22.11.11 I need more toys

I know.

He’s cute.

This often works in his favour.

It is extremely hard to have those super huge brown eyes look into your yours and deny what they are asking for.

Except when you are sat in the middle of the basement that looks like it has been raining Toys R Us for 40 days and 40 nights and the owner of those eyes turns to you and says:

I need more toys, Mommy.

Remember in December when I packed off my not so little boy and sent him to pre-school a whopping 9 hours a week?  And for those 3 hours on each of those 3 afternoons I would cry when I got home because I thought I was breaking him.  I thought that my already anxiety ridden ball of WhoNeedsToLeaveTheHouseToHaveFun was going to turn into the toddler version of that guy who still lives in his Mom’s basement when he’s 45 and just does a Butthead type giggle whenever any female speaks within 20 feet of him.  And honestly, the outside world needs his cuteness in it, so I couldn’t be turning him into a hermit.

Everyone tried to be supportive and offered up their own anecdotes about when their little Alfie or Olivia first started and how they would cry a bit and didn’t want to go.  The only thing is that their children weren’t having full on panic attacks at the sight of the school shirt.

So I crossed my fingers and started to bribe Noah.  Each day he went through the whole three hours without crying he’d get a treat.  Some days he’d score a little car and on others he would get a special snack.  And just when my momma expressed concern that he’s start expecting the reward for doing something ‘normal’, he started to change.  He’d still get a bit nervous before going, and sometimes there would be sniffles when we got there, but one day he just up and walked away when we got inside and went about his day.

Hello?!  Where’s your detachment disorder?! Where is your need for one more hug.  Just one more!!  And why don’t you want to take your school shirt off?? It was like a practical joke.  I’d be dreaming of the moment to arrive but couldn’t believe it could actually be here.


21 june school

Then different key workers would say random things when I would drop him off or pick him up: “Noah’s so lovely” “It is great to have Noah back from holidays. I really missed him. ” “Noah had the all of the kids laughing” “Noah is the sweetest boy” .  Of course, I wanted to be able to just believe everything because it’s a wonderful feeling when someone else says things that reflect what you think about your own child.  But I am me.  I smiled and nodded and gave a “a ha haha” when I thought appropriate and figured that everyone got the same lines, because I am cynical to the core.

Plus, I’d never seen Noah at school beyond the drop off and pick up.  Parents are welcome to volunteer, but not if you have another child with you.  I had to rely on their word for how each day went.  Not that I don’t ask Noah as soon as we get in the car, but some days I get told he had an alligator sandwich for snack, so his word isn’t really worth that much.

The first time I got to see him in a setting with other children and an authority figure he wasn’t related to, was at Mini-Strikers.  Oh the joy that came over him as soon as he walked into the village hall.  It was like a whole different child crossed the threshold when I opened the door.  Okay, his listening skills… need work.  But it wasn’t a disobedience thing as much as an overflowing with excitement.  He shares well (until someone snatches his ball/racquet/beanbag and then sulks a bit), interacts with the other children, adores Mr. Andy and wants to include Amy in every activity.  It was and continues to be an amazing thing to see.


22 june Mr. Andy

So I shouldn’t have been, but totally was, overcome with emotion when at a Teddy Bear’s Picnic that the pre-school was part of, I got to see Noah interact with the staff at the school.  My little Nervous Norman was so comfortable with them, so happy to share his excitement and achievements.  And the responses they gave to him completely warmed my cynical heart.  Their smiles were genuine, their affection honest and they were as happy for him as he was for himself.  The best part was that they didn’t even know I was watching since I was with Amy trying to keep her from jumping off of a balance beam.

My baby boy is growing up in so many ways.  I am so proud of him and so so happy for him.  We’ve got roughly 3948 more anxieties to work through, but this has been huge.  I have no idea what happens when he walks through the doors of his school, but whatever it is … works.   I am so sad now that he will be leaving at the end of the month.  Let’s hope I don’t break what they’ve fixed because Noah 2.0 ROCKS*!!!


22 June race


22 June balls

22 June run

*Noah 1.0 ROCKED too.  But this version is even better!



You are three.  THREE.  How is this even possible?  Everyone says that 0-1 is jammed full of changes and that it goes by so quickly, but they don’t tell you that 1-2 is just as full and well 2-3 is bursting at the seams.

