn’t going to know a lot of the other people that were there, but there was nothing to worry about because, as usual, I was perfect.

Okay, I cried a little when that one man ran his finger down the side of my face, but can you blame me? I mean, who was he and why was he touching me? Yeah, I’m cute, I know… but you don’t have to touch me to let me know. I love cuddles and stuff, but not from dudes I don’t know, and plus I was feeding off of the vibe my Mommy was getting and it was not a good one.

Anyway, after showing everyone how alert and curious I am, having a few snoozes, and having a feed, I was ready to go. And it was past my parents’ bedtime, whether they like to admit it or not. When we got home, there was some mumbling about time change and feeding schedules and I had no idea what was going on so I let them know I was ready to eat and promptly fell asleep.

Then I woke up at 4am, which supposedly was 5am, but who cares…. because I looked at the window and it was lighter than it usually is when I get up for my late night snack and I was loving it. My Mommy wasn’t. She didn’t seem thrilled to lie there awake with me whilst I celebrated with flailing fists and feet for the next hour either, so the sneak pulled the move of bringing me into The Big Bed which meant that I was asleep within 5 minutes. And I slept for the next 4 hours.

It was great and we were all feeling refreshed so we headed off to the mall to get Daddy some work clothes and apparently to get my parents some ice cream.

Refreshed and Dressed

When we went outside I was treated to something I never imagined in my wildest dreams!!!! Did you know that the sun shines in England? And not just momentarily between passing clouds. The sky was blue, the breeze as not too cold and the sun was really bright. I LOVED it! It was so bright that my pupils were like pins, but no matter how my Mommy wanted to shade me, I just wanted to see more more more more more!!!!

So after shopping which put me to sleep, we came home and I ate and ate and ate and then my Mommy put me in some comfy clothes and let me sit in my swing and watch my Daddy scrub the deck… literally.

Dude on the Deck

But my silly parents should have realised that I wouldn’t be happy down there for long. I am too cool to be left hanging out at ankle level. I wanted the view of the world that they had, and a little exercising of my lungs and I got it.

Oh yeah, who’s the man?

Too Cool For School

One month ago today, my life changed forever. I lied in the hospital bed looking at the baby in the Plastic Basket next to me and was just overwhelmed with emotion. I was elated that the little he or she that was inside of me was now out and I could actually see, smell and touch him. I was so scared that I wouldn’t be everything that he deserved in a Mommy. I was exhausted after having gone through one long and not so straightforward labour. I was so happy that he arrived in time to meet his Zed and that my Momma was there to hold my hand through it all. I was heartbroken to know that my Dad would never get to hold this perfect little boy that he would have loved to bits.

To be honest, I am still all of those things … and more.

In the past month I have cried endless tears, smiled until it hurt, marvelled at the way Noah develops day after day, wondered if I will ever sleep through a night again, been frustrated at the things that haven’t gone to plan, fallen more in love than I ever thought possible and been so grateful that I’ve been able to experience this all with the greatest husband there is.

Noah and The Number One Daddy

We’ve had sleepless nights, painful feeds, heartache when he wouldn’t gain back his birth weight, frustrating minutes that felt like years when he cried and we didn’t know what was wrong, but I cannot complain. Even though I wake up every morning with a headache from not getting enough sleep, the bags under my eyes are growing like my belly was and my stomach looks like a tiger attacked me, I honestly cannot complain because Noah is perfect.

Perfect Noah

Sure he cries when he is scared, hungry, bored or just wants a cuddle. He also likes to poo when we are at our most exhausted or after we’ve just changed him. He’s even given us the finger.. quite a bit. However, from the moment he was born he looked at the world around him with the widest eyes and look of amazement. He loves to be cuddled and cuddle you back. He is so content, all things considered. I mean, I am his mother and that should be enough to send any baby over the edge. As if they don’t have enough things to worry about, what with leaving the warm dark comfort of the womb and entering into this twisted reality of life.

