With only one month to go, the question on everyone’s my mind is …. will I ever stop growing?  Let’s be honest, BoB’s not been living in the smallest of homes.  Especially of late as The House seems to grow every day in order to contain The Feet.  But there is lots of space in there that is not being used.  There doesn’t need to be any more, surely.  Not that I really mind, but it’s starting to get a bit ridiculous.  I can barely bend to put on socks, Lee has to do up my shoes if they are not slip on, and heaven help me if I need to get off of the sofa and Lee’s not home.  My balance is still off, but luckily I only stumble around like a drunk from time to time and don’t actually fall over (thanks to my “healthy bum” helping balance me out).  Oh, and it’s getting more embarrassing when we go out to eat and I have to sit so far away from the table because BoB likes me to respect his/her personal space (read: BoB starts to throw a tantrum that is visible from the outside).

Perhaps it sounds like I am over reacting, and okay, I am not as huge as some pregnant women, but from my view I actually find I look small and when I see photos, reality slaps me across the face and I start to realise why my coworkers have commented on my resemblance to an elephant.

I have a feeling that I better get everything done that needs doing this week, because regardless if BoB puts on the brakes and delays arrival until the 29th of Feb, I’m not sure that if Lee leaves for work in the morning with me still in bed, that I’ll be able to get out without the help of Geraldo and his trusty Fat Person Removal Crane.

Here is my evidence:

BoB’s House at 8 months in…

8 months?!

35w4d - BoB's house..in the middle of my belly

8 months - this ain't no 6lb baby!

There best be LOADS of fluid in there or else I’m going to have to learn to love exercise…or become a wet nurse.

After a massive effort this weekend, the nursery is almost complete.  The only things left to do are hang the frames and a shelf and get the glider.  Other than that, it is ready for BoB to move on in.

It has not been easy, and I take my hat off to Lee for persevering as this weekend has thrown as many curveballs as it could at us (more specifically..at Lee).

In order to change the door of the nursery from left opening to right opening, Lee had to chisel, plane, sand and refrain from kicking the door.  It would appear that like most things in our house, the previous owner did a quick and easy job to try and make things look okay.  I guess I cannot blame him for the sloping floors, but I will anyway.  The door took a long time, drained a lot of patience and is finally closing the way we want it to. Yay Lee!   I did undo a few screws, use the cheese grater thing a bit and try my hand at the chisel, but when it comes down to it… it was Lee!

Here he is hard at work on the pesky door!

Lee gets chiseled

Lee goes plane

The door was not the only accomplishment.  BoB’s light is no longer a naked bulb as Lee fitted the lampshade adaptors and the economically priced lampshade is on and looking good.  It’s actually white despite what it looks like in the photo that will be posted below!  (edit: Lee’s just called me in to see the New Improved BoB’s Room and I took the opportunity to take a photo of the lampshade looking white)

And the barenaked window is now home to blinds, a curtain rail and a curtain.  We were going to to with two curtains, but the blinds block out a lot of light and the one curtain covers the entire window when you pull it across.    I’ve kept the other one in case we change our minds, but at the moment we are LOVING BoB’s room, so I might just have one extra curtain for no reason at all.

Once again, 95% of the work was completed by Lee.  I project managed by saying how high to put the curtain rail, how much of the pole to cut off and I even hemmed the curtain which was 1.2 metres longer to start with.  Alright alright, I cheated and used the melty plastic insta-hem thing that came with it, but it involved using an iron which anyone that knows me well will be aware that I am not well versed in doing.  That was the first time this year that I actually used an iron… equalling the amount of times I used it all of last year!

So now, we are going to take a well deserved rest and this evening I shall rope Lee in to helping me pack my hospital bag and repack BoB’s hospital bag.   I’ve already completed my birth plan, complete with side comments like I’d make in person and now we just have to get the rest of the house ready, get my legs waxed and await the arrival!

It’s getting close and I am getting excited.  Scared senseless, but even more excited.

Time to plant my backside on the sofa. Or on the floor near it as not to anger my right bum cheek any further!

The New and Improved And Almost Finished Nursery  ….

Check out how well the blinds match the crib! Yay IKEA!

All Dressed Windows

See, it really is white…

Lampshade

The other direction, with BoB’s fancy laundry basket (Homebase – for all of your wicker basket needs!)

The Other Way

And one tired and relieved Daddy to Be, ready for a nap on the sofa!

Sleepy Lee

This pregnancy has, at some point or another, resulted in me experiencing every emotion known to man.  I’ve been elated, depressed, excited, despondent, angry, wistful, grateful, crushed, etc.