This past year, all traces of my oversized newborn with the huge dark eyes have all but disappeared.   Sure, you still like a cuddle from your momma (or MOMee these days), but you are definitely a big boy now.

Noah 005e

Aside from the whole diaper thing.  That’s right, Internet, my son is three and isn’t potty trained.  Guess what, we don’t care.  He’s not interested and it’s not a race.  So thank you for any words of wisdom you were about to bless us with, but we’re all full up.

Anyway, where were we.  Oh yeah, the change from 2-3.   A lot of kids start talking in the 1-2 year.  Not you so much.  And when I say so much I really mean not really much at all .. like nearly none.  In fact, you held tightly to your chest the 4 or 5 words you needed to say and used signs and other methods of getting your point across to communicate the rest.   Holy frustrating, Batman.  There were tears .. lots of tears.  From you, from me, from the neighbours who had to listen to you and me.  But on the 31st of August, right after you turned 2.5, you said ‘dane’.  Yeah, I know, not a word.  But it was what you were calling a plane.  You pointed at the sky and showed me a dane.  And then another one and another one.

Although you were already quite the toddler, it was at that moment that you started shaking the remaining baby away.  The little 1-2 year old that had hung around since your sister came along was finally ready to leave.

1st March 2009

As excited as I was, it was a bit sad to lose the last of my baby boy.  You’d always been a pretty independent child .. aside from bedtime where you want one of us to Criss Cross Apple Sauce you or count to 100.. or foot rub.. back rub… etc.  But with words, came less dependence on me.  It was both liberating and sad.  Luckily, your little sister is made of Velcro and I couldn’t mourn the loss too long.

To think of it, before the words came, you started to assert your independence.  Like when we flew to Jamaica and you thought you were plenty old enough to go to the bar yourself  .. and not even 2.5.  Or help yourself to the ice cream that called your name all hours of the day.

This year you did a lot of traveling.  It kills me that you will not remember these trips when you get older, because each one had a huge impact on how you developed from 2 to 3.  Jamaica saw you lose some of your fear of letting me out of your sight.  It took a while, but when you warmed up to Zed and Kadie you acted like you didn’t need us.  It was great!!

noah is 2


When we got back, your relationship with Nanny went from strength to strength.  You started to abandon your ‘warm up’ period and in fact would barrel through the door and head straight for the toys in the living room.  It doesn’t hurt that she is willing to play whatever game you want .. even if that game is jumping up and down … and up and down… and up and down….

After a few months at home, we went to Canada where you got to see all of your cousins again and Christian for the first time.  We’d thought that you and Calleigh wouldn’t take any interest in each other, but you actually played together.  That trip marked the first time since you were 4 months old that Daddy and I went out to dinner without you.  We were terrified, but you were a star; a sad star, but a star anyway.  You started to talk a little more as you seem to do whenever Kadie and Zed are around and you became addicted to Dora.

2 to 3 seems to be the period where you started allowing girly things into your life.  Dora and Peppa are you favourite drawn women ever.  I am sure over the next year or so you’ll start distancing yourself from them saying that it’s for girls, but for now you love them.  And it’s cute.  Annoying when you demand to watch them when they aren’t on, but cute.

Once again you returned with more words and better communication.  Your friendship with Nanny got even closer and you started to ask to go to her house.  Though your best friend remained ‘Adie’.  You hated her touching your things, and pretty much still do, but you loved that she shared her things with you, laughed with you and also thinks your parents are a few clowns short of a circus.   It’s cool, we know we are.

At the end of the year came the trip that completed the transformation.  We packed up and went on the longest plane ride we’d ever gone on and land in ‘Yeagas’.   People say that Las Vegas is not a town for children.  That it is an adult’s playground with nothing for midgets to do.  Oh how we showed them wrong.  You LOVED it.  From the moment you landed, you knew this was a place built just for you: fountains that sprayed up into the sky, roller coasters on the side of the street, people dressed up like Woody and Hello Kitty, volcanoes, pirate ships, a monorail, buses and police cars.  You ITCHED to play a slot machine but gave in to just watching the lights and hearing the sounds.

