Rankish Teapants

But it is…
Going to be great.

That is me right now. Not a hand tearing through a hole, but a massive fucked off bundle of nerves. I am scared of thinking, because when I think I realise there are more things I need to do or that I forgot to do.

What do you buy a three year old as a thank you for being in your wedding? What do you buy the best man for that matter? Where is the thank you gift I ordered for my step father? Am I going to remember to by special wedding pants?!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… at times like this I wish I had a penis.

Not really.

But men have it so easy. I mean they say the wedding is all about the bride, which truly pisses me off to be honest, and I guess that means that is should be she who is left to deal with everything. And no, I am not trying to slag Lee off. It is just hard when you are not at all bridal. I’ve not had this planned since I was 8 years old. I’ve not been pining for a perfect wedding for years. It is two weeks until the day and I STILL have no fucking clue what I am supposed to be doing or what I should have done by now.

What I do know, is that I feel like I am drifting out to sea alone and at a time when I am supposed to be feeling an enormous amount of love and support.

Oh well, I guess this is another example of something not killing you making you stronger. It better be anyway. If I am not stronger after this, I am going to have words. Not quite sure who those words will be with, but there will words. Count on it.

Fuck me. I thought the blues were supposed to come post wedding when there was nothing left to look forward to, not before the wedding!

See.. I am doing it ALL wrong.

All that junk inside that trunk??

My Arcus Pubis is KILLING me.

Thanks to my out of shapeness + no car + Asda not being in walking distance + not having computer paper at home…. it hurts when I sit.

Ouch.

If I knew how to use photoshop I would show you that the arc at the bottom… on me.. that should be flaming red with little angry faces all over.

That is how our year ended.

Yes, I know I already posted pictures from out New Year’s Eve 2 Man Celebration, and this happened the day before that, but it is my blog so deal with it!

There we were, two kids in love looking forward towards another blissful year together… when reality (in the shape of a red Nissan Micra) decides to pull in front of us …panick and not move out of the way. CRUNCH. That is the sound of a car hitting reality apparently.

Fortunately for us, we are fine and our car was far heavier.

Unfortunately for us, the car now looks like this….

In good news.. we are getting a fridge delivered tomorrow. Whoopity Doo!!! And a courtesy car. So long as it is not Lee’s old Escort, it will be okay. Knock on wood and all that shit.

And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

Happpy 2006, Everyone!!

Unlike most other years which I’ve spent at properly organised dinner/dance type things or partying it up on the beaches of the Caribbean or being bitten at pubs, last night was a mellow stay-at-home deal with no friends but LOADS of fun and happiness.

We started the night by having dinner outside under the twinkly parasol and next to the barbeque for warmth. We dined on an entire cow’s worth of cheese as we dipped various things into our bubbling fondues. We also had some little nibbles like curry on mini naan bread and sesame prawn toast. Mmmmmmmmmm

The Spread:

Conversation and a Bowl of Death (a slightly alcoholic punch. By slightly I mean: vodka, gin, mango rum and archers in varying but vast amounts) flowed and helped us keep warm in the mild but no quite summertime night.

As you can see, we were quite happy (or sozzled) to be outside:

That is until we took the party inside and popped some champers to bring in the New Year with some class (or not so much) Brit television and the aide of party horns.

After admitting that I am not so great with the horns, especially when I try and blow three at a time, we heard fireworks being let off around the house, so we got our coats on and went for a walk around the lake out back. It was great! A virtual 360 of explosions of colour. It made up for the fact that I forgot to blow the confetti thing at midnight or get out the sparklers I was so proud of buying. Plus the walk helped take a little wobble out of my step and we got to be wished Happy New Year by 6 chavvy kids.

All I can say, is BRING ON 2006!!! We are more than ready for you and so happy you are finally here at last!!