Rankish Teapants

And the Brits have the nerve to say that the Americans and Canadians can’t spell:

It was the best of months… it was the worst of months…

Overall, I think we can say that Month 5 was our most successful to date. Though it started out and ended on very sour notes. Or rather the notes of your screams when you realise the person you want to put you to bed, isn’t the one doing it.

You started the month being babysat by your Nan and Granddad, and what looked like it was going to be a smooth night apparently went to pot 20 minutes after we’d left the house. You exercised your lungs, determination and charm as you let them know you were not taking this babysitting lying down, however you are too cute to get mad at so don’t give up on me just yet.

All I can say is that they are very patient people.

Perhaps in line with your mood and my parenting skills, the weather also fluctuated greatly this month. We started off with lovely sunshine and took advantage of it by going to London where you were absolutely amazing beyond my wildest dreams. Other than that little bit in the restaurant where you wanted to sleep, but I had to be holding you so my lunch went stone cold, and as soon as your daddy was done his and was going to take over you fell asleep.

This also month also marked the milestone of If It Can Fit In My Mouth And Even If It Can’t Really .. It’s Going In My Mouth.

Toys, clothes, electronics, books, body parts and even plastic bags if you can manage to grab one. Mostly, you love FOOD going in your mouth. So much so that we’ve taken to having to trick you when it is meal time. The food portion of the meal has to stay out of the room that you are having your bottle in until it is done because you squirm and wriggle in an effort to look over our arms, shoulders, the sofa, the highchair, etc. in order to find the food that awaits you at the end.

That being said, you are an AMAZING eater so far. Okay, so you went off of avocado as soon as you went on it, but I haven’t given up there!! You seem more into your “stodge” (don’t know the spelling as it is a word I’ve only learnt since moving over here) like sweet potato and squash or peas, potatoes and carrots mixed. And of course mango. Mango and banana. You could alternate those two for every meal if I’d allow it!

It’s good that you’re eating though because you need the energy as we’ve got our Gymboree membership now and the half hour constant play wears you out. It’s too bad they don’t have that class nightly at about 6pm, so we could avoid the pre-sleep struggle.

That is one this that I am struggling to understand. You hate going to bed at night. Hate hate hate it. Even when you’re exhausted you don’t want to go. Yet you wake up in the morning all Mr. Happy, have your bottle and a quick play with daddy and then you cuddle up to me and fall back asleep… for two hours. Those two hours would be SO much better if you got them at night. Trust me, I know what I am talking about because I need those two hours too!

Though we cannot really complain. Yes, you still wake in the night, though not for feeds or to be changed, but because you’ve dropped your soother. We’re working on this though. At least now you will roll yourself back over if you end up on your back, so it has cut down your waking incidents. And as frustrated as we are that you’ve become a true sleep burglar, it is hard to be upset when we walk into your room to find you on your back smiling like a complete maniac back up at us.

The smiles are not just part of your waking routine either. You seem to find the world a funnier place these days and you love to flirt with everyone when we’re out of the house. Inside the house you blow hot and cold. You can start to cry and it is a laugh within seconds or you will be smiling and talking and then just cry. I’ve not worked that part out yet. I’m not even close, but so long as there are smiles it can’t be all that bad right?

Along with the increase in smiles, you laugh… a lot. You even laugh at yourself. I wish I knew what you were saying, but I know that you find yourself funny and you actually are funny when you do something and then look at us with that Aren’t I The Funniest Person? expression on your face! Yes, you are the funniest… most of the time. Definitely funnier than your daddy. Not so sure if you’re funnier than me. That may seem mean, but I’m still struggling with losing the Boss position within the household, so cut me some slack.

This month also marked a full month without a visit to the doctor, though you have now been to the dentist and you were a superstar. I swear, if you acted at home as you do in public, I’d be putting you into The Best Baby Of The Year competition. Well wait, most of the time when you are in public. Though I guess your nan and granddad’s house and Luca’s house aren’t really public.