And best of all, you got to share it with Adie and Zed and Kadie.  It was the first time since you were born that there was NO warm up period.  You saw them come into the hotel and ran straight for them.  And once again, your speech started to come on leaps and bounds.   With so many things to see, so much to eat and so many modes of transportation, you just HAD to speak.  There was just too much to say.

I think of all the trips you’ve been on, this is the one I wish you could remember the most.  And not just the ladies in sequined bikinis dancing on parade floats in the sky throwing beads for you and your sister.  I wish you could remember the awe, the excitement, the pure happiness that you felt when you were there.  Though if you could remember, I’d hope you would forget the few naughty times when you ate way past your feeding time and sometimes way past your bedtime.

Noah's Party 116

After Las Vegas you came home and started pre-school. Oh it was ugly. Tears. Begging. Pleading. Falling asleep to avoid being there. We thought we’d broken the happy little dude we’d brought home from Yeagas. But over Christmas and through the next two months, you started to warm up a bit. The tears decreased and although you still hated the idea of going, you allowed yourself to have fun. And all the while the speech kept coming. So much so that I’ve finally had to start watching what I say, because you proved everyone right when one of your first words was one that shouldn’t be in a nearly 3 year old’s lexicon. But you were right, he WAS a dickweed!

And so here we are.. three years later and you have continually grown and changed and made us laugh, cry and swell with pride. You have a smile that could defrost the coldest womb and eyes that can get anything they desire. You are smart, clever, funny, rude, naughty, happy, grumpy, loving and silly. You are everything a Mommy and Daddy could hope for in a little boy. I can’t ask any more of you, other than perhaps to sleep in a little later and go to sleep a little earlier. Oh, and squeezing my thigh fat .. not so cute. There is a big difference between baby thighs and mommy thighs.

Aside from that… you’re perfection in a mischievous but totally beautiful bundle of little boy. Thank you for making all of our lives a little brighter, a bit more exciting and a lot more crazy.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Baby Boy.

Noah's Birthday 127e

Noah's Birthday 128

Momma loves you.

Yeah, that’s right.  No funny title to this entry.  No play on words.  No hidden meaning.  Just the truth served hard and cold.  I. Hate. School.  It sucks.  There is no Amy at school. There is no Daddy at school.  There is no Mommy at school.  And you actually have to wear clothes.  What the baa boo baa boo is that all about?

Did I lose you with the ‘baa boo baa boo’?  Well you see, I am still in speech therapy.  That’s part of the reason I have to go to school.  I’m not even three, folks.  Close (so birthday cards, presents, money, spaceships  etc. are welcome), but not quite.  And I don’t even start ‘real’ school until 2012.  But oh no, I can’t stay at home and enjoy this special time with my Mommy and Amy.  You know, the days that we’ll never have again where we can run around in diapers (don’t even go there with potty training. I’m not interested!) and give each other hugs or ‘cuggles’ whenever we feel like it.  Nope, instead they are shipping me off to jail.  JAIL, I tell you.  Three afternoons a week.

Apparently I am supposed to learn to socialise and become more verbal.  Well so far all they’ve got out of me is that I like Buzz Lightyear and I can cry really loudly.  Oh and I kind of like farm animals.  But I haven’t started to speak in paragraphs or add words to my vocabulary that I don’t feel like using right now.

Sure, I like Carol (the lunchtime supervisor) and Holly (my team leader) and Ruth (the manager),  but can’t I just meet up with them for lunch once a month?  Why does this need to be so often?  And why the clothes?!  I mean, you tell me which is cuter …

The Uniform (just the golf shirt is mandatory):

Thrilled - Can't you tell?

Can I take this off yet?


The Pirate:

Arrrrr Matey

Aren't I so cute.. even dribbling milk..

You don’t even have to answer it.  It’s totally the pirate.  You know why? Because I like being a pirate and I do NOT like being a student.

So there.

Please do not come here thinking that I am going to teach you how to make the best birthday cake ever. Please do not mistake yourself by thinking that I am the new Duff and I will be the Queen of Cakes. In fact, I’m more the Joker.

But as Luca and Noah’s 2nd birthday party creeps up on us, I am determined to make them a cake from scratch. The problem here? I’ve never made a cake from scratch before, let alone shape one or decorate it. I’ve never coloured icing, or rolled it out or attempted to cover said shaped cake with this fragile confectionery product.