For a while there I was actually afraid that I was going to be forever lost in the negative emotions as they seemed to take over.  Having never imagined having a baby without my Dad there beside me to tell me what I was doing wrong, it has been extremely difficult actually living that out.  When my Dad died, a huge part of my heart died.  With the help of my family (Lee is in line for sainthood) I fought hard to try and find the Kirsten I was before and managed to recover someone who pretty much resembled her.  Not quite the same person, but was as close as it appeared I’d get.

And then I got pregnant… and lost her again.

It is not that I didn’t want to be pregnant.  In fact, I’ve wanted it so badly for a long time.  It’s just that I never realised how hard it would be without my Daddy.  The grief flooded back and wholly consumed me.  Some days I was so upset at myself because no matter how hard I tried to force myself to be excited about the little dude growing in me, I just couldn’t do it.  I could see the bump growing, feel the baby kicking and yet there were times when I would look in the mirror and be shocked to see that I was pregnant.  It was definitely a scary feeling.

But for one of the very few times in my life, and much to the shock of my mother, I was proactive about it.  I knew that I didn’t want to experience such a wonderful time in my life in the way that I was.  You only get to have your first child once.  I know that seems obvious, but it took me a while to get there.  Sure, if Lee and I are lucky enough to give BoB a sister or brother, I’ll experience most of it all over again, but the “firsts” will be gone and we’ll have someone else who keeps us occupied all day, and we won’t have the opportunity to sit there for an hour and try and figure out how to make things work or what the best way is to make the bump dance.  So, I went to my GP and asked for help.  The first one I saw was crap. He told me some complete mumbo jumbo about climbing a mountain one step at a time.  I think my Mom gave him the heads up that I was coming.  I then went to see my midwife who agreed that it was a bunch of crap and referred me to the same drop in place that we send the offenders.  This was out of the question.

So one day I returned to the doctor’s office and actually got to meet the man who is my registered GP.  He actually listened to what I was saying, asked me some questions and said that he would do what he could to get me some proper help before the baby arrived.  I didn’t hold out much hope, but within two weeks I was actually getting the help and was so relieved!  It had taken over a month from the start of my crying until that point, but part of me knew that there was light at the end of the tunnel, even if I couldn’t see it then.

Fast forward just over a month and a half, and I’ve been officially discharged.  Not in the Britney Leaves Cedars-Sinai way, but because I am actually happy again.  Something happened to me when I was in Toronto and although I didn’t feel it then, and I definitely didn’t feel it on the flight back, but once we landed something tripped a switch.  I became more focused, more in control  and started to love every moment of this pregnancy thing.  Okay, not every moment, but does anyone really love Braxton Hicks and a baby’s head in your pelvis whilst you’re on all fours and vomiting?  I didn’t think so.

The main point is that somewhere on that trip, I realised that yes, this sucks not having my Dad around and I will most likely never fully recover the Kirsty I was when he was here, but I have to be strong for me, for Lee and for this baby who has no idea what he or she is in for having a mother like me.  I know that if my Dad was here, he’d love BoB almost as much as Lee and I do (he’d definitely love BoB more than he’d love me!), but since he can’t be here I need to love BoB for him.  A few weeks ago I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to love BoB as much as I should as a mother, never mind loving him or her for someone else.  Now though, with the due date rapidly approaching, I am only afraid that I might love BoB too much.

Some of you know that I wrote my Dad a birthday card this year and actually posted it.  In it I gave him shit like I usually would have, and also asked him for something … and I’m getting him/her very soon.  Now I wasn’t going to push my luck and ask for anything else and definitely didn’t ask my Dad for this GP, but if you could meet him you’d think my Dad handpicked him for me.  He’s so an Astaphan in disguise.  Not many doctor’s would crack a joke with their finger up your bum.  My Dad would though .. and so did my GP.

Anyway, this was meant to be a short post to say that I’m back on track, loving this pregnancy… every nauseous, dizzy, gutwrenching moment…and cannot wait to meet BoB.

Well I can wait… a little longer.  At least until the house is spotless.

As for BoB, we had the midwife today and BoB was all measured up: My belly is measuring 36 weeks and BoB’s engaged!  Our fast little mover!   Oh and apparently BoB has a “healthy bum”.  I am not really sure what that means, but the student midwife that was working with my midwife today was feeling all around my belly and then grabbed the bum and said “there’s a healthy bum”!.   Poor child, from what we’ve seen so far, all BoB has inherited from me are my feet and my backside.  No wonder he/she is getting ready to come out… apparently they think it is my turn to get the shit that I’ve been giving my parents for years.

He/she might be right, but at least I have a while until they can actually put it in words and tell me.

Yesterday (2.1.2008) was the first day back at the office for a lot of people who avoided having to work over Christmas. Most people were met with greetings of “Happy New Year” or “How were your holidays?”. I on the other hand was met with “You’re massive!”, “You look like you’re about to explode!” and “Are you sure you’re not due this month?”.