That’s right… as you started the month exercising your lungs, you ended it that way. Though to be fair, I didn’t witness most of it at your grandparents’ as it was when I’d gone out with the girls. So I’ll let you off and take the blame for that one. Plus, you were pretty happy the rest of the time!!

I cannot really complain about this month. It is hard when you hear about every other baby sleeping through the night and seeming to be perfect little angels, but you never really know what happens behind closed doors and although I do still doubt my possession of a maternal instinct and my ability to raise you the best way and right way, you seem to be doing alright. And you seem to love me still, even though I make you go to sleep at night, I take you shopping, I won’t share all of my food with you, I ..on the very rare occasion… go out and leave you with other family members and all of the other horrible things I do.

I’m still working on being a better mommy and learning to enjoy all parts of it, even the difficult ones, and I have to thank you for doing the little things which make it easier. At the end of this month you’ve started to lay your head on my shoulder out of the blue and just sit there for a few moments before you want to go off and bounce all over the place again.

If that alone was the only thing you’d started to do this month, it would have made all of the tears, nights of broken sleep, confusion and frustration over lack of ability to communicate between baby and parent, and the endless times you pee on us… all worth it.

You’re starting to break me, Noha. It’s the scariest feeling I’ve ever felt, but I look forward to even more.

Happy Five Months, Grumpy Pumps.
Mommy Love You!

When did we become 75?

Every street has one. That house where you know if you step foot on the lawn, whether purposefully to get to your friend’s house quicker .. or completely by accident when you were using the curb as a balance beam, that from out of nowhere the occupant of that house is going to appear to tell you to “get off my lawn!!”. Usually it is an older, retired person or couple. The parents on the street try and sympathise in the beginning, but after being told countless times how rude or badly brought up their child(ren) is/are, they too begin to lose patience.

Lee and I are that couple.

In fact, it is midnight and Lee has just hopped into the car in search of the loud music that is thumping somewhere in our neighbourhood and preventing us from having a restful sleep. Or any sleep. When we finds out where it is coming from, he will return home and we will decide whether to lodge a complaint directly (if this is coming from a business) or if we should call the police to register a noise complaint.

That’s right, we’re old, we’re tired and we’re crotchety. If you don’t like it, too bad.

I always grew up saying that I was never going to be like my parents. Instead of focusing on how I’d rather be, I’ve ended up becoming that neighbour .. or my Dad. After all, he is the man that demanded that they turn the music down one evening when we were having dinner… in a pub.

As a sickly Lee and a not himself Noah lay sleeping in our bed, I took the opportunity to arm myself with cleaning products and get to scrubbing the washroom. I sat cross legged in front of the toilet and as I scrubbed I thought to myself how great my life is. Not perfect, but great. And it’s really not that far from perfect: if I had my Dad back and airfare was cheaper so I could visit my family more often.. oh and we didn’t live in Milton Keynes, it could well be considered perfect.

Sure, I may cry a lot and still be completely overwhelmed with this motherhood thing. But I have the most amazing husband who loves me despite the fact that I am… well, me.. and I have a baby boy who is generally very healthy and happy and love love loves me to no end. It can get a bit exhausting and it is not easy when it comes to bedtime and he refuses for anyone else to dare settle him. But when he was only a few days and a few weeks old, I wished for the time where he’d be able to show me that he loved me back.. if in fact he did. So I can’t really complain now when he wails because he wants Mommy.

Who would have thought even five years ago that I would be living in England, in the same house as someone else, someone who actually decided they wanted to spend the rest of their life with me, and raising an amazing little boy who somehow grew to be the size of a toddler before making his appearance.

I’m happy scrubbing the toilet when I know I’ve got these two here with me. I’m happy doing the laundry and sweeping the floor. I’m happy to be steaming veg and making purees that will end up on me, the sofa, the floor, the highchair, the Bumbo and every piece of clothing that Noah owns. Sometimes I’ve just got to take time out and look at my reflection in the sparkling toilet to realise it.

I’m a little late in getting to this month’s recap.

