Trick or Treat?

It’s a good thing that I don’t get paid to write this thing, huh?  I mean, who disappears for nearly three months without a word.  Well, other than the words I’ve written on Twitter or Facebook.  Or BBM and texts and emails.  But yeah, barely a word.

Well, if you are moving to a new continent (not new to me… but new to live for Lee and the midgets) and then doing the look for a job, a house and car thing, then you sprinkle a bit of stressing over when the hell your stuff from Point A is going to arrive in Point B … you might slack in other areas too.

Especially if when you arrive you start feeling ill.

For the first weeks we were here, all I basically said was: I’m freezing! Am I getting a cold? Is that an earache coming on? Fuckity Fuck Fuck.. we have no doctor.. I can’t be sick!!  Ugh, my stomach hurts.   I need to sleep.  My back. My ovary.  I think I’m going to be sick!!

Then I peed on a stick.  I mean there was no way right?  I mean there is a way.  But chances were super-duper-practically-totally impossible.  Only, less than 2 minutes later I was met with THIS:

yes plus

 

YES +?!  + what?!  Plus a new car? Plus more babies?!   A simple YES would have been cool.  Though, to be honest, a NO would have also been most excellent.

So I tried to do the math.  Only one date fit and it still made no sense.  But there wasn’t any other possibility.  Unless out of nowhere I’ve developed a crazy sleepwalking habit where I slang my wares to random strangers in my sleep.  Only I think someone would have noticed.  I HOPE someone would have noticed.

With our shaky history, we didn’t want to say much.   Plus we were just about to take on a huge mortgage and having started basically from scratch when we got here, the reality of adding an extra mouth to feed and diaper was and remains TERRIFYING.  And that economic car that we bought with the astronomical insurance because I am ‘new’ … in the land where I got my license …  it doesn’t fit three car seats.

So we kept it pretty quiet.  I didn’t even get any medical personnel involved until last week, when I went to my first midwife appointment.  There we discussed the fact that stomach was out of control and I couldn’t believe how much it had grown for only 9 weeks.  So I got sent to have a dating scan to make sure that there was only one and that nothing was going crazy up in there.

It’s so not like in England.  I had to go to a generic lab where they were doing x-rays and ultrasounds for a variety of things.  They don’t have the flat screens for you to watch and they don’t tell you what they are doing as they click away on their keyboard right next to you.   Luckily for me I got a chatty technician and after she was done the official stuff, she gave me a look at all the vital parts and I made a comment about that looking more baby like than I thought 10 weeks would be and she came back with …

That baby isn’t 10 weeks.  That baby is 14 weeks.

Plus One Chillaxing

Say what?

How?

Who?

Huh?

I couldn’t figure out the math or how on earth that was possible.  I still can’t get over how it is.. but it is.

And holy shit! I have a whole less month to prepare.  This is crazy.  I am crazy.  I need time to spread out the crazy.

I sat up like a bolt of lightning. But I got drunk! Like stinking drunk! She said what was done was done and the baby looks fine and healthy.  Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t decide to start shooting up as my last hurrah before leaving England.

So I walked out of the appointment yesterday on a cloud.  A cloud made of crack.  YAY no twins!  But where’d I lose a month!?  Why the hell am I still SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nauseous?!!?  Am I going to fit into the seats at the ACC on the 17th of December when my presence is required to cheer on my Canucks when they skate into town?  And what kind of car fits three car seats, that isn’t a minivan?!  Does it exist?!

That last one was serious.  Does it exist?!

So here, for all of the Internet to see is the tiny person we’ve been calling +1.  Though Noah has put in a demand to change his/her name to Hamster.

Hamster Brotherston.

Bebe Frontin

I know. That shot makes the baby look like a Mii. S/he has their Halloween costume already!

This one make me worry about the stomach to butt ratio.

Babys Got Back

That is one tiny bum! Perhaps this baby will finally inherit the long leg, normal thigh, non-J-Lo butt combo that has escaped the other two!

I guess we’ll see in April!

Comments
3 Responses to “Trick or Treat?”
  1. Cathy says:

    That baby is one cute hamster! Hooray for April! Can’t wait because I finally get to be here to hold one of your newborns and I don’t have wait to meet him/her!

  2. Nancy says:

    I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must be with all the changes in your life! Huge congratulations to all of you! You will certainly have your hands (and your car) full.

  3. Robin says:

    Welcome Back! You still have your wonderful sense of humour through all this!
    I think Hamster Brotherson has a nice ring to it. Maybe you could bungee cord a seat on the roof of your car? Or, maybe, you could wait a couple months and get yourselves that mini van. Just take care of yourself and everything will fall into place, you have lots and lots of support here and you will be fine! xo

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