But he’s been a superstar at adjusting. He’s even done things ahead of “schedule”. Okay, I will admit, some have to be flukes, but we like to think it is because he is wise beyond his weeks. Before babies are supposed to be able to “see”, he was staring into your eyes or at pictures on the wall, and mostly out of windows (possibly planning an escape). He has been holding that head of his high since the start and is already smiling proper non-gas propelled smiles, turns from his back to side and side to back and today on his one monthday he actually flipped himself from his tummy to his back. Best of all, he makes us laugh, which is the most important trait to have in this house. Whether it be his uncoordinated flailing arms and legs, being completely amazed or stunned by the most simple of things, his ability to wake himself up scared with his own gaseous emissions, or just the million different facial expressions he has… he can always crack up his Mommy and Daddy.

Post Bath Noah

Sure I may sound like every other parent who thinks that they have the smartest and cutest kid in the world, but it is different with us… because I really do. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where he doesn’t look so beautiful, but we stay in our PJs those days and don’t show the photos to the world. There are also days where he wants to be held all of the time and cries even when you put him down so that you can have a pee! But the majority of the time he is perfect. He has already surpassed all of my expectations because he seems happy almost all of the time. Happier than I ever imagined and as long as he is happy, I am happy. There is no pressure here to grow up to become a doctor or football star. So long as he keeps smiling and letting us know that he knows we love him, even if I dress him in silly outfits or make him dance to silly music, or just that he has to suffer the rest of his life with me as a mother (which may cause so much embarrassment that he may actually believe the opposite to be true).

Easter Noah

This has been the longest month of my life and the shortest at the same time, but at the end of it I can honestly say that I am a happier, more contented person within myself and I have Noah Alexander James to thank for that. He has no idea at the moment, but I hope he grows up to realise that he has made my world an amazing place to live in. A couple of months ago I feared that I wouldn’t be able to say that, but he’s proved me wrong. I don’t like being wrong most of the time, but I’ll let him off of the hook.

Smiley Smiles

Happy One Month, Grumpy Pumps.
Mommy Loves You!

I am a whole month old today. I celebrated by smiling a lot, eating quite a bit, sleeping a little and definitely living up to the name Grumpy Pumps. All of the excitement really took it out of me, so I don’t have much to write here. However, my Mommy has written something about it all in her blog. If you want to read it, it is here:

NAJB: 1 Month in Review

After putting in such a sterling effort to re-fatten myself up, my Mommy rewarded me with a play date today. Okay, so I may be a little young for Hide’n’Seek or for Tag, but I am not too young to get to spend time looking at someone other than my Mommy all day long.

So this morning we woke up and got ready for Luca and his mummy, Sally, to come over. Last time they tried to introduce us I was rather rude and slept through the entire thing. This time I put in an effort to be a bit more sociable. A bit.

At first I was taken aback. Surely there aren’t other people my size in the world! Everyone else has seemed so… so… tall!!! But Luca lied down next to me.. on my favourite Chill Out spot on the sofa and let me know not to be scared.

Noah and Luca 26.3.08

Then we made the mommies happy and posed for some photos …

Noah and Luca 2

Then, Luca laid down the law. He let me know that just because I was bigger, he was still older and wasn’t going to take any poop from me! And to be honest, I believed him!!

Luca's Law

But I wasn’t going to sit there and not say anything back, so I did what came to my mind first…. I stuck out my tongue and made a fist to show that I also mean business… when I can be bothered.

Noah Strikes Back

After we agreed that we knew where we both stood, we chilled out and decided to teach each other our local gang signs…

Flashing Signs

Then I fell asleep. And we ate and slept some more and cried a bit too. All in all, it was a great day and I can’t wait to see my friend, Luca, again!!

Snippet of a conversation held in our house over the weekend whilst my Daddy was feeding me (via a bottle, people!).

Daddy: I feel like I am making Human Fois Gras

Mommy: No-Ah Gras!