To be honest with you, this month has been a bit of a blur. There were a lot of “firsts” and then the teething started and then you found your strength. Not that you haven’t always been strong, but now you know it. You especially know it when you’re in a bed. Your need to do last minute push-ups or to roll yourself over have caused untold frustration, though as your parents we take partial blame as we can’t help but laugh which encourages you. And you always seem to end up flat on your back, arms in the air with a huge smile on your face.

That’s another thing. You’ve become a regular Guy Smiley this month. That is, when you don’t have something in your mouth: a soother, your hand, a towel, your clothes, a toy, a spoon…whatever you can get in there!!! We have started a war of No Hands with you, and currently it is at a stalemate. Some days we are winning and then the next day you’ll pull the rug out from under us and no amount of “No hands, Noah” and physically removing your fist from your mouth will do. Even when you gag yourself resulting in spitting up… you stick them right back in. Both if you can do it.

One thing that you have been enjoying in your mouth even more than your hand is food. That’s right, we’ve started you on The Real Stuff. Okay, so we went earlier than the so called guidelines that change constantly, but we were struggling to make you wait from one feed to the other. That and you were and still are far more interested in watching people eat than doing whatever it is you were doing before you saw/smelled/heard the food. And we feel no guilt because you LOVE the food. So much so that you often attempt to launch yourself off of Daddy’s lap when I get the spoon close to your face. So far you’ve only had Baby Rice (it was okay when it was the only thing going) but moved onto Superfood Porridge (which is so much nicer) which you think is GREAT, but not as great as carrot which to you is similar to what coconut cream pie was to your Uncle Scotty in the Bahamas. Then you tried Sweet Potato which although not quite carrot, you still enjoy and then corn. You’re not too sure about this one though seem to gobble it up, perhaps just because it is food.

We have been struggling to get you to drink anything that isn’t formula though. You’re not a water man at all.

When you’re not busy trying to eat foreign objects or purees, you’ve been giving us a sort of running commentary on your day. At least most days. Some days you prefer to remain the strong silent type who thinks before he speaks. Thinks A LOT before he speaks.

And although sometimes it seems like it would take a nation of millions to shut you up, we love it. We encourage it! Especially when you give a little laugh while you’re talking. Like you are sharing an inside joke with us. Only we don’t get the joke, but we pretend we do… because really, we wish we did.

I’ve also tried to be more patient this month. I’ve tried my hardest to remember that you are a lot younger than your appearance and strength would lead us to believe. And now when you cry in public, I give you cuddles and sing quietly to you rather than tell Daddy that we need to leave RIGHT NOW and run off to the car hoping that he remembered to bring you along behind me. It’s taken me 4 months, but I am relaxing. Mostly. We try things with you and if you like them …GREAT.. if you don’t, at least we know. Before I’d just be worried or stressed. Now, now I just realise that you’re doing the best you can as fast as you can and there’s only so much a little dude can do when they are only coming up to 4 months old. So you don’t have to worry about cooking Christmas dinner this year, we’ll hold off until you’re at least three. Which seems like it will be here faster than we know.

Along those lines, please slow it down. I’ve just come to the realisation that my stresses and worries were making me rush things along and now that I know that I need to be calm and to enjoy every moment, I’d like the chance to.

Plus, until you sleep through the night, I won’t get to sleep through the night. This means that when you start to crawl (which you are trying SO very hard to do, yet only managing to go backwards so far) or walk (I hope there is a little time between them) I will be even more exhausted. So yes, let’s work on the sleep and THEN we can focus on the growing up.

Until then, let’s take each day as it comes .. good or bad.. and try and get through them together. You, me and your Daddy. I’m learning this whole patience thing and hope you can forgive me for being so slow… and in return have a little more patience with me. Especially when it comes to how slow I move when getting food to your mouth or milk in your bottles or how long I take to dry/cream/powder you up after the bath. And I really really really beg for more patience when we are finished swimming and getting back into our dry clothes. Especially when there are so many other Mommies in the changeroom and you decide to scream like you belong to someone else and I’ve just scooped you out of the pool pretending that you’re mine.

That’d be great. Thanks.

Happy Four Months, Grumpy Pumps.
Mommy Loves You!

P.S: We have swimming this Friday. Just a Head’s Up!