Who Are You? Who Who? Who Who?

Remember in December when I packed off my not so little boy and sent him to pre-school a whopping 9 hours a week?  And for those 3 hours on each of those 3 afternoons I would cry when I got home because I thought I was breaking him.  I thought that my already anxiety ridden ball of WhoNeedsToLeaveTheHouseToHaveFun was going to turn into the toddler version of that guy who still lives in his Mom’s basement when he’s 45 and just does a Butthead type giggle whenever any female speaks within 20 feet of him.  And honestly, the outside world needs his cuteness in it, so I couldn’t be turning him into a hermit.

Everyone tried to be supportive and offered up their own anecdotes about when their little Alfie or Olivia first started and how they would cry a bit and didn’t want to go.  The only thing is that their children weren’t having full on panic attacks at the sight of the school shirt.

So I crossed my fingers and started to bribe Noah.  Each day he went through the whole three hours without crying he’d get a treat.  Some days he’d score a little car and on others he would get a special snack.  And just when my momma expressed concern that he’s start expecting the reward for doing something ‘normal’, he started to change.  He’d still get a bit nervous before going, and sometimes there would be sniffles when we got there, but one day he just up and walked away when we got inside and went about his day.

Hello?!  Where’s your detachment disorder?! Where is your need for one more hug.  Just one more!!  And why don’t you want to take your school shirt off?? It was like a practical joke.  I’d be dreaming of the moment to arrive but couldn’t believe it could actually be here.

 

21 june school

Then different key workers would say random things when I would drop him off or pick him up: “Noah’s so lovely” “It is great to have Noah back from holidays. I really missed him. ” “Noah had the all of the kids laughing” “Noah is the sweetest boy” .  Of course, I wanted to be able to just believe everything because it’s a wonderful feeling when someone else says things that reflect what you think about your own child.  But I am me.  I smiled and nodded and gave a “a ha haha” when I thought appropriate and figured that everyone got the same lines, because I am cynical to the core.

Plus, I’d never seen Noah at school beyond the drop off and pick up.  Parents are welcome to volunteer, but not if you have another child with you.  I had to rely on their word for how each day went.  Not that I don’t ask Noah as soon as we get in the car, but some days I get told he had an alligator sandwich for snack, so his word isn’t really worth that much.

The first time I got to see him in a setting with other children and an authority figure he wasn’t related to, was at Mini-Strikers.  Oh the joy that came over him as soon as he walked into the village hall.  It was like a whole different child crossed the threshold when I opened the door.  Okay, his listening skills… need work.  But it wasn’t a disobedience thing as much as an overflowing with excitement.  He shares well (until someone snatches his ball/racquet/beanbag and then sulks a bit), interacts with the other children, adores Mr. Andy and wants to include Amy in every activity.  It was and continues to be an amazing thing to see.

 

22 june Mr. Andy

So I shouldn’t have been, but totally was, overcome with emotion when at a Teddy Bear’s Picnic that the pre-school was part of, I got to see Noah interact with the staff at the school.  My little Nervous Norman was so comfortable with them, so happy to share his excitement and achievements.  And the responses they gave to him completely warmed my cynical heart.  Their smiles were genuine, their affection honest and they were as happy for him as he was for himself.  The best part was that they didn’t even know I was watching since I was with Amy trying to keep her from jumping off of a balance beam.

My baby boy is growing up in so many ways.  I am so proud of him and so so happy for him.  We’ve got roughly 3948 more anxieties to work through, but this has been huge.  I have no idea what happens when he walks through the doors of his school, but whatever it is … works.   I am so sad now that he will be leaving at the end of the month.  Let’s hope I don’t break what they’ve fixed because Noah 2.0 ROCKS*!!!

 

22 June race

 

22 June balls

22 June run

*Noah 1.0 ROCKED too.  But this version is even better!

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