With my Logic Advisor by my side, however, I managed to pull off something alright. The cake itself – AWESOME. Even after the panic that the batter looked like scrambled eggs or dough. Even after the panic that the dough smelled of bacon. Even after my serious lacking in scissor skills showed itself and the Logic Advisor was called in to rescue my pathetic attempt at a circle. The cakes – that’s right .. PLURAL – made their way into the oven and came out tasting like someone who knew what they were doing had been at the helm.

Baked Cakes

Bakes Cakes

While the cakes baked, I have the also completely foreign task of kneading icing and then colouring it – we were going for Numberjack 2 Orange. Let me start by saying that I attempted to “colour” some of the cookies I made at Christmas. Instead of being red or even pink, they came out looking like they were simply overcooked. So to turn something orange was a feat I took on with little hope and great fear. For a while there I thought that I was going to end up with a tie-dye iced cake. But perseverance and encouragement from the Logic Advisor led to a suitably orange product. Not the blinding orange I was after, but something I was content with.

Orange Icing - not Velveeta

Orange Icing - not Velveeta

From a honking ball of dough, I somehow needed a nice and thin sheet to drape over the cakes. This took me a while to master as I didn’t have the perfect surface space to work with and my rolling pin was a £1 Tesco special that would stick to Teflon. However, I rolled and rolled and scrunched it all up and rerolled and it came out looking quite alright, if I do say so myself.

The thinnification of icing

The thinnification of icing

Unfortunately at this juncture, the Logic Advisor and myself were faced with two unexpected and unhelpful obstacles in the shape of midgets. It should have been obvious that things were running too smoothly and something had to happen to throw us off piste.

So as we settled the littlest midget and got her back to sleep, we decided to allow the larger to sit in the kitchen while we attempted to finish the practice cake. With the assistance of the stencil the Logic Advisor roughly sketched, it came time to shape the cakes. Now I don’t even like cutting the cake at a birthday party and didn’t enjoy the cutting of the cake at our wedding because when it comes to precision hand eye coordination, I am not ashamed to say, I completely lack this skill. But with the guidance of the stencil and the Logic Advisor easing my fears, I managed to produce a rough 2 shape (in the photo it is ‘painted’ with jam to help adhere icing).

Two into 2

Two into 2

With the time delay, the icing was no longer a willing participant in this project and my once pliable friend was starting to stick and tear and crack. So I just threw it over to see if without my obstacles, might I be able to pull this off.

At very least...its a two and tasty!

At very least...it's a two and tasty!

Yes, it looks messy and some horrible patch jobs show, but it was 20 past 12 on a school night and I just wanted my bed. I do believe that I could do it nicely on the real go round, however I cannot wrap my head around how sweet the icing is, so am debating doing more of a buttercream frosting instead.

Now, I feel I must go and eat some cake scraps. Holy tasty cake!

Welcome 2010. I am very happy to see you. Already I feel like it will be a good year. At least better than the last.

ET Phone Home

Don’t get me wrong. 2009 was not ALL bad. Amy came into our lives and that has been a wonderful* thing. But in general it was pretty much a ‘meh’ year. A roller coaster ride that made me more nauseous than filled with adrenaline and fear and exhilaration. A noose of stress seemed to linger round our necks for most of it and the lack of sleep didn’t help to pretty us up.

I don’t generally make New Year resolutions, because who actually keeps them and how different are they then the promises people make themselves throughout the year? But I do promise to actually update the blogs. And even throw in some older entries that should have been added ages ago.

There will be a change. I fully intended to give Noah and Amy their own monthly review, but as you know, this fell apart in a spectacular fashion. It pains me to not have kept on top of it because I have serious issues about giving Amy a 2nd Child complex. But years of perfecting procrastination skills mixed with exhaustion levels of untold proportions have created a cocktail that has turned my brain into something resembling maggot cheese (feel free to Google it or just imagine). With only 7 to 8 days between “monthdays” as well, it is a lot to put together in such a short space of time, so I am going with the monthly thing! That way I can guarantee they both get an update each month and it means going through less of the thousands of photos I take every month to choose the good ones. And I am pretty sure that there will be more going in in the months to actually update about non-mommyhood stuff too. I think. I hope.