They thought it was hilarious. I didn’t get it. I still don’t, but apparently it has something to do with the fact that I sometimes fall asleep mid-burping. They say it like it’s a bad thing!

Mid Burp

What a life!

If you ask me, they’re just jealous!

Noah and Daddy in the bath

This morning I had another first. A first I might be embarrassed about had it happened when I was 16, but at 25 days old I was more than happy to have this experience: I had a bath with my Daddy. It was so much more fun than when my parents sit me in my own bath or the kitchen sink. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy getting clean and I really like warm water, but this was better. I got to float on my back (with my Daddy’s help) and there was SO MUCH ROOM. When I sat in the water, so much more of my body was covered.. it was GREAT!

That is, until my parents decided to wet my head by dunking me. There was a short conversation that went as follows:

Daddy: I don’t want to be the first person to dunk him.

Mommy: Oh just do it, he won’t care.

Daddy: Babies are instinctively supposed to hold their breath under water.

Mommy: They are, but probably not this one.

That’s right, she acknowledged that I wouldn’t do it… and they did it anyway. There was a brief moment there that I wished I could have new parents. It was about the moment when they brought me back up and water was shooting out of my nose. Luckily for them, my memory is akin to a goldfish’s at this point in my life and once they started to shampoo my head it was all good. Well mostly. My coos turned into unhappy noises, but I was no longer angry, just confused as to why people who say they love me all day long would do such a thing to me.

My Mommy saved me from it all and warmed me up in a towel and got me dressed in some sweats and it was like nothing ever happened.

I dread the day where I remember what they do to me for longer than a minute at a time.

Warm and Cozy

Since BoB is now Noah, we felt it was time to retire this blog and to give Noah his own piece of the Internet.

To keep up with the goings on in the life of Noah Alexander James, please follow the link below!

GrumpyPumps.co.uk

Edit: If you cannot get to this site because DNS has not updated, you can also visit grumpypumps.kasta.co.uk which has a copy. 

Today the Easter Bunny came to visit me. It looked an awful lot like my Mommy in a nose and some ears. My parents have explained that she is not the real Easter Bunny, just an odd person who does odd things.

Mommy Bunny and Noah

Now it looks like I’ve got a half smile going on and I do, but not because I am amused by the weirdo that is my Mommy, but because I decided to fart (or “fuss” as my Mommy calls it..or “pump” hence the name of this blog!) as my Daddy took the photo!

Noah's First Easter Loot

Now the look on my face can be described as “awe”. I had no idea that there was anything in the giant orange felt thing that they posed me with!!! Let alone that it was filled with shiny things that I could look at, touch, but not eat, and these other things that seemed to excite my Mommy and Daddy more than me. And there then was this big blue outfit that was almost bigger than my entire bed! What’s that all about!?

Little did they know that all they had to do was fill a bag with that crinkly orange paper!! I loved that stuff!!

Once upon a time there was a baby waiting to be born that everyone called “BoB”. That guy was me. At least until the 28th February 2008 at 3.13am when I arrived and my Mommy and Daddy found out that I was a boy and changed my name to Noah Alexander James.

This was me then:

Freshie Noah

I am now 24 days old and it has taken my Mommy and Daddy this long to get this page going. I’ve learnt that they can be a bit slow at getting around to doing things, such as ordering my birth announcements (that’s right, I’m talking about you Mommy!!).

A lot has happened in the past three weeks and my Mommy has wanted to write about it, but doesn’t want to start this off with 40 posts, so we will start fresh from here. So Happy Easter to everyone (that celebrates it) and I hope you enjoy my adventures as I discover the world outside of my parents’ bedroom day by day…. and enjoy the photos of my parents being cruel to me and dressing me up in assorted outfits that I will grow up to hate them for doing.

I guess I should have actually given the details!!!

The Baby Formerly Known As BoB is now known as:

Noah Alexander James Brotherston

Estimated Due Date: 19.02.08

Actual Arrival Date: 28.02.08

Time: 3.13am

Weight: 9lb 10oz