Nothing like a few words of encouragement to pick up my spirits after a completely crappy New Year’s Day – literally.

Being used to slight exaggerations, I took it all in stride and even glowed a little when someone said “from behind you’d never even know she was pregnant”.

Then Jay went to take a “comparison” photo of BoB. The last one being (I believe) on the 5th of December. The results were clear… they weren’t exaggerating. I AM HUGE.

33w2d: Bringing BoB toWork

*gulp*

There are still 6.5 weeks for BoB to expand. This is getting out of hand. I’m not going to be able to fit behind the steering wheel much longer. Actually, that is not where my problem lies. My big issue is trying to get out of the car when I park anywhere but in our driveway. England’s parking spaces are so tiny that they are not meant to house Freelanders and Free Willies at the same time!

or at least a bright glow in the nursery.  The only downside is that the upstairs of the house smells like paint, though that may be what aided our sleep last night.

The Before:

The nursery before

Yes, I know that any talent that can produce art like that should be displayed somewhere open to the public for mass consumption, but I am a bit shy about my paintbrush skills!

The During:

Lee gets stuck in
Lee takes the task seriously as always.

30.12.07: Us in the nursery

No SARS here!

The After (at least until we get another colour up there):

BoB gives it the once over

BoB has a nose around the “new” room.

Lee is thrilled to be done for the night!

He cannot believe that it is all over!  But I could. I was absolutely shattered and I’ve discovered that although BoB is quiet when I am active, the slowing down of any activity leads to his/her consumption of whatever adrenaline I had remaining and the Womb Raving begins.  I won’t be shocked if this kid comes out with a toned body from all of the dancing he/she is doing in there!

After the painting we settled into our pyjamas and got on the sofa for The Big Fat Quiz of the Year, during which I believe BoB had a growth spurt.  At least that is what I am telling myself after seeing the latest photos.

32w5d: Hoodies aren't just for Christmas

My Mom was right once again… I am only going to get bigger before the end.  Hopefully it will slow down with 7 weeks and 1 day left.

32w5d: BoB takes over..

32w5d: All about BoB

My belly button even seems to be making a last ditch effort at becoming an outtie.  Lee even saw the bottom of it for the first time yesterday.  However, this morning it has returned to “normal”.  That’s normal for you… not me and my much loved cavernous tummy button.

And on that note, I need to get ready for work. Yay Me. 🙁

As I’ve written on my normal blog, I’ve yet to be consumed by The Christmas Spirit.  I want to be. Desperately, but it just isn’t happening.  Perhaps it is the pure exhaustion of being quite pregnant, the fears and worries and stresses that come with the pregnancy, my inability to concentrate on anything for an entire minute added with my fragile mental state.

Yeah, we’ll go with the All of the Above choice there.

I’ve been slacking on the BoB blog due to the physical and mental exhaustion.  We’re still taking the photos, and I still think “ooh, I should write about X or Y”, but I just lie there like a lump of moss on roof tile.

This week I’ve passed my Life in the UK test which means should my application be sent in on time and approved, BoB’s Mommy will be legally allowed to stay in the country once BoB is born.  It won’t be a birthing equivalent to a Dine and Dash where I’ve got to push push push and then be deported once the cord is snipped.

Hooray for that!   As I feel I may be a little tired when BoB arrives.

As well as I did on the test, I failed my Blood Test last week.  My iron levels have dropped again and I’ve been put on iron pills.  Luckily I am going away on Wednesday because that will give my midwife enough time to forget her threat that she was going to tell me off if it went lower than the last test.

Though it means I have to have another test next time. That is worse than the side effects of the iron pills, which have seen me up at all hours with stomach cramps.

Over the next couple of weeks the postings may continue to be slow in coming because we are off to Toronto for some of the week ahead and some of the week after.  Then there is Christmas and New Year’s Eve.  Then only 3 and a bit weeks of work left before I get to sleep in, if I am not too busy having mini heart attacks at what is about to happen.

I am going to be a mother in just over 10 weeks.  That is if BoB is on time and not early… or late.

So here are some photos to hold you over in case I have a total emotional meltdown not being able to cope with all of the events and stresses ahead!

From Monday: 28weeks 6days

28w6d: From the Front

28w6d: From the Side

Where the Belly Button would be if it popped

Friday: 29weeks 3days

29w3d: Side View

Get in mah bellah!

29w3d: All of the BoB

People say pregnancy suits me.. I think it is because the belly finally balances out the bum!

29w3d: The Belly

Saturday: 29weeks 4days

29w4d: By the tree

29w4d: Posing by the Tree

29w4d: BoB's 1st Christmas on the inside

BoB gets a close up of the tree:

29w4d: Mah Bellah