But if not, it is only because that is who I am. Last night was the first night in 22 months where I felt like a person separate of anyone else. I wasn’t just a mother. It was weird, but it was great. And as short as that liberation was, when Amy awoke hacking up a lung and hoping that we’d left some Moet for her, I was thrilled to see my baby girl and her ear to ear smile. Though I was even happier that Noah stayed in his room until 5.25am when he climbed into our bed and snuggled up with me and fell asleep holding my hand.

It may be exhausting, confusing, frustrating and stressful, but I love these midgets of mine. It might seem a normal thing for a parent to say, but considering there were days when I was convinced I didn’t even like them, never mind love them, it fills my heart with joy to know that I’ve made it through to the other side. Even if that other side means stepping on Hot Wheels and having someone spit up between my toes, wipe their nose on my shirt, wake me up 5 times a night for a snack, cry because I dare touch the other one, etc.

So bring on 2010 and the adventures that shall come with it. With a break every now and then to remind myself that I am still me underneath this Mommy costume, I look forward to what is ahead of us and experiencing it all as a family of four.

That’s right. I’m not giving birth this year. 2010 is looking better with each minute that passes!!!

Our NYE in Pictures:

Clementines and Party Hats

Clementines and Party Hats

Two Crazy Midgets

Two Crazy Midgets

Amy DOES Have a Mother!

Amy DOES Have a Mother!

Midget and Mommy Madness

Midget and Mommy Madness

Happy New Year!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!

Sweet Sweet Champagne How I Love Thee

Sweet Sweet Champagne How I Love Thee

May 2010 continue to be as wonderful as it started for me, for us and for all of you! Happy New Year!

We’ve waited months.

5 Months and 2 days to be exact is how long we’ve waited for Noah and Amy to interact in more than just a “ooh what is that guy doing?” “ooh, can I pull his hair?” “aww let me squeeze the last breath out of this baby” “does she cry if I slap her head while she is asleep?” way. Last night, we got it.

Oh did we ever get it. And I recorded it all. Sometimes when I take videos of them it is pretty much a waste of space on the memory card. Noah sees the camera and stops what he is doing and starts letting the neighbours, bordering counties and the authorities know that HE wants the camera NOW. Not really how I want to look back at them when we’re old and completely grey.

Not last night. Last night was pure Noah and his Three Stooges Style Comedy Genius and his little sister Amy was LOVING it!

On Thursday I told Lee that if there was ever a day I questioned why I became a mother, that was it.

On Friday, they reminded me why. I am filled to bursting with love for them. So much so that sometimes it hurts and I confuse it for having eaten something bad the night before.

Round and Round the Mulberry Bush from Kirsty B on Vimeo.

Maybe not quite 1000, but this picture sums up the lives of Noah and Amy now and until they no longer speak to me or have their own children who think the same way they do now…

Family -1 Photo

Amy to Noah: Dude, is she always like this?

Noah to Amy: Just wait. You haven’t seen anything yet….

Never has a month passed in your life where I have loved you more and more and more each day. My heart is so full to bursting that I am having chest pains.

Just Beat It

Just Beat It

Your life has been turned on its head this month. You woke up 15 months old and things seemed normal. As normal as it is to be getting a truck load of new teeth all at once. But things were the same as they always were for you: you woke up, came in Mommy and Daddy’s room, demanded that one of us turn on the television for you, laid back on the pillows, drank your milk and started your day the You way.

Dim Sum Dude

The next day, Kadie and Zed arrived. Having been so “social” lately, we thought that you’d love a trip to the airport with Daddy to greet them and that they’d see what an outgoing boy you’d become. Only, you started to wail and continued the vocal exercising for much of the journey back to Milton Keynes. I like to tell myself that it was the realisation that you were not getting on a plane and in fact were returning to Milton Keynes that caused this outburst, because I’d have pretty much the same one if I were in your shoes.

Then the weekend came and we took you out and broke your “routine”, but you were okay with it because you were getting to do a lot of things that Mommy and Daddy would say “No!” to. And oh the fountains at the HUB, how you fell in love.

