Rankish Teapants

Dumpling you wan? Dumpling you a go get!

My mother called me yesterday for advice on how I make dumplings. To be honest, I panicked. I hadn’t made dumplings in a long time because they were not what Lee was used to the one time I made them and he seemed a bit scared of my “spinners”. So I hung up the dumpling skills and trudged through life without the constant love of a good dumpling.

It was alright though, because when we’d go to St.Kitts I’d always get to have them at least once when Ida (my grandmom’s cook) made us lunch. You might wonder how one serving could hold you, but her dumplings are normally quite massive and they take roughly 3 months to digest.

So I looked up recipes that agreed with what I thought was in a dumpling and we settled on what she needed. It was all I ever used for them, so how could it be wrong, right?

That was until today when I decided to make some stewed beef with dumplings. Now, I didn’t go off setting to outshine her or to make better dumplings, I just wanted to make an edible dinner for Lee. I decided to see if there were any fancy pants recipes out there on the internet in case I needed any ingredients that I was missing. That is when I stumbled upon a photo of stewed beef with herb dumplings that said it was taken from a cookbook…. that I happened to own.

Well, it looked good on there, so it had to look good for me, right? Not so much. I mean it did look and taste awesome, I just meant that usually my recreations are not that close to the real thing.

But low and behold… I think I did even better. And Momma, I’ve got a new recipe for dumplings! Ones that even Lee consumed happily…two bowls full and is having it for lunch tomorrow!

I only ask one thing of you now, Don’t Hate Me Because My Dumplings Are Beautiful…

…comes in the form of Jell-O Pudding.

Most women when they are approaching their baby’s due date think about rational things like “what will my husband eat when I am in the hospital”. That is assuming they will be staying in for longer than 12 hours. They also think “I won’t have the time or energy to cook when I get back so I should prepare some meals ahead of time”.

Now, you and I both know that I don’t often fit into the “normal” category in regards to…well … anything. So this morning instead of getting back to bed to make myself feel better after a morning of sick tummy and pretend contractions, I went downstairs after I had a brainwave. “Aha!” I thought to myself “If I do go into labour today, I know what will be good for Lee and I to eat before we go… some Jell-O Pudding”.

So I whipped a box of the powdered chocolate fudge goodness off of the shelf and proceeded to whisk up some deliciousness. I looked at it and thought “yes, that looks good, but it is missing something”, so I whipped a box of Vanilla goodness off of the shelf, whipped it up and poured it on top of the chocolate fudge flavour that was already setting.

I dipped a little spoon in to make sure that I hadn’t left any grainy lumps or bumps and when I tasted it, I realised that if more people got to experience the greatness of Jell-O Pudding, there would be a lot of happier people in the world. If there were a lot of happier people in the world, there would be more love, less hatred, which means less wars… which means world peace eventually.

You can laugh all you want now, but in 20 years when some other not so normal person comes out with it, they’ll get a Nobel Peace Prize and I’ll be too busy eating my pudding to be upset about it.

*insert grumbling here*

I should have known it was going to happen. It is almost like reliving the 27th of January 1991 all over again. Only this time where was no Scott Norwood and my beloved Bills were nowhere to be found. But I held out hope that Tom Brady and the New England Patriots could finally ease some of the pain that has lingered since that cold January day in hell when that ball which was meant to go between the uprights was sent wide right instead, letting down every Bills fan – whether they were closeted one or loud and proud ones.

But noooo, they couldn’t do it for us could they. As a Bills fan, I am supposed to hate that Pats, but ever since I went to Boston one US Thanksgiving and saw and felt the love that New Englanders had for their team on that special day, I haven’t been able to hate them. I associate the team with “Happy Family Moments” and it is hard to disassociate yourself from an experience like that. So I’ve gone on loving my Bills and liking me some Pats. And I do want to hate them today. I do want to say that the Giants didn’t deserve it, because after a perfect season you want to just say “Screw the Superbowl, give the Pats the trophy now”. But all it takes is one game and if you don’t bring it, you don’t bring it.

The only up side is that Randy Moss didn’t get to win! That helps ease the pain… a lot.