The Before

The Before

The After

The After

Exactly a week after waking up as a 15 month old, as you’d come around to Kadie and Zed being a part of your daily routine, things changed again. You woke up at 4am to find me in the shower and although you were totally shattered and confused, you wanted to come in … because that’s how our day starts. After getting dressed we got into the car before it was totally light out and instead of passing right out, you just sat there staring as I made funny noises every few minutes. The next thing you know, we’re in a hospital … one which you love visiting normally, but you’d never been into one of these rooms (that you can remember since the last visit was the day you were born) and you weren’t liking that I had to keep bending over the bed and was moaning instead of playing with you. Kadie and Zed arrived and you went and hung out with Zed still remaining clueless as to what was going on.

It wasn’t until around 9 hours later when you finally got to see me again and had the look of total confusion on your face when you saw this little bundle of person in my arms.

You took to your little sister quickly and got over her quickly. In fact, you’ve been much that way ever since. When she’s alert you love to give her cuddles and tickles and poke her eyes, honk her nose and force her to play Pat-a-Cake with her hands or even her feet if those are easier to come by. When she’s in her swing the squeals of excitement that come from you can be heard in neighbouring counties. The looks in your eye range from “I wonder how fast I can make this go” to “I wonder if my Mommy would notice if I just fling myself on top of Amy” and the looks she returns range from “this guy is hilarious” to “someone HELP ME PLEASE”. You aren’t all hyper and physical with her now though. It has taken a few weeks, but you are starting to be concerned rather than annoyed when she cries. One more than one occasion you’ve come to get me when she starts to squirm and I’ve caught you trying to give her a soother because you know that it would make you feel better if you were crying and didn’t have one.


When your sister first arrived, there was a little adjustment period. You weren’t sure what was going on or what this meant for you. You didn’t quite get why Mommy had this tiny person attached to her and couldn’t do whatever it was you wanted when you wanted. And understandably, you took it out on me. It broke my heart and made me love you even more than I knew was possible. I cried a lot of tears because I was worried that you didn’t know that I still loved you just as much and even more than before and I couldn’t figure out a way to let you know.

Luckily, you had Kadie and Zed here to soften the blow of the arrival. They got you an amazing inflatable pool, filled the backyard with rocks, took you for walks, took you to the park, played with you at Rugrats, let you eat whatever you wanted, and held your leg in the car when I couldn’t reach. I’m not sure that either of us would have survived that initial period without them here to help. And as the days passed, and you realised that even if I am holding your sister, if you need me I will do whatever I can to help , we became friends again. And although we have less time to play alone or nap together or just share cuddles, every time we get a chance to, your smile is bigger than ever, the hugs are tighter and you fall asleep quicker. Amy’s arrival may have broken us initially, but we’ve repaired US even better than before!

Al Fresco

This whole month hasn’t just been about becoming a Big Brother, but also the arrival of a whole bunch of new teeth. You went through a lot over the past month with the bumps coming up and going down and making it so hard for you to chew, but you have finally seen some relief. You hit 16 months old and had a total of 13 teeth! Only 7 more to go and quite a few should be here before 17 months arrives. In fact, some may come before the end of the week. There were whinges and some tears, a lot of weird faces and clenched jaws, but only once did you get any pain relief more than Dentinox and I made Daddy give you a half dose just in case you weren’t really cutting teeth. Thank you for still loving me after that too!!!

I only hope that your sister grows to have as much patience and forgiveness for my Silly Mommyness that you have for me. Right now she appears to have neither of those and it is making life in this house kind of hard. Once again you have shown yourself to be a superstar and Daddy and I have been so proud of you. When I get sad and frustrated about the dealings with a newborn again, Kadie points out that you have come out pretty damn well and she thinks that has something to do with me. I, on the other hand, believe that how you’ve come out has been in spite of the mother you’ve been alloted.

The Family

16 months on and you continue to amaze, astonish, confuse, make us laugh, fill us with love and be the best little boy I could ever hope for. It is hard for me to think that those first couple, few… bunch of months I saw no light at the end of the tunnel and now as we go through this with Amy, you give me immeasurable amounts of hope and shine ten suns worth of light at the end of the tunnel.

Though sometimes I forget that at 4 o’clock in the morning, so thank you for starting to sleep through when your sister isn’t.

You are a Super Star!


Happy Sixteen Months, GrumpyPumps!!!
Mommy Loves You!!

15 Months of Silly

15 Months of Silly

You’ve made it to 15 months as an only child! There were days along the way in the past few weeks that we were not sure it would happen, but it has. I’m not sure that it means as much to you, but I have really enjoyed our past month together. Even if you decided to bring The Sick back and we decided to suffer at the same time.. with different ailments.. but we suffered. That part of the month, let’s not repeat.

Running Low On Steam

Running Low On Steam

The rest of it we can though! Even the parts where you’ve decided that your best friend in the entire world is your Daddy. It started at the end of last month and trust me, this month was full of those moments/hours/days/weeks. It would appear that you only really need me now when it comes to bathing and sleeping. Otherwise, you’ve become a dude’s dude and sure it is okay if I’m there too, but you don’t really need your Mommy hanging around.

Just the Two of Us - I

Just the Two of Us - I

Even if you do not need me around, I have loved watching how you follow your Daddy all over the backyard. How you call out for his attention with your finger gestures, just so he’ll look at you and you can bust a dance move or run to him with your eyes closed as you laugh so hard to yourself because of course you ARE the funniest person who has ever lived (that you get from me).

Run Forest Run

Run Forest Run

In fact, you’ve developed quite a few talents this month; spinning around in circles while stood up .. or whilst sat on your bum, trying so hard and getting so close to mimicking dance moves you see on television (Boogie Beebies is one of your favourite shows now), mastering the art of fork feeding, sleeping in a big boy bed with no bed rail, climbing up everything you see .. and most recently you’ve become addicted to participating along with my singing Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes. At first everything was your head, but you are learning and now you bend over and go straight for the toes. It makes me jealous because bending over is not something I can do easily these days!

Head and Shoulders...
Head and Shoulders…

Knees and Toes
Knees and Toes…

In fact, nothing has been easy to do the past couple of weeks and you seem to have sensed that and become even more independent than you were last month. Sure, you will try to get me to do everything, but you do give in easily and carry on your merry way and do it yourself. But you always come back for a quick cuddle to make sure that I know you still need me and maybe to check that I do need you too. Which is a given. A person can’t have someone like you come into their life and ever stop needing them. Your laugh is infectious, your smile is contagious and when your heart breaks with each tear you cry, you break my heart too. And when you sit there innocently doing something simple like eating a banana or your corn on the cob, or spinning the wheels of some toy, stroller or cart, I just want to scoop you up and cover you in kisses.

Banana Man
A Boy and His Banana

I’ve almost willed this month not to end. Not just because I am terrified about the arrival of your little brother or sister, but it has taken us so long to get here, that I am afraid of what is going to happen when your whole world is turned upside down and we don’t get to spend as much “us” time together as you are used to. I’m crossing my fingers that this baby will let us have our morning naps together at least because I really want there to be time each day where you get your Mommy all to yourself. We’ve tried hard to prepare you for the arrival, but I know you are still just a little dude as grown up as you seem, so now I need to remind myself to be patient with you and be understanding if you don’t just accept this change with open arms. You’ve worked so hard to get where you are now and it is all about to get flipped over on its head. I’ve asked a lot of you in the 15 months you’ve been around, and I’m asking once again to bear with me. This is new territory for us all.

Upside Down
Your World Flipped Upside Down

I promise, in 15 months I will not be telling you that you have to prepare for yet another sibling’s arrival. And if I do tell you that .. then look around for hidden television cameras, because one of us will just have been Punk’d. You have no idea what that means, but I am sure that it will be back on tv in syndication eventually and you will finally be filled in on the joke.

Thank you for yet another amazing month. Watching you grow up has become the greatest pastime a person could have. Though perhaps, it’d be even better without fevers or teething and those not so solid diapers you give us now and again. Month 16 is going to be a crazy one for all of us, but I promise you that I am going to love you even more next month than I have in any of the past ones and that you will still get as many cuddles as you need. Plus, your other best friend Zed is coming in a couple of days and bringing the one that feeds you anything you want (Kadie). You’re set! In fact, come to think of it, I hope you remember who I am by the end of next month!

My Happy Chapy
The Happiest Little Boy Ever

Happy Fifteen Months, GrumpyPumps!!!
Mommy Loves You!!